September 09, 2017

beach holiday badly needed

i think we are getting old, we are thinking of going to Tenerife this november. originally we had more exotic ideas, Marrakech flights are the same price after all! but temperatures are better in Tenerife, especially in the evenings. and yes it matters. maybe Marrackech is better when its properly warm? i have been to canary islands before but not very seriously. now im really like ok, we want a pool, we want this, we want that...  just comparing options.

so i watched Hitman's Bodyguard. not amazing but amusing enough.

our friend Can from istanbul was here for 2 days, registering with GMC. whole process took like 9 months. it was really uplifting, to see him finish the process and just hang out and chill, talk about the moving plans. of course all that is yet another process, but an positive, exciting one. it really motivated me about my per project, the 'turkish doctors to uk' group that ive been working on. its going quite well and im trying to blow more steam into it.

what annoyes me is when i say that im allergic to cats and someone replies "oh well you can get one of those hairless ones!". okay, common misconception, but im not gonna bother correcting anymore, hairless or not, hypoallergenic breeds do exist, with variable success rates. maybe one day i will look into it, if we feel ready for a pet. as far as bunnies go, ive been looking after the neighbours bunnies for 2 weeks now and i am allergic to something. maybe the hay, though. cos when i clean their toilet and lay down new hay...uhh. but bunnies need hay.

September 01, 2017

Interpol tonight

damn ive been here for a year soon!! odd feeling...  it all came true, our plans. hmm, wow. im both surprised and not surprised. i am surprised once again how much life can change, not just organically but by planning. but i am not surprised that a an idea comes to fruition, as planned, cos i do have that ability to make shit happen. maybe i need to give credit to doctor too? :) this was a team effort but i certainly pat myself on the back. anyhow, there are things you cannot control and risk involved, but nothing catastrophic happened and here we are.

next week a turkish friend is coming to register at the GMC, he's gone through the same process as doctor and should be moving in december with his gf. im veeeery excited, i have taken it very seriously to help turkish doctors migrate here, and it will be nice to have an old friend from istanbul in our new environment.

its been a while since i wrote anything... what have i been up to, besides bunny sitting..  last saturday i went to london fields where anna celebrated her birthday. i met several of her friends, it was cheery and relaxed, chill picnic stuff.

then on sunday i went to greenwich where again we headed to a park with a group of friends. i played frisbee and football bravely - very unlike me but fun :) the summer was back that weekend, and on monday, 28 degrees! i finished work early and we went for a short park stroll with doctor. see here i go again listing things ive done. well, to each their own, this is what i do to document my life and im not too apologetic about it.

this guy and his dog on the bus were a sweet team.

Atlantic: How friends become closer . this article reflected a lot of what ive been thinking in the past few years. its nice someone has put it in words, meshed with science and even given a bit of further insight i can mull over. moving, which involves losing some friends, trying not to lose some friendships, and working on making new ones, kind of gets you to the core of this. and ive had some specific 'cases' that have had me question what friendships are made of, what are the expectations in general, whats fair to expect, what do humans need and what do i in specific need from my friendships for them to work, and so on.

love to listen lately:
Låpsley: Love is Blind
Kevin Morby: Harlem River
Benjamin Clementine: London (simply amazing)
Aine Cahill: Black Dahlia
Simon & Garfunkel El Condor Pasa (If I could)  (an old favourite)

...and tonight im going to see Interpol with Ro! havent been to a concert in years. there are simply very few acts im interested in seeing, even if i listen to a lot of stuff. Interpol passes the bar though. as does The National, which im supposed to go see end of the month. both concerts are "through" friends, theyve bought tickets and just waited to find someone who wants to join - pretty ingenious i guess, concersta re so quickly sold out, when you have a chance to buy there is no time to waste...  plus i dont think i knew either of these people back when they've bought the tickets.

Ocado is pretty nice, ive ordered groceries from various companies but their customer service and communication is really good so far. as an example this informative email i just received:

August 26, 2017


im delighted that Project Runway is using models of various sizes this season. it other TV news im still hooked on Border Security (Canada & Australia), Bachelor in Paradise, Ink Master and Face Off. but i should checkout Broadchurch, apparently its quality stuff.

Anna has birthday party tomorrow at a park, the weather is still quite summer-ish so not a bad idea. and there is another park gathering on sunday, with another set of friends. i think my weekend is booked? doctor is working so its good i have something to do. i do have 2 bunnies to look after, in any case!! our neighbours are on a short holiday and i get to be a pretend bunny mom! its like a dream come true! they are a sweet, mischievous girl named Chia, and a shy boy named Popeye. a lionhead and a dwarf. so cute. so soft. 

Chia tackling a banana
bunnies are not the only animals in the neighborhood...

Guardian: What if McGregor beats Mayweather? i personally cheer for Conor but nevertheless i think his odds are slim. i think everyone is in on this just for the money, anyway, so it doesnt even matter?
Harpers bazaar. My ancestors owned slaves
NYTimes: Why is is hard to make friends as an adult
Guardian: What we can expect from Vogue under Enninful (i dont read Vogue and dont know the guy but hey, reading is good)
Business Insider UK: The real unemployment rates of UK...  (when someone told me it was 4.5% i rememer thinking that cant be, and my gut feelings seems to have been right)

August 15, 2017

work got busy for a change

last week FB was showing me "memories" from x yrs ago, im like wtf, its my wedding pic with doctor. turns out it was our 2yr wedding anniversary. we minimally celebrate, even if just eating a dinner together at home, the 28th of every month, which is the day we started dating. its far more important than the practical choice we made in august 2015. although the latter is a heavy legal contract, i find more joy in thinking about our whole journey together.

NYTimes opinion section: Is naming and Shaming Rapist the Only Way to Bring Them to Justice? NO. because thats not justice, even if it sounds like it. the world has gone fucking nuts. social media vigilantism shows the weaknessess of our species. the fact that rape cases are not dealth with properly or go to court often enough is a problem, as is the shame that is still attached to it which prevents women (or men) from even reporting)...  lots of problems, but i think at least in the west -which is what i am confortable talking about cos i dont know about the rest- we are goint to the  right directions. and stooping to middle ages style vigilantism is like going 50 steps back. it could bring the feeling of getting justice to some victims, but the type and size of the punishment is then anything and everything, depending on how convincing and heartfelt your story is, how good is your online presence and what kind of "online warriors" decide to act on the fury thats sparked. perhaps someone whose very passionate about it decided it's okay to beat up the named perpetrator. are we still cheering? lets say beating someone up is a fair punishment - especially if you are a village elder in the 15th century, okay, but rape is horrible, maybe the perpetrator should be tortured too, or killed? once the online viral machine gets going, you cant stop it and the opinion piece barely touches the problems of it. saying "But when a man is falsely accused, there are a number of avenues he can pursue to seek justice." yeah. so now we force another victim to struggle with the justice system, we just change genders. the writer continues "As well as rebutting the allegations in the forum where they are raised, he can complain to the police or sue for defamation.". hah...  imagine a man who has named a rapist going online and saying "i didnt do it, she is lying". the lynch mob would just get angrier...   okay im going to stop wasting time on this, but whatever the crime i hardly think this type of behavior is the solution, we need to fix the original problem and not create new problems and problematic behaviors. im as vengeful as any, but we've created a better justice system than the village council, because emotional people can act irrationally and cause more harm. call me an idealist, then.

ostrich steak and potatoes. pretty plain...    the steak was marinated, but still. it did the job. 
 art on the wall of a pub in Elephant & Castle.

we got a spice rack! proud of adding a plastic between the rack and wall so the spicers dont sratch the wall.

just over a week ago we went to Brighton and enjoyed the Pride parade there. Brighton is known for its LGBT culture so perfect time to visit...  it was very much worth it. plus a lovely little town in its own right, i could go again sometime :) the whole town was in festival mode and the parade was amazing. Brighton is just 1h by train and the return ticket was 11£ so not bad.

August 13, 2017

brittien kylppärit

kaveri kommentoi hyvin kun sanoin et mulla on taipumuksia kehittää ongelmia tyhjästä, sanoi että 'terveen länkkärin merkki'. rofl emoticon tähän :) toisessa yhteydessä sama tyyppi vinkkasi minulle suomalaisen trans-ihmisen ehkä epätyypillisestä blogista; Musta Orkidea. en ole vielä lukenut blogin kuvausta ja muutamaa kappaletta pidemmälle, ja fiilis on että en voi olla kaikesta samaa mieltä mitä sieltä ehkä löytyy, mutta joka tapauksessa on aina mielenkiintoista lukea - sehän se saakiin ajattelemaan että miksi olen eri mieltä, mitä mun perusteet mun näkemyksille on. on aika luontevsa että kaikista väestönosista löytyy erilaisia ääniä, ja että vähemmistöt ei ole aina keskenään samaa mieltä ja että keskustellaan eroista. ehkä soraäänet on kans mielenkiintoisempia joskus kaiken muun keskellä.

tämä ei ole ongelma tyhjästä vaan ihan oikea, joskin 1st world prob: briteillä  ei ole pyyhkeissä lenksuja joista ne voisi ripustaa. siis edes käsipyyhkeissä. mitä h.... v.... ? no, tein pientä kyselytutkimusta (yli 70 vastaajaa) ja selvisi että täällä harrastetaan pyyhetankoja, ja ne joilla on ns. kuivauspatteri, laittaa pyyhkeet siihen roikkumaan. tuollainen pyyhkeen keskeltä 'roikottaminen' myös selittää miksi käsipyyhkeet on täällä 90-100cm pitkiä - tätä olin jo ehtinyt ihmettelemään. mutta meidän pyyhkeet oli kaikki suomesta tai ikeasta joten en ollut vielä huomannu lenksu-ongelmaa ennen eilistä. osalla briteistä on ihan perus koukkuja kylppärissä alteen veirrssä mutt sitten ne ripustaa pyyhkeen miten se vaan pysyy siinä ja käsien kuivausta varten se otetaan siitä pois ja sitten ripustetaan uusiks. jos kylmä-kuuma hanaa pidetää vanhanaikaisena niin mites tuo sitten? oneksi kaupasta löytyi yksi jossa oli 'designerin' nimi tagi jota voi käyttää samaan...  vrt ikea-pyyhe:

ja miksi laittaa imukupillinen koukku pistorasian päälle? pistorasia on vain jollekin parranajohärveille joissa on erilainen töpseli - nämähän ei täällä tykkää sähköstä kylppärissä joten tuokin on myönnytys. mutta ihan turha meille. onneksi sentään hana on eurooppalaista mallia...

hesari kirjoitti syksyllä julkaistavien elämänkertojen miesvaltaisuudesta. erityisen hyvää muuten lyhyessä artikkelissa oli lista naisista joista voisi kirjoittaa. koska jos Makwan Amirkhanista on kirjoitettu kirja (joka kiinnostaa kyllä!) niin ehkä pidemmän uran tehneet Kirsti Paakkanen tai Kaija Saariaho ansaisivat sellaisen myös...   itseasiassa Makwanin kirja olisi ehkä vielä voinut odottaa koska vaikka tarina kiinnostaa niin tyyppi vielä nuori joten miellään lukisi sitten kun tapahtumia on lisää kerrottavaksi.

August 08, 2017

struggling with happiness

NYTimes opinion piece on End of Life Option act. the doctor says "I’ll admit it: I want this option available to me and my family. I have seen much suffering around death." buuuuut he is not really comfy to be the one doing it? sorry my empathy just ran out. i can see its hard to change your ways and find the answers to when exactly do you help someone die, it takes a bit of time, but i wish it wasnt at the cost of patients suffering.

damn i hate to admit it but life is pretty good now. im not sure why i hate to admit such a thing, but ive always been tat way. half finnish-ness half-personality. almost makes me feel guilty, and definitely something to keep under the lid when chatting with someone whose going through tough times. im now waiting for our free range meat delivery from MuscleFood. the name of the company was a bit of a turnoff, sounds steroid-y, but maybe they first catered to gym loving Atkins dieters...i dont know. however they work with smaller farms and offer organic & free range and thats all i care about. im so god damn lucky we can afford buy whatever kind of food we want, too. joy & guilt at the same time is confusing.  then, doctor started at the new hospital last week, but they had induction first and then he had a few days off so he just started properly working yesterday. im so proud of him, really, he's integrated well despite some hardships and keeps positive. AND, i am definitely ordering thai takeaway today! AND, gonna be watching Border Security: Canada's Front Line :D i LOVE border & customs tv shows. yeah, becoming a police was one of my dreams. there is also Bachelorette final that aired yesterday but i know the result so its a bit meh to watch maybe...   just waiting for Bachelor in Paradise to start next.


i read Jeff Bezos is the richest man in the world now. i have certainly helped with that, i am an avid customer.

brunch at Aquum on sunday. they have board games, funny hats and the place has a bit of a disco feel. i lost the jenga. 

when we left Edinburgh, our train was delayed, and before there was an update if the train would ever be leaving, they announced we could take another Virgin train (east coast instead of west coast). so, in the end we left 30min late and arrived 30min earlier, cos east coast route is faster. i would say the situation was pretty well managed. the next day i got an email that due to a late service, we are due compensation. a few days later i checked our bank account and indeed, Virgin Trains had returned us 90£, which was the total of our inbound ticket price, i can only assume the train was delayed indefinitely or something...  but damn, i am thinking there are some pretty strict laws regarding reimbursing delays and cancellations since it happened automatically. very nice.

about a week after doctor got his residence card, he received a letter saying there had been a printing error, and that he should return the card and they would quickly print and dispatch a new one. the error was in the title of the card; residence permit", rather than "residence card". i remember thinking about it for about half a second and then accepting the might use the word permit loosely, although what he was applying for was specifically a residence CARD and usually brits are anal about their titles and wording. aaaaanyway after waiting for the bloody card for 6months it was hard to let go of it right away but he did, and today, a week later, a new card arrived. seems to be in order. a few were horrified of the mistake and how messed Home Office must be to make such a mistake but really...  in Turkey these things happened to every second applicant. mine had a typo too. and its not like they approached me pro-actively and made the fix easy, oh no, i had to work and fight for it. as did many others. human mistakes hape, and as much as i am not a huge fan of Home Office overall, i think they handled this in the best way possible, addressing all the issues in the letter (like, if u were gonna travel the next day, before u could get the new card, etc).

so overall lately, fuck ups have been managed quite well by the brits.

ive also recently talked to people who are quite distraught over the current immigration policies, needing a visa and whatnot. or the lack of visa keeping people apart. us, western people who are used to being able to do whatever we want, go wherever we want. it reminds me how much turkey taught me and how much easier all this, relocation, home office, brexit and all, has been just because i experienced turkey.

Guardian posted an interested POV video about a refugee's way to europe.

another Guardian video about a disable MMA fighter.

Fact of the day: 26% of NHS doctors are non-british. and the remaining 74% british includes  many who have acquired nationality, obv. Guardian's article on subject, NHS relying on foreigners. the facebook group i started for turkish doctors coming to UK is going well, 130+ members. but the article and related stuff that i read really inspired me, i think my goal is to double the number of turkish doctors in UK asap. there are currently just under or around 100 based on the statistics i dug up. 

August 02, 2017

good times how long can they last

i tried to listen to this podcast Guys We F****d which Anna recommended, but the episodes are long and quality varies. yet, ive been interested enough to keep listening to the 'not a teen, not yet a milf' episode with Jon Ronson. who is cool. i loved his article on Monica Lewinsky last year. 

i am starting to feel more an more comfortable in london. i never felt uncomfortable but obviously ive felt 'new'. but i knew london should be easy to settle to, most people are from somewhere and nobody cares (in a good way). shopping in sainsburys tonight i wondered why i would feel comfortable amidst such a mix of people, where others feel comfortable in the supermarket of the town they grew up in. i bet i would feel comfy there too, had i stayed. just, i can feel at home somewhere else fairly easily. not sure what % of that is motivation. cos ive really wanted to integrate. i met someone new today (through Vina app) and they talked about the volunteer work they do, and it reminded me of how ive considered getting into it too, cos i can, and cos it would help me integrate as well. hah, just signed up at the local council website. lets see if they will get in touch with me or not, maybe they dont need help :D i also signed up at the local hospital foundation trust a while ago, as a 'community member'. not sure what it means, if anything, but i'd like to take part in stuff! in their email it sounded fancy;
"I am writing to thank you for becoming a member of King’s College Hospital NHS Foundation Trust and to explain a little about membership and what it means to our hospital. You now join thousands of other people already supporting your local hospitals and taking an active interest in their future. As a member you are entitled to vote in or stand for elections to our Council of Governors who represents the interests of our patients and our local communities. We also want to engage with you and the local communities to hear your views and improve services for patients at all hospital sites.There are a range of opportunities for members to get involved with King’s, and it’s up to you how much or little you want to take part. You may want to attend our special member health talks on clinical topics such as Diet & Nutrition, Depression and Parkinson’s Disease or on broader strategic issues like our future plans as a leading university hospital and a part of King’s Health Partners. Members are at the heart of improving patient experience at King’s. Members currently take part in our listening events, complete surveys and join service user groups."

oh well, maybe a whole lot of nothing :D

doctor is starting at the new hospital nearby TOMORROW. we worked towards this all along...  i really hope it will be better than the first. they have a major trauma center and its more central and has a good rep...   and at least the commute will be easy! cant wait! i got him a travel mug with custom print as a gift, to celebrate. it has the symbol of medicine and "dr first name" - i know his colleagues had issues remembering his name so maybe it'll help with that.

last friday we celebrated another 'monthly anniversary'. went to the royal hospital museum, then argentinian restaurant for dinner :)

 Argentinian restaurant Moo Cantina;
free range steak!! its been fuckin forever since i had a steak.

on sunday i went out to Regents Park for a picnic with some finnish women, also very nice.

 ordered this dress from eBay. it looked scarily tent-ish on the hanger, better when i wore it.

Brixton stuff...  this shop with its graffiti is almost opposite to the following cool building that has the bell tower; 


and thats a cat near our flat, chilling on a mattress someone's thrown out. 

my healthy-ish lunch? potatoes with herbs, various grains (was a frozen mix) and Linda Mc Cartney's meatless sausages.  
 something from amazon. im crazy about rhubarb & ginger candles lately.

July 29, 2017

stuff VII

oh Turkey. little by little they are taking the country to its grave;
draft law to authorizing muftis to register civil marriages (hurriyet daily)
turkish schools to stop teaching evolution (guardian)
local Amnesty International director and 5 other activists charged for terrorism (guardian)

i could go on but thats depressing enough. anyway, that country greatly changed the course of my life and i enjoyed some of my best years there and made amazing friends and we bought flights to istanbul in september for a holiday. im really eager to go back and feel Kadiköy again. they say the atmosphere keeps changing, which is understandable with all the changes... but still.

our next door neighbors are moving out. too bad, they were nice. there is always the risk that new people will have a baby and a barking dog...    just now a guy walked into the flat and was taking photos of it from outside and he saw me through the window, i smiled but he had zero reaction... hmm.

after a hot yoga craze doctor is now into swimming. a very nice hobby, should i say :) i might go and try with him, one of these days.

Amazon's customer service keeps amazing me. i have interacted with them only 3 times but they are fairly easy to reach which is really important - most big companies hide behind endless links that refer to each other. and then, whichever contact method i picked, i was able to reach a person quicky. and of course finally; the issue was always solved promptly.

the other day we went to a turkish supermarket thats in Camberwell, in other words not very far at all. i cant figure out if i didn't search before, or if i didnt search well enough or if its new, but either way, it was a happy day for doctor especially, i didnt mind practising my turkish with the staff either.

July 26, 2017

UK sightseeing

holidays done. for me anyway, doctor has until friday.  Cornwall and Edinburgh were very nice indeed. the first one with majestic views and easy chilling at Marianne's lovely house & garden. and the latter being cute & gothic at the same time. we went strolling around the city tasting and drinking everything in our way. VV & Mikko hosted us but we also met an old friend of doctors who moved to UK like 10 years ago.

Cornwall. grilling & chilling!  we had one super sunny hot day, rest foggy/grey. 

largest nachos in scotland (2.7kg). yes, my wet dream. had to share it with others unfortunately. 
 all of Edinburgh is like this, you feel like you're suddenly in the 18th century.


NHS and/or King's College in specific has a pretty interesting appointment reminder system here. a week before your appointment you get an automated call that asks if you are (name). when you press 1 to confirm, it reminds you of your appointment date and time and asks if you are planning to attend it or not. you confirm with 1. they must have had a lot of no-shows to set up a system like that...    my GP just sends reminder sms messages. but so i have now confirmed im attending my physiotherapy appt next monday - my 'mouse arm' keeps giving me troubles.

lovely video of london;

i bought a pair of 'period prood underwear' from Thinx when i got a discount code and free shipping. still uncertain to what extent i want to use them but we will see.

July 14, 2017

good stuff

things that are good now:
-doctor has his Residence Card
-muesli with almond milk & can of coke zero are my breakfast staple and its good
-the company i work for is pretty awesome
-when using metro, our is the first stop so i always get a seat
-ordering vietnamese takeout
-amazing & funny husband
-holiday starting NOW.

we are taking the train to Cornwall tomorrow, proper UK countryside travel! also got home insurance finally better late than never. (and we always had a burglar alarm, just for the record).

and today the mailman brought a "gift"; our 780gr of evidence, doctors passport, my ID and as a cherry on top a bue registration certificate for me. so im registered as a EEA citizen now (insert eyeroll here). and i bet that booklet is gonna be worth nothing in a 1.5 yrs time, anyway, not that i need it now. but doctor's residence card should be good for 5 yrs. what happens after brexit is finalised, we will deal with it then.

well, jenni, that was a job well done!

July 11, 2017

final hurdle

so yesterday doctor got a letter from Home Office, well before expected - i've been reading reports that it's pretty much 6 months right now, give or take 3 days. so, bloody hell, 3 weeks early! it seems to say they are giving him the residence card - as they should! but i have been pretty stressed, re-thinking if every bloody page was stamped and whatabout the payslips which were not stamped and so on...  its agonising to dwell in the uncertainty of whether you made a tiny mistake. cos they are known to find that tiny mistake and thats a rejection then. anyway, now we are just sitting and waiting for his card! how fuckin awesome? im ready to book a trip abroad as soon as we also get doctors holidays confirmed by his new hospital! istanbul! maybe a weekend in paris? :D hahaa.  whata relief, seriously...
 seems legit? the card is on its way??

 last saturday - Karin's birthday and housewarming at Queen Mary's rose garden. very festive!

is this a fox? i know they are common in london but i'd never seen one. the white end of tail would suggest so. and ears that were not very dog like.


HS: Moni maahanmuuttaja­nainen jää ilman työtä, koska ajattelee kuuluvansa kotiin – tästä ei Bahar Mozaffarin mielestä puhuta Suomessa tarpeeksi
kissoja pöydille, hyvä hyvä. turkissa työikäisten naisten työssäkäynti on jo reippaasti alle 40%... (ennen AKP:tä se oli muistaakseni 60%). toki sieltä ei suomen mamut pääasiassa tule, mutta eiköhän tuo kuvasta aluetta tuossa suhteessa, arabimaissa on samantyyppistä meininkiä. toki monet pakeneekin näistä maista siksi että edustaa länsimaisia arvoja enempi...  tästä päästäänkin turkin brain drainiin. presidentti siellä on vaan tyytyväinen että kaikki "vääräuskoiset" ja häntä vastustavat lähtee. uusia akateemikkoja luodaan liukuhihnalta (vaatimuksia on "hieman" höllennetty) kun edelliset on potkittu viroistaan kun eivät ole AKP:läisiä ym. siinä alkaa kai yhdellä sun toisella tulee ahdistus, tuttavat on kans puhuneet et ite viel pärjäis, jos on sellainen turvallinen duuni, mut nyt kun ne päätti lopettaa evoluution opetuksen kouluissa ja vastaavia muutoksia niin tällaiset asiat kiinnostaa vanhempia tai sellaista suunnittelevia. eilen viimeks yks meidän turkkilainen lääkärituttu otti yhteyttä ja kysyi et "noniin, mites tää prosessi menee...". tätä varten perustin lääkärin ja parin sen kaverin kanssa FB-ryhmän jokin aika sitten. nimenomaan turkkilaisille lääkäreille siis. siellä on kootusti tietoa kaikesta mahdollisesti. ja ihan orgaanisesti siinä on jo 100 jäsentä - tarvetta selvästi oli. nää mun projektit vähän pistää miettii et liekö mulla tylsää vai miksi olen niin kovasti säätämässä muiden asioita (usein paljon konkreettisemmin kuin jossain ryhmässä ohjeita kirjoitellen) - mutta ehkä tietynlainen tylsyys ei ole huono? ehkä se ei ole tylsyyttä vaan itseilmaisua, harrastus? kuka tekee mitäkin ajallaan.

mut viel noista kotiin jäävistä naisista, kukas mä oon sanoo onko kotiin jääminen hyvä vai huono, mutta nuo maat joissa kotiin jääminen on yleistä ei yleensä tue sitä rahallisesti - eli perhe ja suku toimii tukiverkkona ja kiva silleen. mut suomessa on eri systeemi ja enennkaikkea kotiin jääminen vaikeuttaa sopeutumista, eli sitä jää helposti yhteiskunnan ulkopuolelle eikä edes tiedä mistä sais apua sit jos sitä tarvis jne. sen takai musta olis hyvä jos sopeuduttais jossain määrin maan tapoihin.

munki pitäs vissii keittää itelleni tässä kuppi teetä kun briteissä ollaan? :P no miksipäs ei... 

ai no ei se mennykkää niinku englannissa...  mantelimaito sit jotenki... meni huonoks? kuuluukohan tollasiin hedelmäteihin edes laittaa maitoo? must maku on ihan okei kyl...  hmm hmm. ehkä viel vähän harjoittelua ennenku voin sanoa olevani integroitunut.
sekoitin nyt iloisesti aika vakavia asioita ja vähemmän vakavia asioita mutta niinhän mä tapaan tehdä.

söpöö ku luin hesarista kuinka sen yhden taiteilijan haudan hoidosta kiistellään. tai nihkeillään kun se on hoitamatta, jonkun etäisen sukulaisen pitäs sitä kai maksaa ihan vaa huviksee...  jatkakaa samaan malliin...:)

July 10, 2017


doctor told me there are sometimes "criminal looking people" in the emergency department. he then learned that sometimes the court convicts people to labour in the public sector, so its those guys. kind of sad that they sort of stick out though, as "criminal looking". his comment was not judgemental, just descriptive.

the new hospital he is going to in august, seems a bit better organised, just as we hoped. but its weird how 2 hospitals that are part of the same trust, can have such different ways of doing things. you'd think it would save money and nerves to unify stuff. like, how work rotas are made, how leaves are allocated.. and scrubs. the current hospital is like "whatever", and doctors only wear the top part, whereas the new hospital gives you scrubs and you will wear top and bottom (as they do in turkey). i prefer they wear the whole set cos every now and then they do get bodily fluids or something on them.

renting a car turned out to be really challenging. we wanted to drive to Cornwall and back, next week, but in the end turned to trains. i started off by googling of course. eneded up at - which was offering cars by indivisuals, very airbnb'ish - ok great! found even cars around brixton! so then you need to sign up as a "driver" in order to book this car. i first created an account on my name but you need to upload your license info etc so i had to create an account on doctors name instead (my license was stolen along with the wallet in january and i wouldnt have been the main driver anyway). then it gives an error saying they dont insure licenses from turkey. instead to search cars from  at which point i see the url has bcome its a bloody loop! there is a phone number and they say oh we are a separate company, call this other number....  lol ok. in the end, we could only rent from a rental car dealer, they are open like 9 to 17 on weekdays only...  and the closest is in Oval. not very far, but the opening hours themselves put a lot of restrictions, would have to to rent at least 1 day extra. and that was if we claimed our residence was in turkey. being Uk resident with turkish license is aparently a problem (although by law you are allowed to drive up to 1 year with a goreign license). but if there was an accident, the lie about residency might come up... it was slighty uncomfortable to think about. and i admit being concerned about navigating our way out of the city - it would be doctors first time driving in UK. he feels comfortable with the idea, but the stress was piling up for me. also returning the car by 5pm on tuesday wouldve been a stressor...  the cheapest car rental wouldve been 90£, add 55-60£ fuel costs (yes i calculated). the direct trains then, they were starting from 135£ for the two of us, and so... not much difference? car gives some freedoms, but responsibilities too, and Marianne warned us that we could easily get stuck in traffic on saturday - hence the need to get going at like 7am - which wouldve meant renting the car the previous day etc. both train and car were approx 5h trips, neither car nor train was running from our doorstep so add 30min tube travel. if somehow we wouldve picked up the rental car on friday before 5 (when doctor is supposed to be sleeping), we dont have the right to park in front of the house. but with all this, i felt like that was the least of our worries. so in the end train was an obvious choice.

July 09, 2017

the summer goes on

Karin has her housewarming & burthday party today. weather permitting (as it seems) we will go to a picnic. yay?! doctor is working late evenings these days unfortunately so i am on my own a lot. but its only 1 week until out summer holiday. during which we will go to Cornwall and Edinburgh. that reminds me, have to rent a car for cornwall trip.

yesterday i met Camellia for lunch to discuss her startup business. its a really good idea with potential so im helping out a bit. its really nice to be able to go to Brixton Village for lunch when the weather is so nice... and the fact that im in a position where i can afford these things! not that its sooo expensive, but certainly i dont take eating out for granted. in the evening i met up with Ro and had nachos for dinner. im totally enchanted by this summer weather and hanging out with people.

deportation of south korean adoptees from US (NY Times). crazy stuff.
Guardian "article"/excerpt from Roxane Gay's new book Hunger. i havent read the other books either, yet, they are on my Amazon wishlist :D
this article about detransitioners on The Stranger created a shitstorm. frankly, i found it to be balanced and good, not illwilled or poorly representing the minorities in any way.  but what do i know, a white CIS woman...
Advocate: This is What A Queer Family Looks Like. yes. i am happy to see different kind of stories, not standard hetero, neither "standard" gay. something in between. there are options.

July 02, 2017

sitting in front of screen

Amazon is pretty amazing. i remember thinking a long time ago (like, 10+ yrs) that the algorithm it suggests books based on, is pretty good. nowadays its even more so. i always wanted to live somewhere Amazon delivers to, and im finally there. and re: the algorithmm  sometimes i dont know remember the exact name of a product, but with Amazon's suggestions, ill get there. i mean, so nice. its the little things in life...! and now, the next step in our relationship was naturally sharing our brand new fresh Amazon prime account membership. they call it household account i guess. this is commitment. amazon deliveries tend to come within 2-3 days in any case, but they had an offer (59£ for a year) and we budged, the 2h and same day deliveries, as well as Amazon pantry that enables us to shop from Morrisons...  that kinda did it.

watched Betting on Zero yesterday. then started They Call Us Monsters. im on a docu binge this week. docus area great way to chill usually, and learn something new.

all the Guardian stuff:
opinion piece on 'Brexodus'. it has good points. i think having lived in turkey im not fazed too easy - im used to residence permit runarounds and being at the mercy of uncertainty and whims of an unfriendly government. but of course that was no fun and one of the many reason we left turkey - i wanted more certainty and i wanted to feel like i belong. moving here after the brexit vote was a bit of a gamble and we have not gotten all of those things. i still need to believe that long term things will be ok. certainly "as ok" as they have been until now, free movement of people and lalala, but

cant wait to see Laura Poitras' Assange film Risk (Guardian) + apple trailer.

Celeste Barber's fashion photo parodies are genuinely funny (Guardian story).

June 24, 2017


i was watching Generation Iron 2 and ended up googling stuff. this article on Vice...  good stuff :D i dunno why i keep watching bodybuilding related doc's - its just so kooky it is always interesting. today im enjoying Obit - about obituary writers and their work. its midsummer though so i will head to Hyde Park soon where im meeting some finnish friends and supposedly finns and swedes gather there in crowds every year. not in cooperation though, just, swedes have an organised event or gathering, and finns just know to gather there, and they end up next to each other. describes the relationship of the countries i guess, not besties but rather sit next to each other than alone or with someone else - peaceful co-existence. well, maybe im analysing too much based on what ive heard, i should just go and see.

im proud of this fly net i installed. the window handle made things challenging. so the net covers the window frame, but the bottom part is closed with magnet tape, so you can open it, put your hand through and open/close the window an it will snap back neatly. its really a spider net, not a fly net. i was not eager to open the window at all until we had this. i applaud doctor for being so patient and understanding, especially during the hot days... 

June 23, 2017

where do i fit in?

on sunday i went to this hotel (Britannia International) with Anna for a bit of spa time and chilling. originally, i bought this groupon deal for me and doctor, but he made a mistake with his schedule and was working on sunday and so on... i went with Anna. good times.

there, laying by the pool, i started reading Unwomanly Conduct: The Challenges of Intentional Childlessness. sounds so serious! but its a good book, its hard to find these voices speaking for women who didnt opt-in to have kids. like, how its usually spoken of as opting out. and ok, while the book makes it a completely choic-y thing such as eatings or not eating breakfast, i believe that reproducing is one of the main functions of any species, although we have the the ability to make conscious choices, there are some powerful 'forces' (hormones etc) that often override it - and that makes sense. not to mention women that have sex with men often get pregnant unless they actively prevent it... and naturally the pressure of society, families, what have you. so there is a element of opting out, too. but ive always been so focused on other stuff, i feel like it wouldve been an act of opting in to have children. and a lot of women in this book are saying the same thing. whether it was career or something else, kids just weren't part of the equasion. me, ive been focused on myself, my relationships with people and the world around, i think. they all take up so much time, and bring me joy, that giving it up didnt make sense. and maybe my biological clock is in a constant state of snooze, too, because i have certainly spoken with women who didnt think having kids "made sense" either, they just felt some small or big urge to do it anyway. or let it happen, via half-assed contraception methods or so. ill say that getting surgery - sterilisation - could be described as opting out though. you are literally removing an ability that you have, invading a healthy body, while taking the risk of anesthesia etc. i think because it is quite radical, it sparked me to thinking about all these things more, read more, although the clarity of not having kids was obvious before. i could say that i am examining this more now. surely my examination is also sparked by being in a new environment, trying to find my place and fit in, and going to a gyno and them taking history and me relaying the facts on form of contraception, how many kids, how many pregnancies... basic questions. and at the end there is an eyebrow raised, or i am just imagining it. while am at it though, i have to say ive had very pleasant experiences with NHS overall, the doctors and nurses in specific.

the other night we were out with docor and passed our local cinema, Ritzy. looking the films runing there, i saw something i figured must be finnish; Lake Bodom. i was right. despite the poor imdb rating and very low expectations of finnish horror ingeneral we decided to go see it. ill admit it provided a positive surprise, not amazing but definitely interesting and fun. i would recommend it, in fact.

hah, just learned there was a '24 hours in the A&E' type of documentaristic emergency department reality show in turkey - only it began and ended with the pilot. they started shooting it at doctors hospital, but we were in australia at the time. anyway i guess they failed at something and people didnt get interested and that was that. funny.

so in helsinki some of the city councilmen are planning on free contraception for young people. what a great idea, i wish it happened and was country wide. finland may not have great weather but it has a lot of other things to offer...    speaking of which; about midsummer.  as the writer points out, "In the UK, the only people who celebrate midsummer, or summer solstice as it’s more commonly known, are New-Age hippies, pagans and wannabe Druids". but swedes and finns apparently go to Hyde Park for midsummer. so tomorrow im heading there to meet a few friends.

June 21, 2017

omg summer summer summer - fan arrived yesterday

i decided to dive in! i got the leopard pattern lugagge free from someone who didnt need it anymore. much appreciated but it does get a lot of attention. at least its easy to spot on the conveyor belt...

found a lot of make up in the storage but had to weed out everything thats gone bad (most of the stuff) and that i dont really want (again, most of the stuff). whats left was eye shadows mostly;
i dont buy animal testing brands anymore but dont see an issue finishing the stuff i have acquired previously.

apparently its not enough that i have saved like 'everything', i also need to take photos and share them online...??  i just feel like photos are almost stronger memories than the items themselves, it solidifies that they exist...

no idea why i had my moms and dads old documents...   doctor says i have features from both but more from my dad.

some bedding, school report cards, school, melodramatic novels from when i thought i would become a writer (?), and Apulanta memories. and so much more. omg the piles of papers i cannot throw away?!
photos, calendars, school photos of friends, old photos from my step-grandparents...

i got a delivery of free finnish bread! i think Fazer's rye bread is now sold in UK, at least Scandikitchen, Ocado, Nordic Foods and Finndeli. i got 2 packs so im gonna keep one and give the other to someone...

June 17, 2017

nyt olis piknik sää, sinne!

Jani Kaaron kirjoitus hometutkimuksesta. hyvä. hyvin löyhästi asiaa sivuten, mun nenä ja iho reagoi tosi huonosti suomessa käydessä. ekat päivät nenä oli ihan kuiva, siihen pisteeseen että iho meni rikki tai sinne tuli jotain haavoja koska oli hemmetin kipeä. epätoivossani laitoin jopa huulirasvaa nenän sisäpinnoille... silti välillä nenä toisaalta valui, siis kaiken kuivuuden keskellä. muistan elävästi että suomessa asuessa nämä ongelmat oli ihan peruskauraa. reissun loppua kohti vähän helpotti, ainakin nenän sisus parani. iho kuivui myös ja voidetta piti mättää päivittäin, suihkun jälkeen kiristi ihan tosissaan eli ei voinut vahingossakaan unohtaa. UK on hyvin monessa asiassa välimuoto turkin ja suomen välillä - niin tässäkin. kaivoin kosteusvoiteet täällä esiin, paitsi ei niitä juuri ollut olemassa turkin jäljiltä joten piti ostaa uusia. kosteusvoidetta tarvitsi talvella etenkin laittaa jos ei joka päivä niin muutaman kerran viikossa. ja nenä oikuttelee satunnaisesti. mutta sanoisin että ympäristö on mulle elinkelpoinen.

lääkäri on tänään jossain "overseas doctors induction" kurssilla. toivotavasti se loppuu aikasin koska lämpötila lähentelee nyt kolmeakymmentä. ihan siis kesäkelit. mäkin heitin 'hellemekkoni' päälle. ostin tän turkoosin huivista kyhätyn merkon melbournesta. vaikka on australiasta niin muistuttaa mua turkista koska väri ja matsku ja kuviot.

book hoarder

back home from finland. these trips, especially now that i need to go through storages and drag heavy suitcases, can be a bit stressful,but overall it was pretty standard, okay. always nice to see people. and i was glad to be able to go to the company summer party, met more of my colleagues and so on. but im glad to be back home, just turned on netflix and will get myself a soda (why are they so expensive in finland??) and go through some of my stuff.

booooks. theres kotler's marketing management as a reminder of school times. and all those suicide themed books...ive always loved dark subjects. richard adams' watership down is so dear to me i couldnt let go of that either...

found a mug with my name and teaspoons i got as a child, with my initials engraved in the back. not really my style but oh well. 

i also had stuff waiting for me when i got home! i think we have enough cutlery now.

the toilets in a Helsinki bar, Loosister. Sabrina cracked me up :)