female gaze

we were looking for blackout blinds for our living room, to make watching netflix easier in the summer... i was trying to google and learn about them, and this one page has titles like "are black out blinds eco friendly?" ummmm. buying ANYTHING is not eco friendly, but i think blinds are not at the top of my worry list. pls just tell me what materials are good and what i need to look out for. i mean for fucks sakes, im struggling with the basics here, how often do the battery operated ones need charging, does PVC surface reflect sunlight or is the colour all that matters…. anyway we eventually made a choice but since its custom made to the size we have to wait a little.


good things:
-our internet connections pings were 6ms and 16ms
-i got a surprise gift last week, a book called Three Women by Lisa Taddeo. from Jessica.
-ate in a local restaurant (Eco) 3 times the other week. that’s probably more than in the last year or 2 altogether.
-documentary called Some Kind of Heaven was really interesting
-we went to see The Worst Person in the World and i really liked it. it felt very real and while i couldn’t fully relate, on some level i did.
-basking in the sun on sunday at the park and in the livingroom
-visited my father and connected with my siblings last weekend

backyard in Klosterneuburg, Austria (sauna!). it happened to be nice weather.

testing the backside of blinds fabric samples. checking the temp in the sun. there was a difference of several degrees! they were similar colours in the front but some had a lighter backside to avoid sucking in the heat.

we went to see a local amateur comedy night with doctor.

we were planning to go to japan this summer, finally - 2020 the plan was cancelled. but then i realised they are not yet open for tourism and dont have any plans for that. so we started looking at million other places. first world problems "sooo hard to choose where to gooo". so privileged... uh. so anyway, while i was obsessing over hotel features we realised doctor needs to renew his residence card cos it would expire during the holiday. and those things are never fast here. fill forms, submit documents, go somewhere to give your fingerprints, and WAIIIIT. so plans are on hold, u just cant trust Home Office enought o go ahead with bookings, no idea when the card will come. im a little annoyed for sure, as always when things dont go my way, but i know we'll eventually go somewhere and all is well.


ive been feeling confused lately and still do. everything is confusing and im not able to explain it any better to anyone.