November 18, 2018

a hole

this may the 3rd or 4th time im writing it, but bloody hell how i enjoy the quick home deliveries in London. Turkish online shops also usually offered fairly fast and free delivery - but its easy in a country with cheap labour. the online market was otherwise not as developed as here though, and so we did much less shopping like that. and to be fair, the delivery speed and quality of tracking and other options are way better here.

there was a cool graffiti area near Waterloo station.

i looked at getting tickets to chess world championship games (carlsen vs caruana) but they started from 55£ and i think my threshold is around 40-50£ for any ticket...   anyway, so i am watching the video streams instead, here and there (they are on 6 draws in a row... seriously?

last weekend we visited a city farm on Isle of Dogs. free entry, lots of animals. from horses to exotic birds to sheep to pigs to goats to guinea pigs... wide variety. so many different types of chicken and pigs, too!

im trying to watch House of Cards. somehow i guess it's a bit predictable (first episode in). also, started watching Wallander. i'm intrigued but at the same time i find it a bit soppy and emotional, so not sure if i will stick with it. the unrealistic scenarios don't really help. but its hard to find good crime/detective shows to be honest. reminds me of Rizzoli & Isles.  how far ahead of its time was that show?!  much more lighthearted than i'd prefer and whats popular nowdays, but 2 strong female leads, neither of which was typically girly or weak or desperate for men or broken... that's great in its own right. about Wallender though, its weird to have swedish characters in a swedish town speaking british english...  makes you think. i dont mind mixing up things, but it is sad how americans or brits cant stomach good quality tv unless its in english. Channel4 has a special "section" for great foreign drama though, and BBC probably has stuff too - but i believe it is a small minority of people that enjoy them.

my saturday. happy to have this empty hole instead of the ball of hell what was before. 2cm deep. gross, sure, but such is life. at least it wasnt cancerous.

i had this cyst on my calf that was driving me crazy. started as a tiny bump in january, like a permanent raised mosquito bite, then slowly became a monster. occasionally it got inflamed and sore, but other times it was fine. i got an ultrasound referral but the hospital fucked up and i never got an appointment. then it grew so big and got inflamed so bad i went back to the GP and he was noooot happy. he sent me to emergency ultrasound. which the same hospital and department was trying to fuck up again but i chased them and got it done. ok, ultrasound showed it was a round cyst as expected. great, NOW can we take it off? i got a plastic surgery referral for Dec 13th. but at this point the cyst got badly infected and achy and so i got antibiotics but it was too late, it didn't go down and the cyst burst and blah blah. so i went to the emergency dept and doctor's colleague Adam drained and emptied it. hopefully really well cos it hurt like a motherf*cker and i rather not have it repeated. thing is, if cyst walls are left, the cyst is likely to return. but he seemed to get most of it out.
below is a piece of the cyst wall, white, flexible hardened stuff.

this year has been horrible health wise. i had my first flu in 15years a month ago and of course the year started with my foot broken and there has been one thing after another. i hope with this cyst removal this phase symbolically finishes.

"brands that built britain" puzzle done and getting packed! i stated a new one minutes after. 

i got Clarks trainers.  finally decent trainers that dont look horrible.

November 06, 2018

the city that always has something to offer

facebook has been offering me this ad for a while. more accurately Bluebella's social media person has clicked around to target "female x-y in London who are interested in z". ok, i dont mind, but who the hell is actually gonna wear this little piece? i envision it getting tangled like headphones...
i went to Blackheath with friends last night to see the "5th  of November" fireworks. we had a nice dinner in a brewery style restaurant and afterwards a drink at a cute underground jazz bar. superb.

i had to call Apple support about an account related issue. i did queue for nearly 10 minutes i think, but the automated part was less painful than usual and i was able to choose the type of music or in my case, lack of it. importantly though the service was really good and they had a nice very smooth screen sharing system, i was very pleased. the 15 minute call cost me about 50 pence. while i think customer service should be free, IF you're charging, at least that's an acceptable price.

Brixton is famous for its street art and murals. this is something just nearby our home.

this article (The Root) on black maternal mortality in the US was really concerning. i didnt imagine it was all fair & nice, their healthcare is not nice to begin with but this sounds far worse. on the positive, The Atlantic reports that americans can now get the abortion pill by mail. sounds like a lifesaver as clinic are being closed left and right.

i tried watching Maniac on Netflix. a bit intense for my taste. i might still try continue but not sure.

i read both Dove and CoverGirl are becoming cruelty free certified. im especially happy about Dove cos i remember i used to use their products and they have at least tried with the inclusive advertising. CoverGirl is great just cos it's a huge brand and so this means a lot less tes...tortured bunnies.

Spotify's playlist Your Time Capsule is awesome. good old favourites.

October 22, 2018

parisian dream

well, i didnt know Noam Chomsky was banned from entering Israel. makes sense now that I read more about what he's said. not that it's so radical, but Israel is so sensitive.

i stopped over at the nearby 2nd hand bookshop but it's always dangerous. i spent an hour there and went a bit overboard perhaps. got 2 smaller books for doctor; Chomsky's On Anarchism and a Graphic Guide to Sartre. and for myself i seem to have decided to take up latin again (cos unsurprisingly you forget a language if you dont use it?) and educate myself on a few things...i think i might be a little too ambitious. book stores have that effect on me. i have been hearing positive things about Yanis Varoufakis' books so i got myself one of those but suspect it may be a heavy read. i dont always get through books like that. the rest is my typical feminism and biograhy mix. i love Owen Jones' Guardian articles so i'd been eyeing his book for a while.

 we were in Paris for a long weekend. the weather was very favourable, 25c throughout, surprising in October! the atmosphere was really nice, we chilled in a cute Airbnb flat, enjoyed the lively streets and good food. even found a wine festival to enjoy!

 Paris nightlife

parisian dinner with people we met at the Airbnb experience (walking tour of "philosophers & thinkers in Paris")

friends invited us over for a dinner and we made out own pizza!

me and Samantha enjoyed a lunch at a board room cafe yesterday. we tried a few different games but ended up spending most of the time on Trivial Pursuit. which i lost! my black hamburger was cool nevertheless.

Soydan came over in the evening, they got keys to their first rental flat finally but no mattress yet so he stayed with us for one night. he helped me finish our puzzle, yay! i ordered a new one right away and it arrived today.

October 08, 2018

mortal engines

another friend (a couple) moved from turkeyto here a couple weeks back. they were held back for months due to retarded Tier 2 work visa caps, which were then abolished for NHS workers. so now they are in london and the 'turkish mafia' is growing. and the facebook group for turkish doctors in UK (or attempting to come, more like) is almost 2000 people, just a few days short of it. in Mersin we met some doctors actually who are in the group and trying to make their way. it's really motivating to see that all the information can help people and now the group is big enough so that people help each other and one by one they are coming, too. anyway, im so happy our friends finally moved, it's good to have familiar faces around.

we spent a week+ in south of turkey. first Antalya and then Mersin. sun and sea...and the in-laws. we did a little weekend getaway with doctors mom & nieces to a seaside town near Mersin. i ate lots of tantuni's and tried to remember how to speak turkish. i get on with everything, actually, it was just several days of doing that.

we finished the London map puzzle and started on a new one. yay.

my specialty is taking photos after eating... not necessarily visually pleasing nor logical. it WAS a turkish breakfast with the family.

interesting...wall with an entrance

a grill/restaurant by a river an hour from Mersin. you can bring your own meat or fish and grill it, it's  a public access place. but there is a place selling meat, and they can grill it for you too.the tables in the river are inviting but we stayed on dry ground.

turks love threir bread...

 our 8.5 yr anniversary, just take out from the nearby mexican streetfood place. a burrito for doctor and an avo+feta salad for me.

shirts to doctor from Threadless. 

a wooden tray from doctor's mom's shop. it had a flower arrangement glued on it as i think it was meant for weddings or something but the shop assistant kindly removed it so we can use it for anything. i think thats one of the few finnish tings in me; i like some wooden items.

random view in london a few weeks back, whenwe had a finnish womens meeting near london bridge.

so Conor McGregor lost his latest. i was disappointed to read about his pre-fight behavior. he's always been loud and brash but for a while now i think it's been getting too much and now i think it's not cool anymore. he is just building a brand i think in preparation for retiring. maybe smart but im growing tired of it. still, i was in his corner, too bad.

not sure what was the point of this photo.

 Mortal Engines seems cool, i think i want to see it when it comes out.

September 13, 2018


oh dear. ive found Elon Musk a pretty interesting character. seems like a smart guy but then there's a few weird things here and there...ehm.  however, attacking my favorite newspaper does not go down well!

i made sure to use the donation link on the very page so the connection is clear. it's prolly been 6 months since i last donated (or should i say "volunteerly paid for") so thanks Elon for reminding me.

anyway that was on Joe Rogan's show, which ive never listened to. i know him from MMA, fun commentator. now i learned he does stand up comedy too, and some of it is on netflix. i have a plan to check that out now.

i bought a dressing gown. ive asked myself many times if there is really need for one. but ive spent a year pondering now so i just caved in and got it. 

today i voted in a local council election. i think of the guys in the council died so they had to hold a re-election. as before, finding information is painfully hard, near impossible. the candidates dont even have twitter accounts.... but i got 2 leaflets. from Labour and Green Party. number 1 and 2 in the borought so i guess it makes sense. i thought it was interesting how different they were so here is the comparison;

the Labour letter only had one side. and it was all about Brexit. well i LOVED that of course. also i very much like the MP the letter was from. actually, perhaps odd that Helen Hayes campaigned for the candidate so directly? anyway, Michael Groce's leaflet was super interesting too. the front had upfront numbers of the council seats and an explation of the overall situation. unusual take on things? the back was then all bout local issues of which many i've thought about a lot. and, Green Party are remainers, if we think from brexit standpoint. so  in the end, Michael got my vote. 

we are getting down to the nitty gritty with the London puzzle. its honestly painful, the pieces all look the same.

...and i have the next one waiting.

Bachelor AU just had a woman basically apologise for having relationships with women as well. it was one of those "sharing a past trauma or huge secret" discussions, where they get nervous and worry that their revelation might turn the bachelor off...  she topped it off by underlining that she is 'not a bisexual or lesbian or anything like that', just loves people (or something, i stopped listening for a bit). she then continued to convince him that she does find males more attractive etc... really sounded like she was sharing something horrible she had done? very very sad times!

September 08, 2018

kun ei osaa

pientä prokrastinointia taas ilmassa. mitä lie olikaan suomeksi. olin jotenkin sössinyt suomen veroasiat ja sain sieltä verottajalta kirjeen...  köh. en ole ilmoittanut vuodelta 2017 vuokratuloja, sen perään kyselivät. ihan aiheellisesti. mutta tosi uskomatonta etten ollut, en tiedä miten mene aina tosi sekaisin näiden verojuttujen kanssa. olen tänäkin vuonna pohtinut monta kertaa jotain verotusasiaa ja jotain mitä lie vähennyksiä mut sit en ole muka ilmoittanut suomeen tuloja? ei ole edes eka kerta kun sekoilen. jotenkin vaikeaa kun kyse on asiasta joka hoidetaan kerran vuodessa ja sit pitkin vuotta tulee jotain posteja, "verotuspäätös vuodelle xx" tai jotain, ja sit niissä tietysti viitataan johonkin jo menneeseen vuoteen. luonnollisesti. ja sit vuoden aikana tapahtuu asioita (näitä tuloja tai menoja) jotka pitäis muistaa sit vuoden päästä kun niitä pitäis ilmoitella. mun mielestä ihan suht järkeenkäypä selitys on se että olin aina mukana siinä veroehdotuksessa, eli mulle tuli joka vuosi arvio tai joku veroista ja jos ei ollu mitään spessua ni ei tarvinnu täyttää mitään lippulappuja, verot pyöri ihan automaattisesti. sit jonain vuonna jos ties et oli jotain ni pysty menee nettiin ja tekee jonku uuden arvion ja tulostaa uuden verokortin. en oikeasti siis ole tehnyt veroilmoituksia oikeen ikinä. nyt muutamana vuonna olen kai netissä ilmoittanut niitä vuokratuloja. en ole edes varma, en vaan muista. ilmankos mulla on jäänyt asiat hoitamatta...  ensimmäinen oikea veroilmoitus jonka tein oli tän vuoden tammikuussa täällä UK:ssa. se toikin hien pintaan ihan kiitettävästi. sain nyt täytettyä sen lomakkeen joka verottaja pyysi, ja rupesin excelissä asettelee numeroita paikallista veroilmoa varten - ajattelin tällä kertaa tehdä aiemmin kuin tammikuussa! mutta aika iso ahdistus valtasi mielen. niin paljon kysymyksiä. en edes tieä mistä lähtis googlettaa... pitäs tietää kans paljonko olen maksanut suomeen veroja, sitä britti-ilmoitusta varten. mitähän mä sillon tammikuussa keksin siihen? ärsyttää sekin ettei muista miten on selvinnyt jostain viime kerralla. ei pelkkä se muistaminen mut jos lasken nyt jotain eri tavalla ni se voi osua omaan nilkkaa, päädyn maksaa liikaa tms. mut oikeesti, mistä mä tiedän paljonko mä oon maksanu suomeen veroja? etsin pankin tiliotteista paljonko olen siirtänyt rahaa niille jossain kuussa, jos tietäisin missä? voipi olla kirjanpitäjän paikka. toki samat tiedothan mun pitää sillekin kaivaa, mutta sais ainakin jotain selkeyttä joihinkin kysymyksiin ja selkeämpää ohjeistusta.

tää hesarin juttu "Terveen ei kannata miettiä työasentoja" oli vähän niinku mun ajattelua. jos ei se oo rikki ni älä koske siihen. istumatyö ei tunnu aiheuttavan mulle juuri ongelmia joten en stressaa siitä suotta. silti, on selvää että säännöllinen liikunta on muuten vaan hyväksi ja tärkeää pidemmän päälle joten olen sitä viime vuosina, vaihtelevalla menestyksellä, lisännyt.

eilen oli kuukausittainen lontoon suomalaisten pubi-ilta. koska sitä lupasin järjestää niin sit on pieni (itseaiheutettu) paine myös ilmestyä paikalle joka kerta. hauskaahan se on mutta joskus vois jäädä kotiinkin... eilen aloin siellä vähän puhumaan eri suuntiin et jos kohta antais kapulan jollekin toiselle. tai esim jakaisi homman muutaman ihmisen kesken. hommanahan se ei ole kummoista, varata jostain pubista pöytää ja laittaa faceryhmiin ilmoituksia, mutta sen muistaminen ja kaikki. no, vastuutehtävissä on aina sellainen oma läpinäkyvä taakkansa. en nyt saanut ketään ihan heti innostumaan mutta jatkan lämmittelyä ensi kuussa...

August 27, 2018

trying to handle london

new puzzle. trying to learn london at the same time. starting with the river, it's pretty hard otherwise, just hundreds of pieces of streets...

ive been a bit obsessed with it. it's conviently laid out on the coffee table, so sitting on the sofa it's just so in my face, i cant help myself. ive started to doubt how much it will improve my knowledge of london overall though. i have of course picked up a few details or corrected some misconceptions (somehow i thought Blackfriars Bridge was on the right side of Tower Bridge...), but yet, yesterday when i was somewhere in the east, although i had a visual of the O2 arena, i was completely unaware of my actual location. it was by the river, near Royal Victoria DLR station. my friend Niina was doing a photoshoot there and i was just keeping company. chill afternoon. and delicious Indian food afterwards.

i watched Stephen Fry's Netflix special. ive always loved him so it was interesting, although a bit hard to follow as i wasnt sure about the theme or where it was going. also watched a couple of stand up shows recently, like Demetri Martin's The Overthinker. something weird happened with Netflix the the other day.  i realize its just me not knowing how netflix works perfectly... but it's kept me thinking. usually after one episode it automatically plays the next one. and the next one. and so forth. a few days ago, i think i was 2 or so episodes in (Lewis), but after that, instead of playing the next episode, it just gave me a trailer of similar show (finnish out of all things!) and then that was that. why didnt i get the next episode? was netflix like "okay youve had anough of this, go to bed, and watch THIS tomorrow". maybe i should give the finnish show a chance, but im kind of enthralled with the british ones atm.

im in a few facebook groups for childfree people. for group support and whatnot, its good to have spaces with likeminded people. what has bothered me is how all too often people in the groups refer to childred as "uterus turds" or "sperm being", in addition to the usual insults. of course the groups are intended to be a safe place to vent frustrations and whatnot. i guess it's just a culture/personality thing, i'm averse to that type of descriptions in most other contexts too. i also get annoyed with crying children and all that, but i cant find hate in myself. it doesn't make sense from evolution perspective. not that hate is sensinle most times...   anyway. i guess its good to be exposed to differing views and ideas...  that's what i get from facebook a lot anyway, if someone asks what's in it. there is a lot of facebook hate going around recently. how its addictive, how there is no content, no real relationships. i cant find myself agreeing. surely a lot of time is wasted scrolling the newsfeed and watching dog saving videos and cat memes, but to see my colleague from 15 years ago post something that's far removed from my lifestyle, or opinions... is interesting. even more remote acquintances... they have sometimes become closer through facebook, we have something in common and chat. maybe someone i once met a party is sharing links to articles i'd never see otherwise. i find it invaluable.

this popup (?) restaurant/bar had an amusing, if slightly sexist, stand outside. husband daycare center.

August 21, 2018

detective work

ive been reading. Jon Ronson's Lost At Sea was amusing. then i went on to buy another book of his, Them: Adventures With Extremists, from a local second hand book shop. last year i read So You've Been Publicly Shamed and that's what got me "into" him - super insightful book, very current topic. now i also have tickets to his show in October, it's some kind of on stage version of his audio series Butterfly Effect. then i also picked up another book of Alain De Botton's, On Love. i enjoy his slightly philosophical take on things, yet its grounded in reality, not totally out there. i think this whole reading business has got me quite exited, it's invigorating.

ive been watching a lot of detective shows. besides the staple of Bachelors and Married at first Sights, that sis. Unforgotten is great, unfortunately the most recent season just finished. a few weeks ago i discovered Lewis, a spin off of Morse, which i watched as a kid with my gran. i tried watching it again but didnt like it as much as i did around 30 years ago...    the world of Lewis in academic Oxford is a bit old fashioned and reminds me all too much of the class divide here. and every episode if full of professors and Shakespeare quotes and...  well, still pretty good. i also started watching Prime Suspect but it was a bit too real (harsh) at that time, maybe i will try again later, its  clearly good. Shetland was also good, and i started Luther long time ago and should get back to it. i think my favorite is Vera though, and im eagerly waiting for the new season to start...  and next on my list is Broadchurch. but these Lewis episodes are 1.5 hour each so the 9 or so seasonw ill keep me busy for a while longer.

there was this wedding in helsinki, it was suitably around the same time i had to go for work anyway so ...yay? but although we were both invited, doctor couldnt go. he was in  germany for a metal festival at the time. and i didnt know anyone at the wedding besides the groom and bride, who are loooovely people, a really cute couple. it was just a tough hour or two before finns had enough courage from the welcome drink and were able to talk to a loner. it was a wonderful wedding though to be honest and in the end i stayed until the wee hours of the morning.

 the wedding afterparty near city center, on a boat.
other than the wedding my trip was a bit stressful. not sure what started this tailspin, but in any case im better now. i think this year has just been a bit hard, things have felt like out of control and i dont like that! i even went on to Amazon and got myself a self help book to process my control issues...  it was actually a pretty good one! lotsa lightbulb moments.

 me and doctor having thai style dinner a week ago.

picnic on saturday with some finnish people. 
 me and doctor working on a puzzle. took a few hours, small one. but very nice, i think. just not ergonomic. i wonder if there exists "puzzle desks", i imagine they would be in a vertical angle like a painting stand. because staring down to a table just kills a neck. i can work on a computer but this stuff... 

July 29, 2018

new things for body and head

my father was here for a long weekend. he got to see Brixton and how we live and i guess he approved, lol. on saturday we went to Oxford street and Hyde Park, and on Sunday we checked out a local festival at the nearby park. i expected something smaller from an event called Lambeth Country Show but apparently it drew in 150 000 people. it did get a bit crowded in the late afternoon but mostly we didn't have to queue much for food or drinks, and it was quite comfortable to browse the local stalls. (Lambeth Country Show article on local news).at the end of both days my legs were killing me though, had to soothe them with ice packs. and im the daughter of someone who walked from here to Southbank and Westminster. wtf. i didn't get my legs from him thats for sure. nor my religion. and i know it pains him that im not following Jesus and wont be saved, but it also pains me that we are politically on opposite sides, it seems. so, we have our differences of opinion, but i try to steer away from those subjects cos its no use arguing.

Lambeth Country Show

Outline's article on Delvey & Holmes, the "female scam artists" is not very good. it focuses on critisizing the women's hair and looks in general. poorly applied make up and so on. it critisizes rich women and their fashion choices and hair rituals in general quite generously, but especially these two. now, if you're a scam artist, maybe you've deserved some s***? sure, but i see it pointless to attack someone's make up and cheap highlights. i dont really get a sense of good journalism from it. actually, i see a lot of this going around. making fun of someone's looks, when it's their actions that have attracted the negative attention. im sure im guilty of this too, especially in the past, but i try to be mindful about it now.

New Yorker's article on Assange was pretty good although it spent a lot of time just describing what happened and when, but maybe thats necessary, a lot of time has passed and the "arch" of his story is important. the photo on the article was interesting, the color scheme and obvious photoshop.

also, NY Times' article on S-Town and it's handling f the main character is a good read. while not unlawful perhaps, i myself was not a fan of all the intimate details exposed in S-Town. although i liked it a lot of in general.

me and doctor have been wondering about getting a cat. if i only knew whether i can deal with a hypoallergenic cat, such as a siberian. its just so individual. also, while im keen on us getting a cat or two, it's also scary. the weight of the responsiblity is ...a lot. they can get annoyed and pee on the bed, or ruin the landlord's sofa...  the more i think of it, the scarier it sounds.

the past weeks, besides entertaining my father, have been semi social. the weather has been amazing so always looking for a reason to go out. Jessica, Niina & me went to an asian food festival, for instance. it was nice, but the queues were horrible and most of the stalls offered full portions... so, what, u pay entrance fee, buy a meal, then your full and thats it? why not just go to a restaurant. i have noticed this to be an issue on other food fest's too so maybe im just ignorant of how its supposed to work. in my mind, they would have small bites or appetizer size things, small portions of some sort. so you could try a few different things. obviously this would make it worse with queues unless the number of people was better adjusted to the number of stalls... or something. anyway.

asian food festival

Richmond & Thames with Bella a couple weeks ago. i met her in Istanbul, but she is a brit, now visiting 'home'.  there was an athentic german restaurant/beer garden by the river which was lovely.

i bought a new handbag (right). old for reference. i needed something with a zipper on top and with some more space, so this was it.

also a new wallet, since the previous was lost/stolen when we went to the cinema. with both bag and wallet, the term new means just new to myself not literally new, i pretty much by only 2nd hand these days.

a very random lunch or dinner. whats up with the camera blur lately?

bought a new office chair. i spend so much time sitting on it i figured i should get one thats more comfy. surprisingly, IKEA's selection looked poor and pricy so i got this off amazon.

a pair of my shoes both broke last week (bottom), at the same time. the sole just cracked and started coming off. thankfully i made it to where i was going and back...  well, i quickly bought another very similar pair ro replace them, identical heel height and with a buckle.

a new vietnamese opened just behind the corner, on coldharbour lane. me & doctor celebrated this months anniversary there yesterday. the design is nice, kinda hipstery i guess. ALL the meat they use is free range so i got excited and skipped my usual vegeterian choice. 

 random pop brixton shot.

i decided to go to therapy. its something i always thought about here or there but then theres always something - time, money... but i think its time i get my stuff sorted. or try at least. my first session was this week and i think it was pretty good. i feel carefully optimistic.

the 30 degree weather has been good to me. summer summer...

im enjoying the 2nd season of Unforgotten,and Bachelorette