April 29, 2016

im gonna go to bed and read a book!

ive been supposedly really busy lately. i mean, i have. i have less work than usual but im spending a lot of time working on doctors work related papers, putting together excels and stuff. i am very happy that i can be useful, and i actually have to grab tasks from him to do. he seems to think he can do everything...    i guess i like to have some control over things too...  besides his papers, im socializing a lot and was testing this finnish mobile app earlier this week (was fun) ...still, not sure where ALL my time is going. but the result is that i have watched very little tv for the past weeks. when i realize that my list of unwatched episodes is growing, i get a bit annoyed, yet i do prioritize "life" over tv of course... 

looks like a very happy kitty? 

doctor moved his home office from his room to the living room.  so now we are almost side by side. helps when working on his files for his license application. my tea and painting trials also in the pic.

pink french on sparkly white. yeah i like my nails. 

there was a street party by our corner on wednesday. i saw all my friends were going to "kadiköy street party" and wow, it was right by the bar next to us. when people showed up it was all around our flat. people hanging out, drinking beer and enjoying - np other program as far as i know. and thats cool. we were busy with doctors paperwork so didnt go out and join, but since this was right outside our window it felt almost like we were out there. nice event, anyways. the noise was less fun when we went to bed but thats why earplugs are invented.

Kasparov still has it! playing blitz with So, Nakamura and Caruana.

back terrace of ArkaOda...  always busy on weekends.
tomorrow we are going for a dinner with doctors supervisor and his wife.

i was supposed to meet Gönül this week but she got called to work, which takes her out of the country for months at a time. sooooo, was great to meet and all...  that was short. we will have time to meet when she returns, though, before i move.

April 28, 2016


i saw an utterly useless artsy film last week. Queen of Earth. i could tell the main actress did a great job, she was believable and all, but the film itself was like Lynch & something. didnt understand anything, mentally dropped out halfway through.

ive been low key otherwise, work front is quiet and im avoiding social gatherings to some extent. did see Hanna on wednesday though, for our onthly "one on one". and went to Jenney's birthday party on friday. where i met Gönül, whom i really hit it off with and we met today for coffee. she is also the first person ever (as far as i can remember) who point blank asked me about my orientation. of course its not something you need to know about everyone, but people also assume. it was just nice for someone to not assume.

so last week the world lost His Purple Majesty. im not too affected by celebrity deaths, even if i enjoyed their life's work. and Prince was not on my top10 of artists i love, so im not sure why i even mentioned it. i guess i found some of the articles about him interesting. same with Bowie. but hey Prince was the same height as me (157cm/5´2") ! :)

NYTimes: Anohni - embracing a new name, new sound (artist previously known as Anthony Hegarty)
Guardian: Love in the age of living for ever
Atlantic: Prince was a gay icon whether he liked it or not
Atlantic: the diseases you get only if you believe in them  this one was interesting. because culture and the effect of your own belief go far in illness and cure, i like to read about this topic.  its suggested that PMS could be a product of western culture. i don't have a strong opinion, but i do feel like its been blown out of proportion. i mean its become this running joke that you see in movies or wherever, when a woman is angry someone will refer to PMS. women themselves do it too, "i was really crazy last weekend, irrational and trying to pick a fight...it must've been PMS". i think thats 'PMSplaining'. okay maybe its not always harmful, and indeed PMS can be as real as you believe. i personally don't think i have PMS symptoms so it's good to know i probably never will :D i also believe in the "loop" effect mentioned in the article, and that in the simplest form of it, people who generally believe they are healthy or ill, are on average, more healthy or ill (= FEEL as such). im not saying you can imagine your cancer away, or allergy even, but im thinking in averages, big numbers.

whats interesting for me is that Atlantic changed the article URL's at some point to be more like keywords...instead of just the name of the article. makes perfect sense SEO wise. eg. this article i read: 
Guardian: Cillian Murphy turning 40  the URL is http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/apr/23/cillian-murphy-peaky-blinders-batman-scarecrow-tom-lamont

a week ago i got inspired by one article about Monica Lewinsky, and that lead me to reading reveral. she came across as smart and likeable, and i was really happy to see her doing well. plus, she looks great - good for her :) i remember the "Blowgate" in the 90s and i was not liking how it exploded the way it did. president or not, infedelity occurs sometimes - has nothing to do with how he can do his job. and sleeping with the president or not, she was just a woman, who, well, slept with someone (who was married).

Guardian: Monica Lewisnky: The shame sticks to you like tar
Vanity Fair: Shame and Survival (by Monica)
Guardian: Hillary, Bill and Me - growing up in the shadow of Monica Lewinsky
Guardian: Monica Lewinsky wasn't betrayed by feminism
 (a lot of Guardian? overall, i seem to read it a LOT lately. i liked their FB page and now see the articles recommended in my newsfeed and shit it's addictive, lot of good articles... hard not to read)

April 16, 2016

promptly disappointed

so the cinnamon & clove tea was, maybe not surprisingly to anyone but me, kind of a disappointment. it smelled like mulled wine but delivered a watery...nothing. maybe because the smell was so misleading.

so i wanted to try yet another tea. orange flower.

then i read that tea, too, stains teeth. jesus christ, is there anything that doesnt?? im not trying to be perfect or a live life perfectly as that would be the antidote of living, but i am trying to find a middle ground. i dont need my teeth getting any yellower, im only 36. and whitening treatments are expensive. i shall try the at-home ones at some point.

orange flower was disappointing too, which is kind of what a part of me was hoping. because it was in those weird cubic tea bags that i remember being advertised in Finland maybe...8 or 10 years ago? and i remember thinking "what the F...  thats ridiculous". and thats what i thought again, when i saw the package on the shelf in the market. but orange flower sounded interesting so i decided to focus on that. all the while hoping that the marketing guys at Lipton arent going "yeaaaaah, that pyramid bag is killing it! lets make more!". cos no, its not, its just the orange flowerand probably other interesting or rare tastes that no one else has! although what do i know, if its been in the market for 10 or something years i guess something in it is working for people, and it may not be only orange flower :/  well, i try not to think about it. but so im kinda glad i wont be supporting the pyramid scheme tea bag design any more than i have (5,30tl/1,70 eur).

what ive read:
Caravaggio in Toulouse attic possibly fake (dont know who the F Caravaggio is, but i still liked reading!)
HuffPost: I am NOT cisgengered (didnt maybe read every word of this, but this whole cis/trans LGBTQUIYRSÖ discussion is sometimes interesting to follow)
Gizmodo: Facebook employees asked Mark Zuckerberk if they should try to prevent a Donald Trump presidency (nothing new here actually but still a nice read)

April 13, 2016

so, tea...

im feeling lazy and tired these days, but im not sure if its boredom or what. and something weird by my standards: im drinking tea in increasing amounts. first it was just the ginger tea i made  by myself with fresh ginger. then doctor made tea and offered me and although i am not a fan of sage (at least the smell), i agreed. and today i volunteerily made some myself :S maybe its just a phase. i went to the market and bought myself some cinnamon & clove tea...  i will give it a try. small investment. feels really odd though - am i really gonna start liking tea after 36 yrs of not liking it? i shall see.

i was out last friday and saturday, meeting friends. good times. better enjoy them while they last. anyway, on sunday one of the people i met on friday told me they got a hangover & stomach bug combo from that night that made them really ill all saturday. then i was chatting with one of the people i met saturday night and she asked me how my tummy was cos hers was not feeling so good, and we too had been eating the same food. then i talked to yet another friend who asked me if i can eat rye bread daily, cos her stomach is so sensitive it gets irritated from eating it - wtf? these convos just reminded me how lucky i am in that this just does not happen to me. i can eat anything and everything, there are no consequences. adding that to the fact that i dont get a proper flu or anything that would put me in bed, sick, i am truly fortunate.  on the flip side though, my nose is runny this very moment, allergy or whatever...  anything could set my nose off. i guess everyone has a weakness...

i have a thing with buckles...i think? i was able to eliminate one of these 4 pairs, need to sell  or throw away. 

im already quite confused with cooking and food item terminology in all the languages i know, not sure if this english cooking wiki makes things better or worse...  at least i could use it for reference?

noticed this behind the curtain in our livingroom.  stuff is just falling apart? lol.

saturday at Carilyn's. spaghetti and garlic bread. 

 spring look on my nails!

April 08, 2016

Letgo - cute but struggling

somehow i came across an app called Letgo (maybe featured in app store?). a buy/sell app for your 2nd hand stuff. sounds great but i immediately had a feeling like it might have its problems in turkey especially, but im always open to trying apps. within 10 minutes i'd spotted 3 bugs. what the hell? they couldnt afford testing? no time for fixing anything? its sad cos the app has some cool features, its easy to use and so. functionality and usability wise i can see room for improvement but it is a pretty cool start, the bugs are just quite disappointing.

but moving on. the biggest disappointment of all was that it was littered with professional sellers of course. the local 2nd hand phone shops and whatnot have set up shop in there and overall the quality was poor. oh, well, i cant say its not surprising.

and what was definitely not surprising was that 50minutes after signing up, i was approached by a turkish guy who was more interested in me than the item i was selling. bastard. still gets my blood boiling sometimes.

putting an item for sale is super fast and easy, the UI is user friendly. the settings area and "back room" is rough around the edges, could use some tweaking and additional features, like a profile description - now there is just username and image. "profile description" or whatever you want to call it is useful if you want to give a blanket statements about your location or sales terms. anyway, overall easy to use. for communication the app offers some pre-written replies. i dont benefit from them of course, communicating in turkish, but nice idea. even nicer would be if they offered me to write and save my own replies for quick click & send, but that feature does not exist.

i think for now i will have to stick with the fb groups where its mostly foreigners buying/selling. its a current issue though since i am slowly trying to get rid of a lot of stuff...

April 07, 2016

so what do you unique snowflake like to be referred to as...?

coming from a native language without gender i can understand the need for gender neutral pronouns, although im not super passionate about it. but why cant the people fighting for this cause settle on something?! i dont personally know anyone who wants to be referred to as ze or ne or xe or something, but im just imagining a situation where one of my friends wants to be xe, another ze, another ne and so forth. one pronoun i do NOT like for gender neutral is they/them. i mean...  do i have to explain why?? if i could pick, i'm not sure actually...
ze/zir can be hard to pronounce (esp. internationally)
ze/hir same thing, plus illogical for a layman
ve/ver too close to 'we'
xe/xem another exotic one/will lead to pronounciation issues, although very distinguishable
ney/nem sounds like baby-version of 'they/them'
ey/em as above

yeah i actually don't think i can choose. trying to put those in sentences and think of possible conflicts and accent issues....  maybe i'd go for ve/ver although i dont know how its supposed to be pronounced, but probably follows the logic of "we", so  sounds like "vii" and "vi'r". i could do that.

the back of a bar/restaurant really near our home (Oblomov). i met Hanna there for a lunch a while back.

Atatürk is always around. like in restaurants under your plate...
last saturday i was feeling good, testing a mobile app (with the help of doctor's android). the old nokia is not related to the testing, heh.

our floor is living a life of its own again. i dunno how water from the kitchen got to it, but apparently it did. opening the front door is tough, but it seems like the process has stopped so we're just ignoring it for now...  i eman what is there to do, anyway, i know the landlady does not want to hear about it...

in our bedroom, behind a chest.... lovely. i also saw there is something similar going on behind our wardrobe, but i didnt bother moving and finding out how bad it is. cos sgain, what is there to do anyway. im surprised it took 5 years for this to happen though, better than most flats!

tomorrow im seeing this friend of a friend, Henna. our common friend gave my details to her cos she is coming here for a visit and wants to hang out in kadiköy. i promised to take her out and whatnot. ive been on a pretty healthy diet for the past couple weeks, and back to biking more (stationary bike :) so this will break my streak...im a bit bummed. also cos saturday is a girls night with Cary etc. so two nights in a row!!

April 06, 2016

kodin hengetär pohtii

sekä mikä vituttaa niin (oikeasti näinä päivinä ei ole hirveästi vituttanut, lämmin ja aurinkoinen sää on saanut mut aika euforiseksi, mutta valitetaan nyt jostain...) on se että jossain talvitakinkin pesuohjeessa lukee nykyään että 30 astetta. ei des 40 vaan 30. ihan peruspuuvillainen talvitakki vuorella, ei ole villaa tai silkkiä tai helmiänauhakoristeita...  on se kumma. kaikki vaatteethan on ylipäätään ollu jo vuosikymmenen tai kaksi "40-asteisia", mutta 30-asteisten ja käsinpestävien määrä lisääntyy. joistain käsinpestävistä ei kyllä yhtään tajua miksi ne sitä olisi, ja koneessahan mä kaikki pesenkin. netistä kyllä löytyy asia-artikkelia joissa asiantuntijat kertoo että kaikki pitäisi suurinpiirtein keittää koska muuten ei lika lähde ja bakteerit kuole (huuu! bakteereja!) mutta näissä artikeleissa ei vahingossakaan sivuta sitä tosiasiaa mitä pesuohjeissa lukee. se jätetään vähän niinku omaksi ongelmaksi. jos joku edes toteaisi että tämä on vaan tekstiilivalmistajien tapa olla varma ettei vaate mene pilalle tai kulu liian nopeasti tms (niinkuin luultavasti on), niin olisi musta ok, mutta asiaa ei tosiaan kukaan nosta pöydälle. todetaan vaan sormea heristäen että vähintään 60:ssä pitäs kaikki pestä. voin itse todeta että kyllä mun vaatteet on ihan ok vaikka ne pesen 40:ssä, ei kasva vielä hometta tai haise tai muutenkaan. mutta tuo 30 astetta alkaa jo ärsyttää, ihan sekin takia että se tarkoittaisi että pitää pestä erikseen muista. pesin tuon lääkärin talvitakin 40-asteessa ja sillä siisti, kasassa näyttää vielä olevan.

täällä siis siirrytään kesävarusteisiin pikkuhiljaa ja talvikamppeita pakataan. kun päivälämpötilat alkaa olee 20 ja yön alin 10 tai yli.

hyvä kirjoitus HS:ssa; Neitsyttä vahtiva isä on outo hyypiö. kunniamurha enää puuttuu tuosta niin oltais lähi-idässä.

uusia perunoita (etiketin mukaan)....  jep jep. no jos vihreä ja homeinen on yhtä kuin uusi ni sit.  kuva Migroksesta, joka on "vähän parempi" ruokakauppa. 

jotenkin valahdin aika alas ja katoin suomen Temptation Islandia, kun yksi kaveri sen mainitsi ja kertoi katsoneensa. tsekkasin vuosia sitten jotain jenkkien TI-jaksoa ja totesin et se oli just niin hirveetä roskaa kuin voi kuvitellakin. en pystynyt. en sit tiedä onko maku muuttunut, onko suomen TI:ssä muita piirteitä jotka pitää kiinnostusta yllä vai mikä on, mutta katsoin ekan kauden Ruudusta ja toistakin olen nyt seurannut. tosin olen alkanut jennimäiseen tapaani skippailee osia kun tylsistyttää. mutta se mikä tuosta tuli mieleen niin sarja toki pyörii pariskuntien ympärillä, ymmärrettävästi - kaikessa on kyse siitä että "kestääkö suhde" ja "lankeaako Laura tai Lauri...". enkä nyt siitä sen enempää että milaiset ihmiset ohjelmaan hakee ja miksi, koska whatever. jokainen saa tehdä mitä lystää. mutta tuo sinkkujen osuus mietitytti. sarjaan on toki haettu ihmisiä jotka haluaa pitää hauskaa eikä ole turhan konservatiisia, ja jooilla ei ole ongelmaa flirttailla vararrujen kanssa vaan se on jopa tehtävä. luultavasti heillä on joku päiväkorvaus myös mikä voi kannustaa pysymään mukana jne. mutta sarjassa on vähän se asenne tai ilmapiiri että jos varattuja vaan kiinnostaa niin sinkuilta kyllä irtoaa. onhan siinä ollu joku tilanne että sinkku ei ole lähtenyt riidan jälkeen jo sovitulle deitille tai 'kameroilta piiloon säätämään', mutta noin muuten tuntuu että sarjan oletus sinkkujen 'saatavuudesta' pitää hyvin paikkansa. tosielämässä on jokseenkin epätodennäköistä että sinkku jolle laitetaan eteen 4 tyyppiä, tykkää kaikista neljästä ja haluaa ns. sekoilla jokaisen kanssa vuorotellen eri iltoina. eikä siihen voi pakottaa mutta tuntuu toimivan. hissukammat saakin sitten kenkää. mikä on fair game, sellaiset säännöt kuin millainen ohjelma. yleensähän ne varatut valitsee deittikumppanin ja sitten sinkku hehkuttaa et "joo, odotan kyl innolla, varmaan tullaan hyvin juttuun..." ja mikäs siinä, deiteillä käynti on sellasta yleistä sosialisointia, kyllä se duunista menee. mutta etenkin niissä iltabileissä sinkkujen saatavuus ja aktiivinen 'yrittäminen' tuntuu välillä epätodennäköiseltä jos todellisuuteen vertaa. en ole konservatiivi jonka mielestä ei sais kokeilla useampaa ja vaikka samana päivänä, mutta en siis vaan pidä "tilastollisesti" tuon tason halukkuutta todennäköisenä. ja sarjan kulma onkin se että "lankeaako varatut", jolloin oletusarvo on että on jotain mihin langeta ja sauma pettämiseen. tähän mennessä on ollutkin. tuo siis vaan haiskahtaa vähän prostituutiolta, mikä on ihan asiallinen duuni, mutta sarjahan ei ole "varatut ja prostituoidut" vaan "varatut ja sinkut". musta siis tuntuu että sinkuilta oletaan ja odotetaan käytöstä joka kuulostaa prostituutiolta, ilman että he ovat prostituoituja. kauden lopun 24h-deittienkin 'alaotsikko' oli jotain tyyliin "vielä viimeinen viettelys" tms. eli ultimate-haaste, sortuuko varattu. oletuksena on että sinkun kanssa voi pettää jos sille päälle sattuu. ja se tuntui menevän niin. seuraavana aamuna sinkku pakkaa kamansa ja lähtee himaan koska sen työ on tehty, ja sitten pohditaan suhteen tulevaisuutta varatun osalta ja sen tuntemuksia. no, ei tuossa sen enempää kuin että olin huomaavinani jonkun tuollaisen 'eettisen' epäsynkan.

google feilasi nyt ihan huolella, sain työn puolesta yhden uuden sähköpostitilin tiedot, sinne on salasanan loppuun lisätty hienosti piste. ohan se (kai+9 lauseen loppu. piste siis ei ollut osa salasanaa. wtf? olen pettynyt. 

gmail google account password fail period
mitä olen jo oppinut tällä viikolla:
*suutarini on AKP:n kannattaja ja aika avoin rasisti (suht tavallista turkissa)
*juuresvalikoima turkissa on heikompi kuin suomessa - enkä ole edes asiantuntija
*lääkärin sairaalan päivystyksessä käy vuositasolla vähän vajaa puoli miljoonaa potilasta, lääkäri itse kohtaa ja hoitaa heistä n. 10 000 (nykyään seniorina)
*lasten allerginen nuha ei tutkimusten mukaan parane juurikaan kodin siivousta lisäämällä

April 04, 2016

66 left

i did major wardrobe cleaning today. threw away some clothes  and put others in the "to consider" pile. i also threw away a pair of shoes that was just looking bad, synthetic leather doesnt do well in this humidity i guess. the surface starts cracking etc. i then looked at my shoe shelves and counted. i still have 66 pairs. that means there need to be some serious cutting before the fall. then i remember i just took 3 pairs to the cobbler today. and there is 1 pair waiting for repair. so...thats 70? fucking shit.

The Catch continued being cheesy-mediocre on its 2nd week. i think i will give up on it.

why are boxing matches always held so late? it seems counter-intuitive when we are talking about a sport. who would be on their best performance at 11 or 12pm?! i am not a morning person myself but physical performance at midnight....

its been about a year now since i last bought any clothes or shoes, incl socks etc. minus the wedding dress & shoes. at least as far as i can remember, but im pretty sure. normally it would be a big feat, but i have to say it hasnt been bad. i just have my eye set on the goal: moving. i did see a really cute dress today tho...  thats what reminded me of my shopping ban. i think the spring and summer will be hard. i will be focused on selling/donating a lot of my old clothes while looking at nice summery garments in shop windows...

i should set aside time for blogging just before i sleep, or ability to blog while in the shower, that's when I have some actually meaningful thoughts. by my own standards.

doctor was home again this weekend. rare, and won't be repeated for the next couple months I'm guessing. his next day off is 3 weeks from now. although, if he could arrange one (weekend off) for June it would be nice for going out of the city or something...

the difference between me and doctor is that i can do online courses and quizzes at the speed of light. maybe it depends on the subject, but generally. doctor wants to read everything and get to know the subject, i just attack the quiz part and check for answers if i dont already know them. but i know a lot! this may explain why i graduated with an average of 8,3 (scale 4 to 10) from elementary school, and doctor probably got something slightly better, which led him to med school...  but oh well, im really good at some things!


March 29, 2016

6 years that changed everything

TV: i had been waiting eagerly to watch The Catch. the premise sounded cool. but it was a pretty serious disappointment. not the worst thing ever, but flawed in so many ways. i read (or skimmed through) 5 or 6 different reviews of it, only one of them positive. The Atlantic's review echoes my thoughts most accurately. i would also like to add that the fake lashes on Mireille Enos are too much. of course fake lashes or lash extensions are a standard on tv, hers are just way too long and dense, drawing too much attention.

this monday marked my 6 year anniversary in Istanbul - and with doctor. it still amazes me that i found myself in a relationship the day i moved here. i had met him a month earlier, but i did not expect things to "escalate" quite that fast, if at all. anyway, 6 yrs is a long time...   doctor is away at an emergency medicine meeting thing in Ankara on monday, so we celebrated on saturday instead. we simply went out for dinner and drinks and then relaxed at home, watching tv. cute enough for me. i guess we are not very inventive or adventurous.

anniversary dinner at Thales
 some restaurants have started to have "diet" options. i dont think there were any when i moved 6 years ago, but in the past 3-4 years i have seen it on 3-5 menus. but i say "diet" because it usually means red meat switched to white, and added cheese. This menu goes a step further and someone has "counted" the calories. sure enough i have not seen the portions but i am very skeptical...  the first portion is with salmon file, greens and mash potato. 100gr of salmon is 146 calories, i would assume that's the minimum they would put on the plate. again, i cannot be sure, but i doubt the mashed potato is a without plenty of salt and butter...   the other foods are the same - maybe not impossible to reach the calorie stated, but in a turkish restaurant with a standard portion....no. ok why am i whining? i just dislike inaccuracies.

last week doctor got his family permit for UK. took 5 or 6 business days as it should. finally that (first) nightmare is over at least. so our holiday in may is set and we can be stress free about it. for moving in october, we will have to apply again i guess. but i try not to get ahead of myself and start stressing just yet (easier said than done). meanwhile, we just focus on his specialist license application for UK. that's enough work as it is.

how turkish restaurants clean before closing. good job. i am not saying this is a problem though, its not, at all. just an observation :)

March 21, 2016

enjoying sporadically

TV  lately im trying to understand why i am resorting to reading episode recaps instead of watching the show itself. it would maybe make sense if youre not interested in a movie or a show, but you have a reason to be curious about the overall storyline, or something. but for a great tv show that you claim to love - why? ive done it twice this week big time. i read recaps for The Good Wife's season 7, and all of House of Cards season 3 and 4. i feel like a bad person. for the latter show especially. i love Claire. so why why why...  i have a collection of shaky excuses that im weighing but i dont know what its really about. ok maybe The Good Wife got a bit repetitive and boring after whats-his-name died, because that relationship and slow burn was essential to the series. and when Claire and Frank's relationship started showing cracks i think i was turned off a bit. i just cant see them being anything but a great team. yeah i know they worked things out but its too late now. also by reading the recaps i learned that Claire lost her self control on a few occasions. i think that was to make her more human but i was not happy at all. back to Good Wife, upon the introduction of Jason, i did google video clips of the crucial moment and i like what im seeing. but i think once you resort to reading, you dont go back to watching. as sad as it is.

    but then, i went on and binge watched british detective shows for about 6 hours last night. 2 episodes of Vera and 6 episodes of The Fall (might have fast forwarded a bit...). later i read reviews on The Fall and only then learned that the annoyingly sexy killer (like, to the point where u feel uncomfortable and embarrassed cos youre not supposed to feel that way) is the pathetic enterpreneur from 50 shades of grey. i didnt watch the movie any more than i read the book but i saw the trailer twice and remember distinctly thinking "oh please...not impressed." and it seems the only difference is the beard?? seems to make a huge difference! now i need to actively forget the whole Christian Grey thing before season 3 starts...

    i like my painting the way i like my cooking - ready in 15 minutes or less. makes me think though, combined with all the multitasking, fast forwarding and overall short attention span...  how do i ever get things done.

    my sunday project; "Bunny in the Dark". nice glossy black. 

    Guardian on Caitlyn Jenner and equality...  well said.

    my facebook feed is increasingly full of panic and fear mongering. its mainly people in the foreigner groups im a member of, although some turkish friends are dwelling in fear too. the posts are all
    "there is a rumor about XYZ in [district, area], please be careful and avoid the area!"
    "i feel so depressed, i dont want to go outside, anything could happen..."
    "i just heard a loud bang on x street/district, does anyone know what it was???"
    "my friend was going to come here next month, i guess she should cancel??"

    what this fear has done though is solve the traffic problem, the roads (especially the bottleneck-y first bosphorus bridge) seem clear most of the time (real time traffic apps say so). and you can find a seat in the bus, i hear. in kadiköy things look normal to me. if there is a change i dont notice it.

    quite an unappealing photo of something that tasted good. it was so dark i resorted to flash -  getting off the couch to turn on the lights was harder in comparison. salmon (with lemon pepper) and boiled cauliflower with spring onion. and tsatsiki-type of sauce on top.  i mightve boiled potatoes if we had some.

    out of spotifys weekly playlist for me, this is definitely one of my favorites;
    Matt Corby: Runaway (spotify) (youtube)

    March 20, 2016

    ive been 36 for a week now :)

    ive realized lately i only have so much time and energy. when doctor and his visa process, or whatever, takes priority, then  dont really have as much time for other relationships. i still see friends but i clearly start cutting down on things.

    i didnt feel like partying, i did want nachos on my birthday. and gummy bears. and thats what i got. Hanna and Carilyn also came over, and Hanna's hubby later. but so we had a chill evening. 
    i asked for no gifts for my birthday but this week i met Carina for a glass of wine and she gave me this hand cream. shed even checked that the company should not be testing on animals, thats sweet!
    i recently got a LinkedIn message from a headhunter, there was a 6 month job in ireland that fit my profile, and in a company that i certainly would not mind working for. but in this situation, right now, if i want to stick with my original plans and goals, it just didnt fit...  so i had to turn it down. yesterday a friend suggested that i was an idiot for doing that, she thought i could have my cake and eat it too, but i dont know. doesnt make sense to dwell in it now, but i am asking myself for the reasons i really thought it was impossible. maybe "blaming" the circumstances isnt right, like how hard it woulde been to have my full time and part time job side by side, etc., i just wasnt ready to leave Istanbul yet, and thats all? but it made me hopeful that there are job opportunities 'out there' there that suite me really well.

    must be hard to be the son or daughter (well lets face it, especially the son) of someone very revolutionary. or someone very talented. i just saw an article headline about the son of Che Guevara and went like "uuuuuuh...", cringing.  doesnt mater what i though of him or the headline, it was just..."well good luck with to you...".

    plagues of the Roman Empire
    famous women on not having children - Kim Catrall's "i have a headache" is pretty good

    the papers submitted with the visa (family permit) application. list of attachments on the left. doctor says they were impressed with how organised it all was. well, thats how i roll!

    i was out with a turkish female friend night, Z. went to a few bars, including this new one called Beyrut, on our street. its been there for a few weeks, was about time i check it out!

    the front which opens to the street (classic istanbul bar, see heater on the ceiling)
     ...and the back/the bar.
     nice place, normal prices (wine glass 15tl/5e).

    my all time favorite female detectives (in no order):
    Angie Flynn
    Olivia Benson
    Sarah Linden
    Brenda Leigh Johnson
    Stella Gibson
    Vera Stanhope
    Saga Norén
     (unfortunately although ive watched CSI and Criminal Minds through and through, they didnt really offer any "meaningful" characters)

    March 17, 2016

    prioritizing tasks

    daylight savings time: couldnt care less
    US presidential elections: i read, but couldnt care less
    terrorism threat in istanbul (german consulate closed, rumours circulating...): couldnt care less
    kitchen floor flooding: couldnt care less

    while chess Candidates games in Moscow (live broadcasts :P) are going on, this article offers insight into the messy history of the "Candidates".

    i just watched this episode of Ink Master Redemption (s02e03) in which a client was verbally nasty to a female tattoo artist, so she decided to throw a punch at him. a short fight ensued, nobody got hurt, but what bothered me is that afterwards it was not addressed that she was the one who got physical first. dave navarro asked her several times if SHE is ok, if she was hurt, etc. and with the guy being bigger and probably way stronger, her chances of getting hurt were higher, but since when do you just brush off the initial attack? also she was disrespectful to the client, and dave navarro chose to just avoid the whole topic and the bad tattoo, and let her bitch about the client being an ass. im disappointed!

    i found myself listening to jazz again. what the f...  not the antsy type of stuff, more like easy movie jazz...  (spotify's coffee table jazz playlist). but this is ok, i dont have any rules about what is okay to listen, im just so surprised. times change, people change...  i think im attracted to the calming, soothing effect of the music. i am anxious enough, i dont need a hard beat to rile me, just the opposite (but i still want my caffein).

    March 16, 2016

    tääl on takatalvi ja se on painostavaa

    Bachelor Suomi (eikö tää ollu viel 2009 Unelmien Poikamies? uusi nimi tietysti vähemmän suomalainen mut niin se maailma muuttuu, ja tämä sopii paremmin formaattiin) alkoi eilen. olin positiivisesti ylättynyt sitä sinkkumiehestä suomalaiset on usein sellasia aika valjuja, tässä miehessä oli ihan karismaa. toki ehdin jo av-palstalta lukemaan että tyypillä on suurinpiirtein avioerot vielä vaiheessa ja ties mitä, mutta ken tietää onko se totta, eikä se nyt mua niin kosketakaan. formaatin suomalaisversion seuraamisessa on ihan tarpeeks viihdettä. vähän ujoja suomalaisia, pönötystä ja vähän myötähäpeää, siitä se on suomalainen reality tehty. mutta mukana oli jotain kivan ja herttaisen oloisia naisia. sit oli sellaisia, jotka ei ainakaan ensinäkemältä yhtään ole uskoakseni tuon kyseisen miehen makuun (koska alternative), ja mietin miksi ne on otettu mukaan, eikö hakijoita ollut tarpeeksi vai onko pitänyt väkisin tehdä joukosta "värikkäämpää".  no nämä joiden mukana olemista eniten ihmettelin tippuikin sitten. tuo jakso oli hyvä päätös eiliselle, kun jenkkikauden päätösjakson näin päivällä ja alkuillasta uuden seelannin viimeisimmän jakson. tiistaista on tullut Bachelor/ette päivä...  hupinsa kullakin...

    Rosa Meriläinen kirjoitti naisten ja miesten vessoista hesarin kolumnissaan. pointteja oli hyviä tietty, ja jos sukupuolineutraaleja vessoja luodaan niin käyn kuuliaisesti niissä sitten. kuten Rosa niin minäkin olen joskus eksynyt miesten puolelle jos se on ollut tyhjä tai ilman jonoa. se mistä olen eri mieltä on että miehet ei oikeasti olis nopeampia. Rosa laski tämän pisuaarien määrän piikkiin. mutta jos festareillakin katsot kun mies menee sellaseen ovelliseen vessaan samaan aikaan ku nainen, ni kyl se mies tulee sieltä useammin ekana ulos. ehkä tuo johtuu ihan sellasesta luonnollisesta jututsta kun et on nopeampaa avaa vetskari kun vetää mekooja/sukkiksia jne alas ja ylös. pointtini on kuitenkin että miehet on nopeampia, olen tätä asiaa hieman aikaobsessoituneena seuranut ja olen varma asiasta. se, miksi olen itse hieman nihkeä sukupuolineutraaleista vessoista on aika itsekästä, eli miesten vessat on yleensä likaisempia - siis ihan se kun ei osata tähdätä. ja tiedän tämän luonnollisesti siksi että joskus olen eksynyt sinne miesten puolelle. turkissa ei pisuaareja harrastetaja joten miesten ja naisten vessaa voi verrata helposti vierekkäin. toinen niistä ON siistimpi ainakin mitä siihen muovirenkaaseen tulee. mutta menen lauman mukana ja (yleensä) siihen vessaan mihin käsketään.

    miehen uusi "perheviisumi" hakemus britteihin on nyt jätetty. sen käsittelyssä menee se viikko tai pari luultavasti. tai pitäs mennä. just luin jostain tyypistä jonka hakemusta oli käsitelty "laittomat" 45 päivää jona aikana sen loma tuli ja meni. varmaan ihan sattumaa, kun EEA FP hakemuksista on tiukka ohjeistus että ne pitää käsitellä nopeasti, yleensä 5-8 työpäivää. anyway, pari viikkoa meni hikoillessa kaiken maailman paperien kanssa... välillä ei tiennyt itkiskö vai nauraisko. ja nyt vaikka on kuva-albumia ja email-logeja näyttää niin nihkeyksissään voivat kai valittaa siitä etten toimittanut tiliotteita (vaikkei ne tietenkään ole pakollisia niinkuin ei ollut mikään muukaan...). niiden käännättäminen olisi maksanut mansikoita, en ihan vielä ollu valmis tuplaamaan koko hemmetin loman budjettia - se on suomalaisen vaikea käsittää että yhtäkkiä pitää esitellä tilitapahtumia viranomaisille että pääsis viikoks miehen kaa britteihin. vaikka oikeesti jos se olis vaan hakenut turistiviisumia niinku ainakin ennenkin... mutta minä olin sitä mieltä että prkl, nyt kun ollaan niin tuomarin edessä menty allekirjoittaa yhteiskunnan hyväksymä parisuhdesopimus niin mennään se edellä, ja asetetaan myös samalla "precedent" tulevia muuttoaikeita varten...  kun oliskin arvannu mikä soppa tästä tulee.

    mä otin tuon viisumiprojektin omalle kontolleni pääasiassa, ni lääkäri sai jatkaa omaa lisenssihakemusprojektiaan, vaikka toki mulla on siinäkin ollut sormeni pelissä. mutta nyt voidaan paneutua taas siihen harrastukseen täysin. sanonpa vaan että yllättävän monimutkaista, en olisi odottanut. niillä on UK:ssa niin omat juttunsa. suomalaiset ei ole byrokratiaa nähneetkään.

    March 10, 2016

    kahden maan naisia

    Blogi Ulkosuomalaisen äidin merkintöjä kirjoitti naistenpäivänä hyvän vertailun suomalaisten ja turkkilaisten naisten eroista. toki kaikki ei päde kaikkiin, mutta ihan hyvin voi nuo stereotypiaerot listata :) itse voisin lisää noihin vielä että luokkayhteiskunta näkyy hyvin muutenkin siinä, miten naiset ostaa vaatteita tai palveluita ja esittää itsensä. jos vaan varaa on, ja vaikkei olisikaan, niin kampaamossa laitatetaan ja föönautetaan hiuksia tämän tästä - suomalaiselle föönauksesta maksaminen tuntuu helposti vieraalta kun tuntuu että sen osaa itsekin, eihän se yhtä muhkea ole se tukka sitten mutta.... itse en harrasta fööniä ollenkaan mutta mitä olen seurannut. ja turkkilaisella pitää tärkeisiin tilaisuuksiin mennessä olla kaikki korulaatikosta löytyvä kulta ranteissa jotta näkyy että varoja on, suomalainen laittaa sen äidiltä saadun helmiriipuksen ja Iittala-korvikset - vähempi parempi. turkkinaiselle "liikaa meikkiä" on tuntematon käsite, eli sitä levitetään aika reippaasti värejä säästelemättä (and nothing wrong with that!). silmääni onkin pistänyt ns. reverse-panda eye, eli että joo rajauksia ja muuta tummaa on kovalla kädellä, mutta sitten silmien alla on niin paljon jotain "valoa heijastavaa" sekä liian vaaleaa peitevoidetta, että siinä on valkoiset puolirinkulat. anyway, siinä suomalainen (jopa minä), on usein aika vaatimattoman näköinen paikallisen vierellä. tästä yleistyksestä pitää sanoa että riippuu toki niin paljon missä piireissä liikkuu myös, omassa turkki-tuttavapiirissä on 'euroopalaishenkisiä' opiskelijoita, hippejä, rekkiksiä tai muuten vaan naisia jotka ei haluakaan sopeutua perinteisen turkkilaisen naisen rooliin ja jättää meikin vähemmälle tai kokonaan pois. tosin sama, yleinen, naistyyppi joka meikkaa reippaammin niin relaa tuon asian suhteen kunhan on päässyt naimisiin, tai 5-10 vuotta sen jälkeen eli joskus neljäkymppisenä, kun on 2-3 lasta ja rooli äidillisempi. tuo on toki varmaan universaalia mutta tuntuu korostuvan täällä.

    kuten tuossa blogissakin mainittiin, suominainen on usein säästeliäs, kun turkitar vinguttaa korttia. turkkilaiset sukupuolesta riippumatta ei muutenkaan IKINÄ sano "katotaanko joku ei-niin-kallis rafla...", tai "yövytään varmaan bed & breakfastissa reissussa, budjettimatka kun on". suomalaiselle ei ole mikään häpeä tai outous sanoa et joo yritetään säästää, tai että ostin edullisemman järkisyistä tai et niin miksei ostettu sitä isompaa autoa? no kun se oli niin kallis! toki mä oon ehkä joskus ekstrapihi mutta lääkäri on monta kertaa huomauttanut myöhemmin et huomasitko kuinka ne katto oudosti kun tilitit meidän säästämisestä, et rajota vähän...:D lääkärikään ei ole tyypillisen turkkilainen status-leveilijä vaan enempi suomalaisen vaatimaton, mutta turkissa ei ikinä pitäs antaa ymmärtää etteikö olis rahaa johonki. mulle aivan sama, mutta yritän ottaa opikseni, ehkä se on yhtä lailla mautonta kuin jos joku suomessa sanoisi et "piti ostaa se parempi malli kun kerran käteista piisaa!" tai "miellään talon kalleinta viiniä, kiitos"? yritän ajatella sillee.

    turkkinainen joutuu tietty kans miettii siveyttään, riippuen paljolti siitä missä asuu, ketä on naapurit ja millainen perhe. ylipäätään perheen mielipide vaikuttaa paljon siihen, mitä voi tehdä. nämä liberaalit, itsenäiset kaksfemmat jotka asuu yksin ja seukkaa kenen kanssa lystää on harvassa. tai ehkä voivat tehdä sitä salassa, jos perhe asuu kaukana, näitäkin tiedän. sitten suominainen tulee ja tekee mitä lystää ja vähintäänkin naapurit ajattelee että olet 'yleinen nainen'. ja facebook-viestien perusteella suuri osa turkkilaisista miehistä olettaa myös. mutta tätähän Melisankin dokumentti (Isän tyttö) vähän käsitteli. keskivertoturkkinainen (pitää muistaa että se keskiverto asuu jossain pikkukaupungissa keskellä maata) yrittää pysyä neitsyenä avioliittoon asti, ja moni joka jotain ehtii ennen avioliittoa säätää, pitää sen salaisuutena tai vähättelee historiaansa mahdollisille kosijalle. suomessakin varmaan ollut normi ei-niin-kauan-sitten. ja tuskin nytkään kukaan mainostaa ensitreffeillä edellisten kumppaneiden määrää, mutta ei se ainakaan yleensä mikään häpeä ole että niitä on ollut tai ettei ole tullut laskettua... 

    näihin naistenpäivän ajatuksiin, vähän myöhässä...:) 

    March 08, 2016

    we like carbs in our family

    me just hanging out watching telly and internetting. up 8 beats/m from when i woke up 2.5h ago. going steady? :)
    our sushi session on sunday went pretty well. in the end we were all stuffed and there were a couple of leftover pieces too. we were 3 couples, i guess we have entered the adult-stage in our life, organizing couples get togethers...      we had great discussions on too, on politics, the effect of Gezi - or lack of it, atheism (which almost all of our were) and gay rights, yoga and womens education. why am i listing things we talked about? at the time it felt important, on sunday evening i mean. as i was really enjoying everything, i just thought about the great convo topics and how it was somehow meaningful...supposedly. a few glasses of wine make a lot of things meaningful though :D

    doctor wanted to try liver sushi... i tried to criticize him, but he said that Edison was also laughed at before the invented the light bulb..

    this here is a large tray with 2 layers of sushi...

    this is a quick pasta last night with leftover surimi (and tuna and corn and cream...)

    ive taken pride in not buying anything for almost a year now. but i had a weak moment yesterday and impulsively picked up these 3 rings (13tl/4eur). they are a bit much altogether though.

    on the negative side
    • i have horrible cramps for the past 15min, apparently it is that time of the month...waiting for the pain killers to kick in. or at least ease things a bit. 
    on the positive side;
    • New Zealand's The Bachelor season 2 started - first time watching TB NZ for me
    • i am done with most of the family permit application work, now its mostly printing, copying and getting things translated as they arrive in mail
    • i have nothing scheduled today, besides some work stuff - so i can enjoy some tv time and relax
    • the painkiller DID kick in so i just emptied AND filled the dishwasher (something doctor usually does but i was feeling energetic and relieved)
    • today is sunny and warm-ish (16c)

    March 07, 2016

    eating pork in istanbul...


    Mangerie - Bebek  -  eggs benedict and bruschettas with bacon and prosciutto
    Mis Pizza  -  Cihangir, Sishane  -  prosciutto pizzas
    SeoulSultanahmet - various korean dishes
    Eat Box - Beşiktaş -  burger
    Mezzaluna - Nisantasi, Suada - various pizzas
    Papermoon - Levent- various pizzas
    Unter - Karaköy - starters, sandwhich, burger
    Hard Rock Cafe -  Taksim  -  burgers Don Pietro -  Cihangir -  several pizza options
    Kırıntı - Nişantaşi  - serves pork ribs, carbonara and other dishes
    Mamas&Papas - Karaköy -  pizza with bacon
    Pizzeria Trio - Taksimpizza options with prosciutto & chorizo
    Carluccios - Nisantasi - Eggs Benedict
    Eataly - Zorlu (shopping mall) - prosciutto in italian dishes
    Piola - Taksim/Point Hotel - various pizzas
    The Upper Crust - Besiktas, Bebek -
    bacon, prosciutto in appetizers, pizzas

    Mia mensa - Kurucesme - various meals, pizza's
    Gina - Kanyon (shopping mall)  - antipasti, pizza
    Pizano - Ortakoy - prosciutto pizzas
    49 Çukurcuma - Cihangir - pizza
    Delicatessen - Nisantasi - eggs benedict  
    Nar Cafe - Rumeli Fortress - bacon, sausages in dishes 
    400 derece pizza - Nisantasi - various pizzas
    Karakoy lokantası - Karaköy - pork chops 

    Bafetto -  Caddebostan  -  pizzas with prosciutto 
    OD46 (cafe) - Kadikoy - bacon crepes 
    180° Coffee Bakery - Kadıköy - eggs benedict, bacon egg and cheese muffins
    Vapiano -  Suadiye - pizza
    Pizza Bar - Kadikoy - bacon pizza 
    Zeplin (bar) - Kadikoy - Bacon burger,  pork sausage, some starters 
    Bubada - Kadiköy - sandwiches 
    Tarantula - Kadikoy - sausages

    surprisingly many Istanbul restaurants have pork meat, and perhaps because many of these cater to tourists and upper class, they have websites with menus visible. on the menus, items with pork are usually marked with a red asterix or a small pork character...

    but its lovely to see there is prosciutto, ham, bacon and sausages available. Italian restaurants really shone, they are well represented when it comes to pork here... they are apparently not willing to make adjustments to great classic dishes that contain pork.

    a lot of these places have facebook pages too, review pages on TripAdvisor etc., but im old schools - if they have a  website, thats what i link to.