September 20, 2020

preparing for a hermitic winter

some new podcasts or podcast episodes i like (all links are spotify)

The Jordan Harbinger Show: Garry Kasparov

 Wondery: Over My Dead Body

Wondery: The Shrink Next Door 


a friend of mine (not very close) has had cancer for over a year now. its in a pretty bad stage at this point. it hit me to begin with cos we are around the same age, but during covid ive been feeling extra sad as she had to shield obviously, but now that she has been in the hospital shes just there all alone. no visitors allowed. and to know shes in a really bad condition and her parents nor close friends cant visit her, it just must be horrible. my covid issues are pretty small in comparison.
related thoughtful writing;
Guardian:  At 31, I have just weeks to live. Here's what I want to pass on (Elliot Dallen)

im submitting to getting a bigger pot for Gary the plant, it just needs to look nice on the window sill, thats all.

i finished the bloody Starry Night puzzle, but it was painful. i kept thinking maybe its good that i actually carry on with something and dont give up when its hard. maybe people are supposed to enjoy puzzles when they are harder? maybe im just always taking the easy route? whatever, the next one will be easy, thats for sure. instant gratification.  it is something i bought to make doctor smile too (hopefully), a hospital themed  one. i do the puzzles 98% but occasionally he stops over to help a bit, maybe more with this one. 

the dentists have started opening their practises and i booked a time for a checkup - which i skipped last year so lets see how bad things are now. i got an email with information on how they now function with covid around, to cancel if this or that or whatever, plus a patient form that im sure ive filled when i originally went to them. below are the first 2, the patient form is just asking about medications, allergies, allergies to anesthetics, whether i bruise easily, whether anyone in my family has diabetes, and so forth. it also asks for the and and contact details  of 'my doctor'. im pretty sure im not the only one who is just signed up to a GP practise and has no idea who their assigned GP officially is?! when you sign up, you don't get a letter saying "this is your doctor", im not sure how you're supposed to find out, and i guess its just cos it doesnt matter anymore. you book appointments with whoever you want. so they should just ask for GP practise name, as that's something everyone must have. very small thing, but it sounded so archaic and removed from today's reality that it got me annoyed. 

we met Can & Burcu at a polish restaurant earlier this week. i was a bit skeptical but it was pretty nice, tasty dumplings and all. obviously not ideal for vegans or vegetarians, it seems polish cuisine is meat heavy, but interesting drinks and all. we were celebrating Burcu's new job too. 

corona is so much worse here than it has been in finland. i keep watching finnish tv shows like what, they shot this last summer?! the people are sittng so close to each other, what is this? but it just wasnt such a big deal there. of course the media has been all over it, but then you look at the numbers and the reality and it's just... lucky bastards. also well handled, obviously! probably more that than luck, but whatever.  and now they are screaming over a second wave, then there is like 25-80 new cases per day. better start screaming too early rather than too late of course, but from my perspective right now it seems a bit exaggerated. abd then as cases are rising in europe as well as finland, finland is finding ways to OPEN the borders. which does make sense tbh, lets be honest tourism and business travel kind of has to continue...   i hope i get to go this winter, but UK itself looks like it's headed towards tough times again. the number of infections is almost as high as in the spring, howevr i dont think its fair to compare the numbers as in the spring so very few people were tested. only the really ill ons in the hospitals, really. so that was the iceberb, back then. now, although the track & trace is failing miserably, they are testing almost everyone who thinks of asking it and wants to go to a test center. so i have no idea where we really are in terms of comparison. but doctor says he can see there is a change, yesterday 3 covid patients during his 9h shift. compared to maybe 1 per shift in the past week or two, and zero before that for a couple of months. our area is not at the center of the epidemic at the moment though. media is saying politicians are discussiona second nationwide lockdown, if the local lockdowns don't do the job. but i have trouble believing they would do that. i just dont think the economy can take it, and while people just look at the numbers and sort of reasonably scream for hard actions, there all kinds of other numbers that actually, infortunately, need to be considerd. many of them estimations. economy suffering means people suffering, essentially. how many more poor will we have 6 or 12 months from now due to covid measures and lockdowns? how many is acceptable? how many more people will have died from cancers and other potentially curable illnesses cos they couldn't get treatment sooner due to covid measures? when GP's handle most patients over the phone, i'm gonna make a bold claim that it will show in some numbers somewhere. two GP friends i spoke to recently, while saying the phone consultations are going quite smoothly actually, admited that there will be negative consequences. anyway. we have been hoping to get out of town with doctor next weekend, kind of friday eve to monday sort of thing, but i dont want us to book anything before earliest thursday, cos we just dont know whats happening. i do think there will be more rules and restrictions again. i am meeting Anni for a dinner tomorrow and after that i have not set any other plans, i have a feeling in the next week there will be some changes. and now that ive had a nice, social summer, im kind of ready to stay indoors again to a big extent.

September 13, 2020

indian summer next week

i took a bath tonight. rare, but i had a back ache and needed to chill. doctor was sleeping as he is doing nights atm, so i just closed the bathroom door beind me and used one of those Lush bathbombs which totally failed me, and laid in the hot water listening to a finnish audio book (Antti Holma: Kaikki Elämästä(ni)). i took a glass of wine with me but kind of forgot about it, thats pretty remarkable.  

on a past saturday, i felt very adult, almost middle aged.  i found us sitting in the living room at noon, not hungover (not that that's the case every saturday anyway, but just to underline), me working on a puzzle and doctor reading the news and classical music playing in the background. only tea was missing. the music was doctors choice. he has such a varied taste in music and has these well curated playlists in spotify, i let him generally be in charge of music. classical was a surprise nevertheless. but the next minute it could be traditional iranian music, then finnish tango, then 70s psychedelic rock...   u just never know what is playing next. but i tend to like it. his "original" favourite genre is metal though and that i dont want anywhere near me.

that reaction video of the two young boys/guys listening to a Phil Collins In the Air Tonight actually makes me LOL - genuinely laugh out loud. or made some kind of sounds that resemble laughter, but because youre alone just staring at you screen it doesnt come out the same as normal 'public' laughter. but that video is gold. 

 wow i just saw there is a tv show called Lego Masters. actually "Lego Masters Australia" but i assume its a concept adopted from elsewhere. definitely something to watch although i dont build lego myself, i certainly enjoyed it as a child and think it looks cool. kind of like chess, i admit i dont really play it, but definitely follow. on friday there was a super interesting match between Kasparov and Carlsen, and it was a DRAW! i have so much respect for both, but especially Kasparov because he is older and not an active player, plus he spends so much time writing and commenting on politics its hard to understand how he can still play at that level. the other chess games this weekend have been interesting too, many of the top names are the, playing online from their homes. its a bit overwhelming though, how many interesting things there are in the world, and how little time. like at any given moment, there are so many things i need to choose between. usually things flow naturally, i have certain things for relaxing, certain things i just do every morning... but even so, its often a hard choice. do i watch Voice of Finland or read a long article on Michele Obama, or read a book on the sofa - or continue working on my puzzle while listening to a true crime podcast? jesus, life's just confusing. and all those decisions lead us towards a slightly different paths. 

our experience with the sunflowe was so interesting i googled for fast growing plants and here is: Gary. however, Gary's not impressing me yet, we've had him over a week and he's not grown much. maybe it needs a bigger just not too interested in all that technical real plant caring...

i did this easy fun 'booze cruise' puzzle in a few (5?) days, after which i felt like i could handle more challenge. 

im painfully struggling with this puzzle now, wanting to send novichok to my friend who gifted this to me lol. its just 1000 pieces but it's Van Gogh's Starry Night... so f*ck me, basically.

there was a cocktail festival at Bedfors Square Gardens, Samantha and i checked it out, sipping various cocktails.


im back to salon nails, happyyyy. this time instead of going to one of the hight street places that i dont fuy trust, i found someone on instagram.  loving my long claws...

the lego show is amazing, super exciting and the host, Hamish, is lovely and funny.

August 30, 2020

when the pieces fit together

Evelina recommended me the podcast  The Gateway: Teal Swan (spotify link). investigative story about this self-help guru. i immediately started listening because when she recommended Wind of Change podcast (spotify link), i LOVED it, well done and interesting historically and culturally. im now 2 episodes in on The Gateway and its certainly interesting. not black and white. so the best kind.

so i finally got into podcasts - only like, 5 years after everyone else? haha. i just needed to warm up.  sometimes im a late bloomer. with the internet, i was not. some wonder if online dating is safe or sensible - i started that in 1998. but i didnt start using a mobile phone even semi-regularly until around 2007-2008, and that was a 10 yr old nokia. now, its an iphone and i barely go to bathroom without it. but with the podcasts the problem was always also that i couldnt think of where and when i'd listen to them. people say they listen to podcasts while: commuting to work, jogging, taking dog out for a walk, dusting, doing the dishes, folding laundry. out of those, i only do 'folding laundry' and thats only doctors shirts, pants or sheets, and i try to get it done in less than a minute. i just cant find that suitable side activity. until puzzles under lockdown. so they seem to feed each other now, podcasts get listened to and puzzles get done.
finished this finally. one piece missing though in the top right corner! im not too huffed when that happens, i buy 2nd hand puzzles from eBay usually as that makes the most sense and so it can happen, very rare though.
....and started a new one. easy for a change. 

puzzles are very soothing and nice activity for me. friends recommended the movie Puzzle earlier this week and we watched it on friday. friday was also our 'lunaversary', 10 years 5 months. anyway Puzzle was pretty good, not great. and it was more about a woman finding her own voice, but the puzzles played a big part. i wish it was bigger. i had been wondering if there is competitiing puzzling and googled now, indeed there is. how cool is that? i'd love to understand it better. reminds me, i just heard yesterday that Carlsen and Kasparov will have their first ever chess match next month. thats something to watch. not sure if its exactly fair, with kasparov semi-retired from chess (or so it seems) as well as age... but its a wet dream sort of, so.

this sunflower we got as a random gift in mid-may quickly grew taller than an adult human. i realised suddenly a plant WAS interesting, because it had such a short reaction time and i could see my actions have an effect. like it changed and grew so quickly. if it was dry and the leaves were down and i gacve it water, within half an hour the leaves were perky again. so maybe im not so anti-plant, i just want to see something happen. the sunflower matured and died last week. not sure if there was a way to have it as a annual plant, if maybe we made a mistake... i just googled "fast growing indoor plants" and went from there. now expecting a purple velvet plant called Gary from Aberdeen. i found one small purple velvet plant on Amazon and then an even smaller baby one in Etsy. and the Etsy one had the name Gary and care instructions so obviously i got Gary. i specifically wanted as small as possible in order to see the growth. i dont see point in buying a full grown plant. 

these buildings on our street are fascinating. i'd love to know more about them and how functional the residents find it. looks beautiful.

dinner with doctor a couple weeks back when it was 35c. rooftop terrace on our street (Aquum).

friends gave us this colouring book, and i got pens from WHSmith. i am anti-pencil as they need more pressure and would make my hand hurt, not to mention sharpening etc. we started colouring Brighton with doctor.  feels childish in a positive way.

new soft slippers!

our project new windows has been a bit of a disaster. i found the best possible company (Fensa certified etc etc) and yet they are utterly incompetent at times. installations issues, quality problems, carelessness, poor time management and what seesm sometimes as just lazines...  but there were also other things, they had to order a completely new bedroom window (below) as there were technical problems with it, and some other stuff.
they were gonna just silicone seal the outside... leaving gaps like this (ignore the satellite cable sticking next to it). ff's sake.
 we've had a lot of back and forth about the quality of the work - we are not specialist, but i do know seals should be weather proof, windows not clonky and other obvious things. so a month later, the windows are still not done . only guest room window needs fixing though and astragal bars missing. so getting there. it is a bit quieter for sure, so the acoustic glass is doing its job. the double glazing and insulation are maybe ...too good though? during the july and august heatwaves our livingroom got 'istanbul warm'. i will be thankful in the winter but in the, we need to find a solution for next year.

August 08, 2020

im ranting to avoid vacuuming

so life has settled to its predictable ways. and i dont say that in a bad way. theres the struggles with a random dishwasher problem, the discussions about whether we should have a magnetic notice board on the fridge, what should we eat for dinner, why is our only plant looking so dire, should i buy a new blanket soon, and so forth. wondering if that odd feeling in my stomach is heartburn oe the cancer thats finally caught up with me thanks to drinking sweetened drinks for 30 years, and trying to find the perfect grey wall hooks for the bathroom. which can be incredibly difficult! and i moan about it with all the passion of a privileged first worlder. i wish i could use the shoulder-shrugging emoticon here.

we needed some wifi help, despite not being a big flat, our bedroom was not getting consistent connection and it annoyed the f**k out of us. we looked into repeaters and all these things, and a part of me was like okay, if we fix it 90% with like 25£, its good enough, but then doctor pushed on for a "perfect" fix and i kind of got on board and looked into mesh networks and found Eero. certainly not cheap (around 200£ for the 2 Eero's on Amazon) but the wifi is fixed and there are no issues with network names or anything like that (as we mightve with the other solutions). warmly recommended. just learned that it was named after Eero Saarinen! i was wondering about it actually, seemed like such a coincidence that it has a finnish name.

i did look into Google mesh too but actually Eero did really well according to reviews and while i appreciate Google very much, and Amazon is known to have its issues as a company (...), i just felt better going with Eero.


another random

and a view from our window some saturday night, when the street should be bustling the bars open... but this was before july 4th and the opening. eerily quiet.
ok so im feeling a bit ranty. i just hate how difficult it seems to find any sensible content on the internet. its especially difficult with cosmetics/beauty related stuff. its all just articles on beauty mags that are more like sponsored advertising (okay this was always a problem, nothing new) but now its also "influencers" doing the same thing. how do you find any real factual or honest information anymore? opinions areopinions of course, but you cant trust those either anymore when everyones paid to praise. Il Makiage has been aggressively advertising their foundation in social media for like 6 months now, maybe longer. i tried to google it a bit. found of course youtube videos by influencers, which im not going to watch, then Cosmo type of articles of which i tried to read a few. there were gems about how the foundation is the brands absolute best selling product, suggesting that means its great. but i mean, they advertise it like hell, of course it is? its the flagship product they are pushing. its not like an established brand where consumers would be familiar with a product line and over the years one foundation became more popular than another? also, they actually only have one foundation, so, we are comparing foundation sales to blush sales now? and while the 'journalist' applauds Il Makiage's foundation quiz where they ask about your skin type and what type of coverage you want, they then add that indeed they only have one foundation and kind of pass it off with a shrug. right, very cool quiz, where your choices only feel like choices, in the end there is just one product. one article also hailed how the quiz AI matches you with the perfect shade, and the more people take the quiz, the better tha AI gets. like, how? the algorithm (yeah, lets not call every little thing AI, please) will match a user with a shade, but that doesnt mean the shade is right. so if i do the quiz and get shade 001, im not sure how its suddenly any smarter for that, the shade might not suite me at all. and no, i dont think they feed info on returns into their "AI". so how is it learning anything, really? so this applauded quiz has like dozens of questions, but the only ones that have an effect on the end result is the ones about your skin colour as that is the only variable. and even then, because they reportedly have 50 shades, yet show you dozens of skin tone pictures to choose from, you can choose slightly different pictures and still get the same result. the many picture variations shown create hundred if not thousands of combinations, but as said, you're actually limited to 50.

so for fun i took the quiz twice. im not goint to list all the things they ask for, but just a selected few things to prove my point. 

quiz 1: balanced skin, blending foundation with fingers, wanting medium coverage, semi-natural finish, wear foundation 2-4 days a week, prep with nothing, skin concern: dryness

quiz 2: dry skin, blending foundation with a brush, wanting full coverage, matte finish, wear foundation 5-7 days a week, prep with moisturiser and oil, skin concern: acne
tadaa! same exact thing. i then took the quiz a few more times (obviously ingocnito browser etc) varying age and the other things, and having some fun with the skin colour pics choosing light and medium a bit randomly. i kind of started enjoying it, not sure why, maybe just for knowing the result in advance? i mean, its asking what foundation brand i currently use, how often do i use foundation, how long have i been using the current brand, what do i use to blend my make up. i mean besides making the product feel like its hiiighly customised, i guess they can use the info they collect in their marketing - like if they learn that 60% of people use a brush to blend foundation, they can push that marketing angle. 

btw that number of reviews seen in the screen caps 137 957 vs 137 993 - up by 36 in just about 5 minutes, wow. and hundreds of thousands of reviews?! im just rolling my eyes here. when u click the link, reviews come up but trying to browse them is impossible. the first review up on the list is from March (the sorting default is "rating: all"). either there really are 130K reviews and their system is unable to process the amount of data, or theyve made it slow so no one would quickly click through to see that there definitely isnt hundredreds of thousands of reviews although u could just have your fancy "AI"create fake reviews so i dont see why they wouldnt have them. someone on the internet said they delete negative reviews, which i fully believe, would be right on sync with the ethics in general.

olkaa tarkkoina niiden pussien kanssa

olen kokeillu äänikirjoja nyt enemmänkin. mutta en saa mitään loppuun eli äänikirjoissa kärsivällisyys ihan yhtä huono kuin paperisissakin.
olen kokeillu: 
Sirkka, Anni Saastamoinen (mielenkiintoinen, vaikka fiktiivinen)
Toisinpäin, Maria Veitola
Naisia joita ajattelen öidin, Mia Kankimäki
"Et kuitenkaan usko...", Ville Haapasalo (todella mielenkiintoista elämää, etenkin Pietarin alkuvuodet)
Hesari kertoo biopussien valinnasta . jokunen viikko sit oli myös juttu siitä, milloin kestokassia oikeen kannattaa käyttää, siinä oli joku juoni siis että se ei aina kannata tms. mietin vaan että saa olla aika harrastelijamaisen ekologinen jotta voi seurata ja noudattaa kaikki näitä juttuja.
ote biopussiartikkelista;

Mikä sitten on paras pussi biojätteille taloudessa, jossa ei ole kotikompostia? Vastaus riippuu siitä, millaiseen jätteidenkäsittelyyn biojäte on menossa. ”Oman jätehuollon nettisivuilta voi tarkistaa, millaista pussia siellä suositellaan”, Koivula sanoo.

Jos biojätteen loppupaikka on mädättämö, paperipussi on paras.

”Mutta jos se menee sellaiseen paikkaan, missä on sekä teollinen kompostointi että mädättämö, ja biojäte lajitellaan ennen käsittelyprosessia, voi käyttää kompostoituvaakin pussia.”

huh huh, selvitä sitä ja tätä ja jos kaupassa ei ole tällaisia pusseja niin mene toiseen kauppaan ja osta tuollaisia, ja jos ei löydy sopivia ni mielellään koe hirveetä maailmantuskaa ja syyllisyyttä. kananmunankuoret olis hyvä laittaa kotikompostiin kyllä ja no niistähän voi kotioloissa vaikka jauhaa jauhoa jota voi sit käyttää johonkin ja sit olis tietysti hyvä eritellä rasva ja sitä voi käyttää paistamiseen, mielellään tietysti siivilöi sen sunnuntaisin kun on aikaa jotta siinä ei ole mitään ylimääräistä ja sit sitä voi säilyttää lasipurkissa jääkaapissa ja käyttää kuukauden. sen jälkeen lasipurkki pitää steriloida kiehuvalla vedellä ja se on kans sellaista kivaa sunnuntaipuuhaa. eiks? en pysty hahmottaa kuka pysyy noissa perässä ja pystyy noudattaa kaikkia ohjeita mut tuntuu et se on aika suomalaista että niin tehdään. tai aika moni ainakin. 

toissapäivänä facebook mainosti kierrätettäviä sähköhammasharjan päitä. joku firma siis tekee sellasia mustia hammasharjanpäitä jotka käy vaikka Oralin hammasharjoihin ja sit ne on kierrätettäviä. mietin vaan et miten kierrätysjätteiden lajittelu suhtautuu siihen? mistä ne tietää et ai nää on niitä kierrätettäviä hammasharjanpäitä jos niitä on muun kierrätysjätteen seassa? täällähän pahvi, lasi, kartonki ja sellainen menee yhteen kierrätyslootaan joka sit eritellään jossain. eli oletettavasti, jos olen laittanut sinne vaikka kangasta, ni se ei päädy kierrätykseen vaikka kuinka valmistaja olis sanonut että tää on kierrätettävästä muovista tehty ja voi kierrättää edelleen. tuntuu että noita kierrätettäviä hilavitkuttimia myyvät firmat on ehkä ihan kauniilla ajatuksella liikenteessä mut epäilen et niillä ostetaan omaatuntoa enempi ku mitää  todellsita hyötyä. toivottavasti olen väärässä. yks "ihana" on kans joku vessapaperifirma joka mainostaa somessa. niiden vessapaperit tulee yksittäispakattua sellaseen kierrätyspaperiin käärittynä. ja kun ostat sen 24tms paketin joka tuodaan kotiovelle ni se on laatikko. säästyy siis muovia?! jep. oikeasti tarviiko jokaista rullaa yksittäispakata vaikka se oliski paperiin, ja toiseks jos esim. 2 ihmisen talous käyttää 48 rullaa (karkea arvio) vessapaperia vuodessa ja ostais ne 4 x 12 rullan muovipakkauksissa kaupasta ni onko edes hirveä ero vrt pahvilaatikko+paperiinkäärityt+ovelle kuljetus x 2? tietty jos on isompi perhe ja sitä paperia on tapana ostaa 4:n paketeissa ni sit siinä alkaa ehkä olla jonkunlainen kevyt ekohyötysuhde. jokainen pienikin asia ja teko ja valinta merkitsee JOOOOO joo, mutta...  jotenkin haluisin et keskityttäis isoihin asioihin enempi, niinku jokainen salaattikerä ja tuoresipulinippu kun on muoviin kääritty, ja niitä ostetaan vähän enempi ku isoja wc-paperipaketteja kuitenki. ylipäätään kaikki on melkeen muovipaketeissa, teknologia ja lelut ja muut. läpinäkyvä pakkausmateriaali on varmasti tarpeen joten tarvis vaan olla tarpeeks edullisia muovinkorvikeita jotka kompostoituu jotenkin, eli vaikka (ja KUN) päätyy luontoon ni ennen pitkää maatuis. mutta voipi olla vaikea sellasia kehittää. oikeesti muoville pitäis vaan asettaa sellaisia rajoituksia tai haittaveroja että valmistajien olis pieni pakko alkaa käyttää kalliipia korvikkeita - ja ne jotka voi ni pakkais tuotteensa jotenki muuten. elintarvikkeissa varmasti just tämä jälkimmäinen. toki sit tää kallis muovinkorvike näkyis tuotteiden hinnassa, mutta sellasta se on. tuntuu reilummalta niin kuin et sysätään ainoastaan kuluttajalle vastuuta. toki me ännessä kulutetaan myös ihan liikaa, mutta turha kuvitella että se loppuisi kuin pakon edessä. joten ekologisuutta on lisättävä jotenkin muuten, ja ylhäältäpäin. jaaha, jopas innostuin taas paasaamaan. siksikö, etten halua itse ottaa vastuuta siitä kuinka paljon jätettä tuotan? meh.

sanon vielä että suomi on ihana ääriesimerkki mutta en usko että suomalaiset tietää aina millainen ääripää ne on. jokainenhan sokeutuu vähän ympäristölleen ja vaikka tietää että Mumbaissa asutaan slummissa ja Afrikassa kuollaan koleraan, niin silti se oma  biopussien valinta ja eriväristen lasien lajittelu luultavasti tuntuu isommalta jutulta ja "yleisemmältä" kuin mitä se on. mikään maailman kolkka ei kierrätä ja nysvää sen kanssa kuten suomalaiset. 

myönnän että olen tosi kiitollinen että meidän alueella eritellään kotitalousjäte vaan kahteen, kierrätettävä ja muu. se vielä onnistuu. ja "oikeanlaiset" kierrätysroskapussit saa kunnalta kun tilaa netistä. ne on sellasia läpinäkyviä, isoja kuten jätesäkit. toimii hyvin. meidän talon muut taloudet ei niitä tilaa joten heiltä tulee vain yhdenlaista jätettä. alakerran tyypit kertoi että ne käyttää Sainsburyn kierrätyspusseja, en viittinyt sanoa että kaupungin jätteenkeräys ei niitä hyväksy - ne menee siis samaan sekajätteen kanssa. eli kai mäki sit toteutan suomalaisuuttani kun tilailen internetsistä oikeanlaisia kierrätyspusseja - oikeasti niitä muka toimitetaan osoitteisiin 3 krt vuodessa mutta eipä ole näkynyt.

kieriskelen 1st world problemsien kanssa ja koen syyllisyyttä kuinka hyvin mun asiat on. ikkunaremppa sentään menee päin h*lvettiä mutta siitäkin voin ajatella että no olenpa onnekas että voidaan edes tehdä ikkunaremontti. joka ei ollut mitenkään pakollinen, haluttiin vaan kaunistaa ja uudistaa ja eristää...  mietin et onkohan tää hirveen yleinen melkeen-keski-ikäisen kokemus. kun asiat alkaa olee töiden ja muun suhteen aika kohdillaan, on aika tasasta mut kiirettä kaiken pienen kanssa, keskitytään kotiin ja elämän sisältöön ja jonkun sortin "itsensä toteuttamiseen" kai.   

July 25, 2020

selfish holiday

holiday has been good for me. restaurants opened july 4th and i did go ahead and immediately book lunch, dinner and sunday brunch... after which doctor told me to chill a bit. then went to get my hair cut of course and probably something else. and on tuesday the 7th we set out to explore UK going to Liverpool and from there to Manchester. trains and hotels were pretty empty. what was a shame is that the museums are still closed, i really wouldve wanted to see some Beatles stuff, and maybe a couple other mini museums. so all we could really do was sit in a coffee shop, eat, drink, walk around. went to a few shops. then we returned home, stayed for a day and continued to Brighton. there would be many other cities to explore, but we got lazy and knew that Brighton is a chill easy place. there are lots of cute shops in there and we did some shopping. after all this, i guess if 2nd wave starts now, i'd definitely be partly to fault. i felt i did so good the first 4 months of lockdown, not even going out the door for the first 2, that i deserved to go on my travels now. typical selfish thinking, i suppose? i happily followed all the rules though, used hand sanitiser wheverer offered. and it was EVERYWHERE, every doorway, toilet etc. mask in public transport. separate entrances and exits. being able to enjoy the summer a bit i feel like i can stay in another few months in the fall/winter. because i really assume this disease is not going anywhere, and will return. will be rough because its just barely under control in UK, whereas life in finland is back to normal, and they only have a few new infections every day...  so if UK goes from this 'on the edge' situation straight to a 2nd wave it will make people - and the economy- miserable. i really dont think they can close everything again, its not survivable. but im patting myself on the back for supporting local businessess - it isnt enough to be open if no one comes in and spends money!

Brighton scenery. 

at the hotel we were just enjoying a coffee and reading magazines and chilling (History, Wired). 

in Liverpool i started reading one of the Beatles biographies (there are so many it was hard to pick). trying to catch the feeling. and in Manchester i focused on listening to Joy Division in a cafe while reading some random articles on their music. i read the bio Touching from a Distance in around 97-99 and didnt want to do a re-read. it was touching, though.

yeah i eat avocado toasts... so what? if u dont want english breakfast - and why would i - the options are limited before noon. i used to be negative about turkish breakfast but compared to english...ok, sorry i said anything. 


bloody Victoria's Golden Jubilee statues were so depressing... she looks permanently miserable. 

i didnt know what this was but i saw it in a shop and had to try. it was bad. 

cute cafe/restaurant in Liverpool



Liverpool (yes we liked it)

 Manchester had interesting buildingsy

i wish i couldve captured the space here properly. the upstairs of a pub. 

i have this MAC gift card from my wonderful, amazing istanbul friends and  finally got to using it. started with a primer and eye liner.

 today we had a handyman come over and put on wallpaper in the entrance hall.

after that we had the hat shelf and hooks installed. perfect for scarves and whatnot. 

also  put this round shelf in the kitchen for oils etc.

doctor got his full driving license today. the exam was a few weeks ago and it's pretty challenging apparently kind of like in finland it seems. anyway it went ok. you cannot convert a turkish license directly to british so he had to take the theory exam, which wasnt too bad apparently. for passing that, he got a provisional license. thats valid for 2 years, during which u should do the practical driving exam in order to get the permanent, full license. during covid driving classes and stuff have been on hold except for key workers. and i was pushing him to finish the process because i think it had been over a year so he took some classes from a local driving teacher, 6 or so (12 hours), and then the exam, all in 2+ weeks.
random: crossings are named after random animals. wtf? pelican crossing, zebra crossing, puffer crossing, chicken crossing, toucan crossing, pegasus crossing....

i was watching the netflix docu on Queen + Adam Lambert and remembering how i found Queens music. it was 1991. i was only 11 and i was listening to Queen cassette's and looking at the lyrics with a dictionary in my hand. the docu was nice although pretty light and almost like a sales pitch, of course. in an art shop in Brighton we found this nice poster. not sure about where to hang it and what kind of a frame to get.


see Johnny Lydon there?

we needed a new oven glove. i saw this brand (BlueQ)in shops in Brighton  and got interested. most of the oven mitts were maybe sexist or just didnt fit, but this one did it since we are not great cooks but also not the pickiest. 
another shoe shelf. we just needed surprise. this was just perfect next to the other, size and all. they were charging like 20 GBP more for black so i got the plain steel and painted this black today myself. call me stingy?  (Etsy link)

a pub in Clapham Common. my temp at the entrance was measured at 36.2C. there is no denying this is a nicer area. and im not complaining and i love this but i miss Brixton too. 

we got the tea infusion from Brighton , they suggested mixing with gin so i tried (left bottle). fucking horrible. ill try vodka next. not sure why im even trying these things.i guess its wonderfully middle aged to have these little kitchen projects where someone else has done the thinking for you? docytor on the other enjoyed really doing stuff sometimes, like pickled carrots, pickled onions, his own muesli bars and so forth.
when i saw "kopparberg" and "strawberry lime" i had to buy it although i am not big on gin. i did test it - horrible.

this was random. i did not like the book Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell - i admit i didnt finish it. there were some heavy assumptions about HIV existing in the 50s and then getting 'stronger', and some odd hand mentions like "these were not people like me and you, these were people who were partying every night"... suggesting very promiscious, not like us. if the book was great otherwise i wouldve continued, but i felt like he was really clutching at straws or trying to 'invent' a point. not that 'a tipping point' does not exist in many interesting situations, but i lost trust.

what is with these posh funerals. i mean okay, every country has its traditions so not criticising, im actually like ok...  just find ot odd, when i hear horses i look out the window and ...there it is, someones casket in a  glass case. this one today seems to say 'grandad'.