June 16, 2018

coming and going

Toronto trip done. it was nice for me to see old friends and 'the hood', and to reconnect with our friends from Istanbul who live there now. and it was doctors first time in north america. we went to Niagara Falls and Hamilton of course, to meet Kev and his gf. memories! also, i had forgotten how car centric canada was. i mean i knew it, but it still took me by surprise. i think it would be hard for me to integrate there, even if we lived very centrally. u just cant get very far with public transport. and im not interested in driving. well, we dont live there, so all good. for visiting the subway and street car were good enough (plus not too crowded, easy access) and the weather was mostly nice. i think canada is great in many ways, and i certainly like canadians. i think London is the right place for me (to live) but nice to visit over the pond sometimes.

downtown Toronto.

view from the islands

Korean BBQ place

Niagara Falls

cider tasting with Hanna

 sushi picnic. nom nom.

i managed to empty my head during the trip which is good, didnt think of work one bit. now, i just need to ease myself into reality again. laundry, grocery shopping, scheduling...  i have friends i want to meet but i need to go to finland this coming week for a few days. ill be back on midsummer, not sure i will go to the annual Hyde Park celebrations though. i think by then i will need some alone time again.

FINALLY Home Office (or Theresa May, who blocked these plans earlier?) have come to their senses and are removing doctors & nurses from the capped Tier 2 visa process. it's simply mindblowingly stupid to DENY visas to people that are sorely needed. they have gone through a long & expensive process to be registered to practise in the UK, have found a job - meaning some hospital somewhere has signed a countract with them and paid for the visa process (certificate of sponsorship) - and then both parties get a "no sorry monthly cap is full", like wtf? 
"2,630 visa applications from doctors outside the European Economic Area (EEA) were refused in a five-month period, despite crippling staff shortages across the NHS." one of these people is our friend. the first hospital that offered him work got tired after 2 attempts (applying twice in consecutive months), so he had to find another job and now its been the same thing all over again. if the cap is removed next month, and the hospital applies again it should go through or if they've already given up he will have to find a 3rd job...   its agonising, when you've worked so hard to uproot your life, you have a job waiting for you and then the process is thwarted due to a senseless no-reason. anyway, so hopefully this is now changing. this worsened NHS staffing crisis is just one of the many lovely effects of brexit.

Victoria park a couple weeks ago. the All Points East festival nice, weather amazing and Nick Cave even more so :) 

last night i hung out with Can & Burcu in a local cocktail bar that was wonderfully colourful and lively. maybe i felt a bit too old for the music but it was a good couple hours anyway.

 at the corner of our block;

June 03, 2018

london stuff

going to see Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds tonight in Victoria Park with Jess & Ollie (doctor is working :/ ) . there is also Patti Smith and Physchedelic Furs... im not complaining. but Nick Cave, holy crap. ive been listening to him for 25 or so years.

finnish londoners monthly pub night. record number of 35 attendees this past friday. 
the very center of london has these pretty ancient paths. in the night on my way to bus stop a bit creepy.

the above is just a stone throw away from this

 i lost my wallet a week ago. im pretty sure "lost" and not "stolen" as none of the cards were used (even the contacless), and i have a feeling its dropped on the movie theatre floor. i know i paid for the popcorn and then we went straight into the screen room (Deadpool 2!!). and from there, we walked directly home. but the movie theatre sayd they have not found it. eventually i had to cancel the cards and finally i bought a chain to attach a wallet to the handbag. its not pretty but until i find a better solution...

i got some new testing equipment. and at this point it seemed best to get a charging station, not just for all the cables but also just to kind of manage them...  

 work is quite busy which makes me stressed and so im looking forward to our holiday soon (Toronto).

May 27, 2018

new baby cam

Santorini was warm. we stayed on both sides of the island to get a town and beach experience both. the visually stunning caldera was worth seeing but the quiet and cozy beach was a nice and much needed balance. with London/Finland prices, i'm not sure i would go again, as greece has so many nice cozy beach villages that are more affordable, but i am happy i've gone once.

our 2nd hotel (Smaragdi). the pool was for doctor, i knew i would not go in there... too chilly. hence, i got a room that included a heated jacuzzi, haha. we both enjoyed that one.

dinner by the beach. tourist season was not on yet in the village of Perissa, and it made for a perfectly calm & quiet location.

new baby camera. so after disappointing myself with Lumix DMC-TZ70, i got Sony RX-100 mark 3 and i think we're bonding and im satisfied. it's a bit thicker and heavier than i'd like, but with my requirements it was in the end the only one that fit the bill. technically Lumix seemed to do that too but then there are the factors like how it feels in your hand etc. plus the LCD screen on the Lumix was so awkward, looked like over-sharpened photoshop work. what i wanted:
1. 640x480 picture size
2. great lens
3. large aperture
4. wifi (i know they are so-so in the best case, but better that than nothing)
5. reasonable UI
6. "pocket" size
7. wide-ish angle
i bought this from eBay - reputable 99% pos feedback shop - for 409£.

so my complaints then, cos that's where i really excel at?
  • a bit too thick & heavy
  • wifi/NFC is as good as it gets in these cameras but its still s*** poor and hidden somewhere deep in the menu
  • the on/off button is a tad too easily to press by mistake, i have turned the camera on a few times just as i was fishing for it in my bag
  • i dont really personally care for neither a viewfinder nor the flip screen...  but at this price range they start adding hundreds of features and it's unavoidable... 
  • when you change the shooting 'mode', from automatic to program for example, the camera displays an info screen about that mode and it's features. that got tired after the first 2 times
  • the visible area of the LCD is very small compared to the physical size of the screen...  way smaller than in my old camera
something annoying happened with the camera shopping. after i had returned the Lumix very swiftly, and before i ordered the Sony, i was at the aiport Dixons Travel and eager to FEEL the Sony before making another possibly poor decision. there were other cameras too i hadnt ran into while researching so i was checking them out. the staff was not too busy as the shop was nearly empty at 5am but i was not approached, which can be nice when you just wanna look around but i was trying to look at them for some attention...    anyway, i was looking at a smaller (and more basic, around 250£) camera but couldn't confirm the image sizes so i eventually got a member of staff to help, altho he was not too eager. he condescendingly explained to me that such high quality camera does not have 640x480 size. i tried to point out that the (almost double price) Sony RX100m3 sitting right next to it does have that, and was hoping he would take the hint and help me find options that suite my needs but he was not interested and then wandered off. of course i dont know if it was because i am a woman, or not a wealthy enough looking woman, or because he was having a bad morning or generally hates customers who arent looking for the most megapixels... but as someone who herself has sold cameras and knows a thing or 2 about them, it hit a nerve. and maybe that is because in my photolab/camera selling days customers would often look for the MAN behind the counter when they wanted to hear about them. i did have gracious enough co-workers who directed the customers to me if their knowledge was less than mine, though.

Amazon is amazing. u want to call them? just click a button and they will call you immediately. bloody hell. everytime i deal with them through any channel im just like 'woah'. why have i been dealing with Amazon customer service lately - considering they're so good it's rarely necessary? it seems that buying and selling mobile phones online is risky, they tend to get lost on the way. last year when doctor ordered a new phone it was lost by the courier, Hermes. it never arrived. now, i have been trying to order Honor 9 for work (testing purporses), TWO times. the first arrived box opened and no phone inside...   the second was sent via Hermes which usually means there is trouble ahead, and that was indeed the case. it never showed up, got stuck in the depot the morning they acquired it (see screenshot). besides Hermes being complete s***, the problem with them is that you can often easily see from the tracking that there is an issue, the parcel is stuck at the depot when it shoud be on it's way, or it's "on its way" for several days straight... and then, nothing, and you have to wait for 3 or so days before you can officially raise an issue. so i've now spent a week and a day trying to buy an Honor 9. third time's the charm? i should say that i did one succesful phone purchase too, it arrived with the empty box. now im just one phone short of being able to fully test this app in a project i got onto.

like, what the actual...     how do you have the cojones to claim its "with a neighbor" (which bloody neighbor??) when your own tracking says otherwise? tracking could have a delay or an error  of course, but in their case... uff. obviously, i HAVE checked with our neighbors as well, just in case.

i dunno if im just imaging or if Netflix has gotten much better in the past year, content wise? for a service that is growing, i guess its not surprising - just add more of everything and then there is more for everyone? so maybe its just that they've tripled their content. but i feel like they have more the 3 times interesting stuff than they did year ago. so one of the options is that my taste has changed - ive been brainwashed and am more open to "netflixy" content now? or, my taste in tv has just genuinely changed as it sometimes does. or, their algorhitms have gotten better, and the content that was already there a year ago, i just couldnt find, and its now better at offering me what i want to see. or some combination of the above.

May 10, 2018

camera troubles

what a disappointment. my new camera arrived like 2 hours ago and immediately i was like "eh...". i then tried it out but was turned off even more. the size, the feel, the grip, the quality of the LCD screen...   it was a Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ70.  my old one broke a couple weeks ago, seemed like a mechanical issue jamming the lens, but we were unable to fix it. and its not for lack of trying.

so in about 30 seconds i knew i would not be able to live with the Panasonic, thought about my options, packed it up and returned it to Amazon's drop off point. at least i know what im getting instead, so thats positive? Sony RX-100III.

weather has been amazing.
Clapham park last saturday, had a sushi lunch with Can (doctor was unfortunately working, but we picnicced with him on monday)

Guardian:  Theresa May 'blocking requests' to allow in more overseas doctors for NHS
this immigration BS makes me FURIOUS. especially when the idiocy is crippling the NHS. all the things i hear and read... i PERSONALLY know people who found a job and all but then the work visa application was hit by the quota. "sorry, no." the hospital that hired him tried 2 consecutive months and then got tired. he has had to find a new job and just try again with better luck. its MADDENING.

dinner last night with Allan & other friends @ Kintan. they have a cool concept where you grill your own meat. not super original but not common either, nice activity.

May 03, 2018

dusty dust dust dust duuuust

the council election is on tomorrow and i barely see it mentioned anywhere. in fact, i dont. im confused as to what to vote. im disappointed with labour for their brexiting, but i also know that councillors have nothing to do with brexit and everything to do with local decisions. so lets go with the latter; but i dont even know the options. and surprisingly, google has not provided helpful. i feel im going to polling station blindfolded.

we watched Motherland documentary. ive been waiting forever to find it, and now Netflix had it. documentaries are hard to find...
and wait a minute, whats this on Netflix, "Bordertown"...looks finnish, it IS finnish! how nice, i think netflix has caught on the nordic noir by buying local shows not just US remakes.

  • i can smile and be chatty with the mailman, unlike in turkey, cos he wont imagine its an invitation to harass me. 
  • finnish names: jenni, jenna, janna, jussi, jutta, jatta, jonna, janne, janni, jonne, jukka, jonni, jesse...    ah, 5 letter names starting with J and with double consonants in the middle. 
  • Sainsbury's fizzy sugar free drinks 
  • we had a nice dinner last night with Niina & Hannu at a ramen restaurant

  • brits are really 'complainy' and privileged twats sometimes. they love writing complaints and demanding reimbursement and especially major apologies. whether the 'expensive organic bread' had too many air bubbles inside or the queue was too long at H&M cashier wednesday noon... brits DEMAND their hurt to be compensated. i like writing feedback too, but its nor for compensation, its literally feedback. and i dont think im THAT fussy.
  • we had a ceiling issue fixed by the landlord, or contractors they sent, and i wish they had given us a fair warning over the dust that would spread EVERYWHERE. even just a simple "you might want to close the bedroom and bathroom doors" wouldve been nice. had i known what will happen i wouldve left the ceiling as it is. our flat is covered in dust, thinking of getting a cleaner for a day to help. because when anything that was out in the open, from toothbrushes to shoes to vitamin jars, s covered in dust... having help even with just the floor would be nice. 
formerly black sofa...

dry food covered in dust

sendmybag (DHL in practise, it seems) delivered my suitcase to me today. photo albums, books, diaries...

April 29, 2018

hoarder diaries

back home from finland, trying to recover...  i started some new projects at work so i will be busy the next couple months it seems. new challenges are invigorating though.

found new music today; Vesta (spotify link). finnish, chill and easy and  melodic.

i understand the whole business of cookies and showing me ads on facebook of items i may have just glanced at (eg. a dress at H&M, shoes in eBay..). however, why cant they develop and stalk me just a little bit further and conclude tat i already bought the good damn item?! no need to spend ad dollars on me anymore. i went to sendmybag website a couple weeks ago and bought the service for shipping a bag from helsinki to here. all in this same browser, of course. and i keep seeing ads for sendmybag every day, still. idiots.

whats the british obsession with cheese? cheese memes, special cheese portions in restaurants, "loving cheese" is like a religion. and yet, they dont make very good cheese, do they? i mean, sure, enjoy the cheese, i dont mind.

i brought with me or shipped 23+23+10kg of stuff on this visit. i really look forward to trips to finland when this "storage project" is over. i think next time will be the last. then i can just focus on work and see friends here and there. and maybe also just CHILL. my body is aching from carrying around heavy backpacks and dragging luggage around (one was 28kg - way too much), and its tiring to go through old stuff and having to choose what to keep. knowing that i can keep everything. once a hoarder always a hoarder? it is cool to find memories though.

 ... like myself some 20 years ago.
my flight back was yesterday and i picked up this from the airport marimekko shop;  classic finnish mug design.

i actually also got 2 mugs from my aunts childhood home which was recently sold but was still full of old items. not really our style but it was nice to have something that has been in the family.

 all this needed going through and packing/disposing. lots of PHOTOS.

this box was heavy. all the notes written by classmates in elementary school, pen pal letters, birthday cards from relatives from since i was 6 or whatever...   i saved a few and the rest had to go (i ripped them, didnt have a bonfire available).     

packed a framed photo too (grand piano) and struggled a lot in finding a method of transport, british airways said it was a no-go because of the width. at 122x82x9cm its challenging, and courier companies charge 'gold'. im working on it. arttu had it on his wall for years but now its time to redecorate and we thought we could hang it in our kitchen.

DPD fucked up with a delivery recently, not super bad but bad, and i had already forgotten about it but then i received this with a handwritten apology note. funny enough the cookie was broken. royal mail does not treat the parcels gently :D i only wish that as a customer i actually had any choice of the courier company used when i buy stuff. but the reality is you rarely know who will be delivering your shopping, until perhaps you get a tracking email or something. if i could, i would be ok with DPD - there is no unicorn. and i would avoid Hermes like the plague. i realise its just probably our local Hermes driver PLUS the very poor tracking/customer service combo that makes it horrible for me , but regardless of the reasons, it never ends well with them.

British Airways' inflight magazine;

April 21, 2018

its been tshirt weather this week. finally. last week we had a couple sunny warm-ish days as well. but now it was 26C for a couple of days, i saw people around with sun burns... 

market stalls in brixton. 
 my new silver ring!
 and new cabin size backpack. seems to keeps its shape nicely when i tested.
ive been a bit tired and down lately, not sure why, just not motivated. im going to finland for work and also need to empty yet another storage... the struggles of a hoarder...  yeah. and there are a couple of other things im stressed about but maybe its okay if i dont write them down, so a year from now i can genuinely just wonder what was weighing on my mind, cos im sure i wont remember.

me and doctor got our AncestryDNA results though. turns out, surprise surprise... im very finnish.
doctor however... 75% armenian, the rest middle eastern, south european and european jew. like, wtf. this is not what i ordered. yet, we're already married so its too late to return him. so, i dont have a turkish husband, i have an armenian husband. i googled armenian people and ok, i can see some resemblance there, sure, some handsome men there. but so this came as a bit of a surprise. we got our moneys worth!

April 02, 2018

afternoon tea

i bought tickets to see Nick Cave in june :) he's one of the very few living artists im interested in seeing. i associate many of his songs with different periods in my life. especially teenage years of course, it was something me and my first (more) serious bf listed to a lot and quoted to each other.

this week doctor was on night shift, and now his inner clock is still somewhat confused... so i slept alone, spent the days alone while he slept...  and now its still going on. i feel like a widow :/ and yesterday was our 8 yr anniversary, we did manage to go eat out and spend a few hours of together so its not all a disaster. we went to a ramed place called Nanban which i really like, and then a jamaican inspired bar Three Little Birds for an after drink. very adult and basic. satisfying for me. we decided to invite a few of his colleagues over tonight, have a small get together (literally, we will be like 5 people i guess). i just hope doctor can get up by late afternoon, we need a buy some snacks and clean up a bit and i need help doing those things.

yesterday i also had my first afternoon tea. i always assumed its just having tea in the afternoon, but apparently it involves biscuits and small sandwhiches as well. live and learn. we got a groupon deal to a nice place central london, Jessica got ill so i ended up going with just Sam & Margreet. either way, nice experience. i thought it was gonna all revolve around the tea but in the end we had to separately ask for the tea to be served.

ive been shopping. a handbag.
 2 more handbags. although im not sure how much i like the one on the right, might sell i forward.

made this earring myself, just had to buy those diamond things, i already had earring hooks. 

earrings! matte black triangle 3D... something :D phone for size reference. im loving these. from Etsy (Ofeliajewelleryart)

random lunch. its all frozen stuff microwaved for me, every day. i reject the thought that its bad for my health although i admit its not the best possible nutritional plan. but as a compromise between convenience and health, i believe i have struck a good balance. thats a mushroom cheese kiev i think, and rice & veggies and extra veggies. 
this breakfast. every day. nutty muesli with berry granola for taste and almond milk. i like my traditions. it took me a while to find the right combo but now i think i have it.

 this lunch ended up being a bit more green than usual. but thank god for the german bread and salmon.

last friday we went with a local finnish couple to see comedy on a boat. twas quite good, we enjoyed. the quality of the comedy itself i thought was pretty high. the next day we were watching Jimmy Carr on Netflix and it was pathetic... im sure in the 90s the sexist one liners worked but now its just sad. i think i can laugh at even sexism if i think its coming from a 'good place'. not sure how to define that, but i have a friend for instance who makes brutal jokes about women, men, people of colour, disabled, poor, rich.. everyone evenly. that includes me and himself. knowing that they are actually a super liberal and openminded person makes the difference i guess. with Jimmy Carr i dont get that feel at all, even the insults towards men end up being about their mothers or girlfriends.

this science themed jewellery is cool. especially the rings. im a sucker for geometrical and (literally) edgy pieces.

March 29, 2018


mukava lukea että hesari on ollut parhaiten suunniteltujen lehtien finalisteissa. en tiedä tosin mikä* skaba tuo on ja montako osallistujaa siinä on ollut...
*siis kuinka oikeasti merkittävä, tai onko isompia vastaavia kilpailuja - nimihän jutussa on kerrottu mutta ei se mitään mulle sano

se mikä ei voita palkintoja niin on HS:n mobiiliappi. ajattelin vielä vuosia sitten että kuvien ja asettelun rikkoutuminen olisi voinut olla mun puhelimen syytä jotenkin mystisesti mutta pari puhelinta käytettyäni olen todennut että ne ei vaan osaa/viiti. se, jos sisältö ei lataudu kun (muka) huono netti, mutta miksi kaiken pitää mennä rikki?! mulla on tuosta muutama surullisenhupaisa screenarikin jossain mutten jaksa kaivaa.

yle kirjoitti pienen jutun turkin kahtiajaon seurauksista naisen näkökulmasta. kadiköy mainittu. mutta tuo muutos on ihan todellinen ja surullinen...  onneksi en itse kohdannut suurempia ongelmia jutussa mainittujen asioiden suhteen, niinku pukeutuminen tai avokin kaa asuminen. naapurit ties kyllä ettei oltu naimisissa. sain varmasti asioita anteeksi ihan siksi että olin ulkkis, mutta tiedän ettei sekään joka kaupunginosassa päde. paikallisiakin avokkipariskuntakavereita oli eli kadiköyssä tosiaan sai olla jotakuinkin oma itsensä.

Aviisi:ssa oleva Leena Pihkalan teksti 'kauneudesta' (noin hyvin yleistettynä) oli mielestäni TODELLA hyvä, käsitteln useita kauneutaan ja ulkonäköön liittyviä teemoja joita olen itse ajatellut mutta mulla on ollut vaikeuksia löytää vastakaikua.  en tiedä kuka on Leena Pihkala mutta toivon ja oletan että hänestä kuullaan vielä lisää. musta siinä on ristiriitaa ja kaksinaamaisuutta että hehkutetaan kehopositiivisuutta ja "kaikki on kauniita" mutta kuitenkin kaikki perinteistä 'poikkeavat' esikuvat, plusmallit tai muut, ovat aina jollain tapaa klassisen kauniita, joko kasvoiltaan tai sitten pitkiä ja hoikkia jos kasvot ei täsmää 'oletusarvoon'. eli jollain tapaa pitäisi sopeutua kumminkin. väitän myös että esim biggest loser tyyppiseen ohjelmaan esimerkiksi jenkeissä tai anglosaksissa maissa otetaan kilpailijoita joiden kasvot 'miellyttää' eli jos ja kun paino tippuu niin vastaavat paremmin yleistä kauneusihannetta ja näin heidän muodonmuutostaan ja upeuttaan on helpompi katsojan juhlia ja/tai kadehtia. no, viihdebisnes on mitä on. mutta jos pysytään jokapäiväisessä taviselämässä niin moneen Pihkala osuu moneen hermoon. on nää kehutalkoot, jossa toisen ihmisen (yleensä nainen) itsekritiikkiin on pakko vastata ylistyksellä. kun kaveri sanoo että "mun haluisin laihduttaa pari kiloa" niin siihen ainoa oikea vastaus on "eikä! ei sun mitää tarvii, sä oot just hyvä!". hassua on että vaikka tuo olisi totuus omastakin mielestä niin mun asenne on että "ok, jos susta tuntuu siltä niin mä tuen sua". astuin tähän miinaan viime viikolla, tai tajusin jälkikäteen että ehkä multa odotettiin tuota reaktiota koska painonpudotustoive toistui muutaman kerran. ja minä olin vaan joka kerta et 'okei!' myötäilevästi. kyseinen henkilö on ihan normaalipainoinen tai standardi tietääkseni mutta musta sillä ei ollut niinkään merkitystä vaan että mä ystävänä hyväksyn toisen muutostoiveet ja tuen niitä (jos en nyt pidä niitä vaarallisina). samaa toivoisin jos itse esitän jonkun vastaavan asian, eli tahdon karvottomat sääret tai ylähuuleen täytettä. keskustelua voi käydä mutta en kaipaa mitään "eiiii kamoon sä oot just hyvä noin.". kyl mä tiedän et kelpaan ja oon ihan hyvä mut joskus mä haluun jotain muuta? eri asia sit keskustelut joissa kysytään mielipidettä tai näjemystä toiselta. anyway. Pihkalan teksti mainitsee myös Roxane gayn kirjan Hunger, joka on mulla kohta loppuunluettu. suosittelen koska se yllätti vielä positiivisemmin kuin osasin odottaa, ihan vaan muutamalla asialla tai näkemyksellä jotka hän uskalsi sanoa, joita en ole nähnyt muualla. kaikesta en ole Gayn kanssa samaa mieltä mutta ei kai tarvikaan.

spessumaininta viel HS:n Kyösti Niemelän pornoaiheisesta kolumnista josta tykkäsin koska siinkin oli mietittävää ja paljon pointteja jotka mä ainakin ymmärsin hyvin.

March 22, 2018

buying things CAN bring (some) happiness

i went out shopping yesterdayday. Superdrug, Poundlound, Body Shop. thats where i started, let the history books note it. well, they were next to each other and near home, so. but it was so nice going out, walking on my own. certainly this bout made me appreciate my health. it was also sunny so i really enjoyed myself.

Poundland was especially fruitfull, there was a Jon Ronson book for a £! also got 2 carrots and ginger on my way home from the next door under railway bridge shop.

a pink phone cover also arrived. i had a good one but it god dirty and discoloured quickly. 

im really interested honeycomb themed jewellery now. not that im so bee loving, although bees are fine, but geometric things fancy me and honeycomb certainly has a nice pattern. i might look for some things from Etsy...   

the first full night all alone since forever. watching reality tv & chilling...amazing. 7 years switch UK and finnish Bachelor especially are entertaining me.  the cultural differences are loooovely. in the finnish Bachelor (why havent they had Finnish Bachelorette yet? maybe Finnish accomplished 30+ women have better stuff to do? :D not to shit on the male Bachelor, he seems to be a nice, good guy) they talk about some real life stuff, it just seems a bit more grounded than the US one...and with much less drama, they've casted fairly genuine women.