June 21, 2019

home?

a lot has happened again. finland won hockey gold. UK is about to have Boris Johnson or Jeremy Hunt as a prime minister. dear god how depressing it is to even write that...     miss R and her gf came to London for a visit, they are here until tomorrow. so, midsummer amongst girls as doctor is working. a short while back a someone i know through work sexually harassed me. all women experience it in some shape or form and probably several times in their lifetime...as have i. for some reason i took this harder than "usual" though, at this age and in that situation it just felt extra humiliating. what was super hard but felt necessary was taking it up with "management", although it's not our company but there is a connection so from us it went to them and it was adressed properly. im glad i did it and also i spoke with him after and got an apology and felt like it cleared the air. so, done and dusted but it does suck that this just keep happening in 2019...  post #metoo and all. then, i lost my work laptop. okay, its encrypted and all so all is safe but still what a horrible thing. it completely f*cked me over mentally, i felt so bad. i had just forgotten it somewhere and a colleague had taken it (hence it was not there when i called the place afterwards to ask), and they had for a couple of days forgotten they had it. couldve saved a lot of heartache had they not forgotten but in ethe end, it was safe and i got it back.

...and then, on monday i saw an ad for a flat in Brixton and booked a viewing. we liked it, made an offer the next day. it was accepted and things have moved forward. scary. ive had to then deal with the solicitors and mortgage brokers again because the agency is pushing their own and we werent sure about the solicitors and they are all like hyenas, seriously. pestering you, trying to pull you in, trying to make you feel like you have already signed a contract with them, calling constantly... and the agent wants to push things forward so you'd be more locked in. of course, in the UK either party can pull out at any point until papers are signed (which is 2+ montsh in, at the very end). i don't agree with this practise but considering that you get zero information about the property beforehand(!), i'm glad there is that option. so we first found a surveyor and sent him to see the property and evaluate it. also, the floorplan is ok but needs some work - namely, there is a separate toilet, and the bathroom does not have a toilet. the dividing wall needs to go, i want one large bathroom. this is a dealbreaker, so if the survey & evaluation is ok first of all, then we will have the solicitor check with the land owner whether we can break that wall to make it one bathroom. should be ok, its not a weightbearing wall and this is done a lot nowdays i assume.and after that... i think we are good to go. then its just lots of paperwork, people say its a horrid process. i have mixed emotions about the mortgage, ive never had debt in my life so its like....eeeeek. but, trying to be adult here. i do want us to have our own place.

the flat is in the building on the left.
im also worried about the value, like, will it go up like rest of Brixton should do. and if so, when? cos Brexit may cause a serious economic crisis, i would expect prices to go further down for a couple years. but the hope is that in about 7-8 years or so they would be back up and higher than now. but nobody knows about the future, so it's just a jump into the unkown that u have to take. not my kind of thing.

the Natalie Portman/Moby thing was ...uh. very disappointed with Moby.

hahaa, Trudeau bans anti-abortion groups from funding summer jobs (or something along those lines). good stuff. does not balance off the insanity going on in the US but will have to do for now.

May 26, 2019

mitä tää tällänen on

tää Kirsi Hytösen haastattelu hesarissa oli hauska, ja luin vähän blogiakin. tykkään et on annettu suunvuoro vähän värikkäämmälle naiselle joka ei ihan sovi muottiin. en kaikesta oo samaa mieltä mutta ei kai tarviikaan.

torstaina äänestin EU-vaaleissa. uutisista luin että siinä oli monilla ongelmia, ei päässytkään änestämään - joko siksi ettei ollut saanut infoa erikseen rekisteröinnistä (piti täyttää sellainen lappunen) tai rekisteröinti lappua ei oltu leimattu/käsitelty ajoissa. liittyy varmaan osittain siihen että EU-vaaleista myös päätettiin aika viime hetkellä, mutta onhan toi p*rseilyä koska tapauksia oli ilmeisesti tuhansia. ensin mainittu on helpompi antaa anteeksi, eli tietoa ei välitetty ajoissa tai tehokkaasti. itse olin tietoinen koska olen vähän yli-innokas, mutta sain myös jonkun 5tp enenn deadlineä sen kirjeen ja formin postissa. mutta sitten se ettei niitä oltu käsitelty vaikka ihmiset oli ne palauttaneet tai muuta sekoilua niin ettei asiansa hoitanut ihminen päässyt äänestämään - raivostuttavaa. virheitähän sattuu mutta vaalit pitäs hoitaa 99,99% virheettömästi. oli vaikee päättää mitä puoluetta äänestän. Labour ei ole tuntunut vaihtoehdolta pitkään aikaan koska ne yrittää miellyttää sekä brexiteerejä että remainereita leijumalla jossain "välitilassa", fence sittingiksikin sitä kutsutaan - jolloin kukaan ei ole tyytyväinen. sitten oli oikeestaan vihreet tai Lib Dems, molemmat olleet alusta asti 100% remain. mutta toi pitää vähän muutakin katsoa kuin brexit-kantaa. molemmat on oikealla suunnalla, eli hyvä alkutilanne. Lib Dems on vähän isompi, toisaalta ne on välillä äänestäneet tosi tyhmästi joistain asioista. toisaalta mua pelotti se että EU:ssa ne on suomen Keskustan kanssa samassa koalitiossa mikä oli vaan hurja turn off. en jaksanut perehtynä enempää kyseiseen ryhmän mutta tuosta sai huonot vibat. sen sijaan vihreet on samassa eurokoalitiossa suomen vihreiden kanssa, mutta UK tasolla ne on aika pitkälle "ei mitään", tää on niin vahvasti kahden puolueen maa. päädyin äänestämään vihreitä. en tiedä oliko oikea ratkaisu, mutta ainakin äänestin.

HS:n juttu homeesta oli kans mielenkiintoinen. mä olen ollut sillä kannalla että ongelma ei vaan voi olla sen kokoinen kuin on annettu ymmärtää. että muka puolet julkisista rakennuksista on vaarallisesti homeessa ja kaikilla on joku home-allergia. voi olla että suomessa yhdistyy monta asiaa joita yksinään esiintyy muuallakin; erityisen "haitallisia" hometyyppejä, huonoa ilmastointia koska yritetään pitää lämmin sisällä, virheitä rakentamisessa, rikas ja kehittynyt yhteiskunta jolla on aikaa ja kiinnostusta ja osaamista tutkia aihetta, muuten hometta suosiva ilmasto, geeneiltään allergioille tai astmalle tai muille oireille herkemmin altistuvia ihmisiä....  mutta SILTI en usko että tällä planeetalla juuri suomessa on asiat niin kertakaikkisen huonosti kun muualla porskutetaan. homehan on syvältä ja ikävää mutta ehkei se vaan silti ole niiiiin tolkuttoman vaarallista. kuten jutussa viitattiin, itsekin olen ajatellut kuivaa sisäilmaa joskus osasyynä. suomessa käydessä nenä on millon kuiva millon valuu, silmiä kutittaa ja kirvelee... ja nämä korostuu joissain rakennuksissa selvästi enemmän kuin toisissa, ulkona en muista kärsiväni mahdollisesti lainkaan. tietty joku silmien kutina on pientä siihen millaisia oireita joillain ihmisillä on. siksi sanonkin että kuivuus voi olla vain osasyy. ja jokainen on yksilö ja en tiedä tuosta niinku tohtoristasolla mitään. tää on ollu vaan mun tunne joka korostui vahvasti kun muutin suomesta pois ja olen seurannut uutisointia etänä.

tänään jääkiekon MM-kisat. aion katsoa kotona projektorilla. monet muut lontoon suomalaiset kokoontuu sellaisiin pubeihin jotka näyttää matsin mutta mä en jaksa. haluan vähän omaa aikaa ja relaamista ja sen lisäksi jos lähden pubiin ni tulis juotuakin varmaan jonkun verran.


May 19, 2019

friends

we returned from our little reunion holiday. met Cary, Hanna, Carina and their partners in Malaga. we rented a villa together and enjoyed a chill life in the sun. 30c on the warmest days. also did a day trip to Marbella and a dinner trip to Malaga. finally me and doctor took a train to Madrid for a 24+ hour mini city break. we met a finnish acquintance of mine, Anna, in the evening and had a good time there too. all in all an interesting holiday, fairly different from 'the usual'. the villa in the hills with a pool, a big group of friends, from the past no less! at the same time it was odd, like a blast from the past but also felt like no time had passed at all. except when i found myself feeling like i had changed a bit. everyone changes so perhaps everyones has these feelings. its not like ive become radically different, just some shifts in some areas. ive basically known these people my 30s... more less. its odd.

the air was so dry in spain my skin and nose really suffered. i was super wrinkly all of a sudden. so now ive been working on fixing the situation. actually i wuickly got the skin to feeling soft and 'itsef'. then realised, the wrinkles Do exist. they just dont really show unless i make faces, like squint. the dryness in spain just brought them out so they were constantly visible. anyway, i dont mind the grooves  and lines so much, im just glad the skin feels better now. although, to contradict that, the frown lines between my brows are starting to get to me... its not just lines, its like the skin is starting to fold and i look permanently angry. i think i might go botox it soon if it keeps bugging me.

the villa was a fancy place with a lovely pool and terrace area, with a view.


madrid metro ticket system is noooot great. i remember dreading it since my last visit. and the airport was confusing. i sometimes wondered how Helsinki airport could be voted the best airport in the europe - not cos its bad but i just assumed its not that great. but over the years i realised...yes its is pretty good.

marbella beach

ive never done shopping for so many people.

overexposed dinner

marbella old town

in Madrid Anna took us around and we saw a bit of nightlife and cool bars.we were dead tired so it was not a late night actually but really nice.  


cool sock shop. they were all made in turkey lol.

so cool we got on the Freddie Mercury on our flight back!


this cognitive bias codex is cool.

ive been listening to this true crime (at least i think it falls under that) podcast called Who the Hell is Hamish? by Greg Bearup/The Australian (spotify link). fascinating and horrible, he is a really talented conman.

Big Bang Theory has been of course going downhill for years but it was an easy 20 minutes to watch and i kept watching until the end. what a non-suprising bloody disappointment though to have penny get pregnant though. like seriously. americans... they just cant have a movie or a show with a woman who doesnt want children and wont have them, can they? cos thats an abhorrent thought. with Alabama and Georgia working hard to ban abortion, i almost feel like this was in the same vein - women having babies is the only acceptable option, the only reasonable storyline...  if Amy wasnt winning the Nobel, they wouldnt had her get pregnant too, i am sure of that. if they continued a season or two more, thats were Amy would head as well. i guess she was planning to (i dont remember the convo several episodes ago), so i guess thats fine, but im so bitterly disappointed that they changed Penny's character just like that. which they had also done with Bernadette. kind of saying "women change their minds at the flip of a coin". its so bitter because thats what childfree women hear all the time, anyway.

a friend recommended this fiction book for me, considering that i dont generally like or read fiction. i got through 3 pages already, eh.  lets see if i get any further.


i found Anthony Jeselnik on Netflix. i was kind of on/off about it, not sure i like the style of comedy where its just one short joe after another, but he has so many surprise moments and goes so far out there,...that i cant help but enjoy. so, mixed emotions but i did watch both of the specials and then some youtube, so...

Arttu came to visit us again. really nice to have yet another close friend around. as much as i want to work on new relationships here in london, i want to hold on to the people i have in my life already, regardless of where they are in the world. last night we invited a few local friends over to our place so Arttu met them and visa versa. very nice evening although i always get stressed about the hosting stuff, food and snacks and such.


April 25, 2019

i should start saving for retirement?

i need to fill this registration form in order to vote in the EU elections here. but im certainly doing it. this is my chance to say something. i need to figure out which party to vote for, because with jeremy Corbyn being such a passionate leaver ive been thoroughy turned off by Labour... yet they are the one party that alone seems to be able to challenge Brexit party.

watched this week:
Bachelor sweden (season 1, jättebra)
Shark Tank
Amazing Race
Botched
Bachelor in Paradise Australia

i did also watch a finnish film Valmentaja aaaand probably something else. we went to see Hellboy the previous sunday, easy entertainment. i would have maybe preferred something more interesting but the selection was what it was. i really like the local theatre though, Ritzy.  we should go more often to support them. we tend to go at hours when there is no one else, the theatres are empty. cool but it does make me worried whether the business is profitable.

i went to see some art with Samantha last week (Channa Horwitz), and then on easter saturday she introduced me to a really cool brunch place (OXBO). it was like heaven with the buffet tables. i also recently visited this other cool brunch place, it was central london and also buffet style, but i dont remember the name. vegan. and super tasty.



i didnt know every borough has a mayor too. lol, small gaps in general knowledge? just saw news that Lambeth's new mayor is Ibrahim Dogus. sounds vey turkish?! quick google says he is a turkish kurd. restauranteur, beer brand Bira founder, atheist. im loving this guy already. nice to have turkish/kurdish representation in Lambeth.

comedian Sofie Hagen has written a book and Guardian has interviewed her on it. she wants to reclaim the word as something neutral. i don't feel passionately either way, i felt like 'overweight' was the neutral word,  but i guess the over could give it a negative connotation? either way, im okay with it. not easy though, fat is used distinctvely as a negative adjective...  and humans want some negative word to use... if somehow fat was reclaimed as neutral, there would have to be another one. maybe im too pessimistic or part of the problem in this thinking, but i unfortunately dont think calling people names or using derogative words to describe their size is going to disappear. but i like Sofie's attitude. i recall Roxana Gay probably also using the word 'fat', maybe both with neutral and negative connotations.

good stuff:
-finnish chewing gums
-sunny easter weekend (25c!)

bad stuff:
-early mornings
-arranging groceries and food can get challenging

April 07, 2019

someone recommended i read Malcolm Gladwell

last weekend doctor took me out of town as my birthday gift. we took a train to Weymouth, a seaside town in Dorset. there was a farm b&b where we stayed. animals right outside the window. it was super cute and relaxing. chicken, ducks, pigs, alpacas, horses...    and it happened to be warm and sunny so we enjoyed the hot tub too. good weekend. best gift ever, well thought.


positives:
-air humidifier
-i definitely have the most amazing partner in the world - or so i feel. 

negatives:
-its extra sad so many female comedians depend on sexist humour too. i dont think i lack sense of humour but it just easily goes too low.
-got another FLU. W-T-F is wrong with me? jesus.


i just heard our (distant) friends who didnt want kids, ended up having one. due to a mishap and then further mishaps - bit murky. anyway, the message from them is NEVER EVER do it. lol. im sure many other parents disagree. i think the fact they didnt want one to begin with is tough, makes it extra hard. i also read that parents these days feel a lot of pressure and feeling of insufficiency and such. i think its related to internet and social media, the expectations have risen, nothing is enough or right in everyones opinion. i think people living in a remote village are more sheltered. while im not having kids and i think it is REALLY HARD, it shouldnt be so overbearing as what i read in the news... sounds like there is a problem.

BBC wrote about this facebook group im in. they do pub meets too sometimes, i have not joined. i think its a few thousand members - mostly 20something students though. but it IS interesting (and healthy?) to read thoughts from all sides of the political spectrum.

new things i read about today:
-presidential canditate Pete Buttigieg. sounds like a smart cool guy.
-Candyman. some aussie polygamist millionaire who lives his life on instagram. to each their own so that's fine, but the image he is portraying of himself is a bit yucky.
-Alabama prisons (NYTimes). holy crap it sounds bad. supposedly a developed western country?

we watched Bohemian Rhapsody yesterday. it was good for sure, i enjoyed. reminded me of my early teens which is when i listened to Queen a lot.

listening to:
Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood: Lady Bird (spotify)
Lola Marsh: She's A Rainbow (Spotify)

March 24, 2019

wasting away my sunday

purim party
sunday. im "wasting" it on Bachelor/ette related podcasts and coffee and probably tv later and more tv when doctor comes home from work. i was at a costumer party last night, jewish purim party. i got to thinking about the costume a bit late, this week. well me an doctor both. the theme was superheroes & supervillains, but when we struggled for ideas we didnt really care cos it was just desperation to dress up as something. we did put something together in the end and in our minds it even fit the theme while being witty. i dressed up as pope and doctor as a nun, kind of the supervillain version of Batman & Robin? i kept thinking it wouldve been hilarious if he "dressed up" as a doctor though, then he wouldve been a superhero? i mean he came straight from work and we rushed to the party, he couldve just kept his scrubs on... aaaanyway. it was great, our friends had put together a really nice party. there was a batman, batgirl, superman (in the journalist outfit with the S peeking from behind the half buttoned shirt - witty), domestic diva and some other cartoon characters and whatnot. makes me want to throw a costume party too now, we did halloween in 2017 but that was a while ago. there was also a vote for the best costume which i won. yay! humbling, since in the end i felt like i couldve tried harder and perfect the outfit but it was too late at that point.

doing the make up for the look was interesting. its not everyday that i try to make myself look like a pasty old man. it seemed counterintuitive... but fun. and it was weird at the party cos i found myself thinking "oh my lips feel dry, i need to reapply lip gloss", then realising nope, not this time! or when someone being up the camera, instead of trying to smile and look somewhat.. i dunno, can you try look feminine? cos i just found myself trying to be in character and be this old serious man. who is by some standards a villain. and it felt like the opposite of what i want to do when there is a camera in front of me. all in all interesting when you are hiding under this tent of a cape and your "role" does not include being attractive or feminine. which makes me question if it is a role, normally. last night made me think unconsciously it is. i dont of course prance around in social situations trying to fill a role, i feel like i am myself, but trying to stay in character last night it just seemed different, especially with my facial expressions.

my old mouse had to be retired, it was just time. i know i was the last person on the planet using a mouse with a cable but since i have a desktop computer i just always felt like why not... it felt more secure. but okay, its 2019 so i think were there. i actually got doctors old mouse, im so specific about how i want the scroll to be and his was the right way and he was eager to get a new one for himself anyway.



sexism
we also had a couple of good conversations at the party regarding gendered language and sexism. i dont think this wouldve happened 10 years ago, or it wouldve been less likely. but #metoo and all that is amazing in that it has brought this stuff up and a lot of men are expressing support and being mindful now. imagine this: a man says something sexist (as a throwaway joke), and i point it out and he genuinely apologises. just like the conversations, i dont think it wouldve happened earlier. and its funny how touched i was by the apology, as i didnt expect it. cos i am used to men belittling or playing down sexism, even "the good guys". and to be fair, in hundreds or thousands of situations i have not even noticed let alone bothered to say anything, because i dont want to be ruining the moment or come off as the bitchy woman (funny enough, since i come off as more less bitchy anyway?). its easier to just let it slide. maybe its not necessary to comment on every sexist remark, cos that would be a full time job, but i find that now i feel confident enough to do that if i want to. i think its a combination of both age and #metoo. i think if people just slowly become a little bit more mindful it will eventually lead to change.


on being childfree and selfish(?)
someone in a facebook group was asking why do so many consider childfree women "selfish". i actually stopped to think about it. selfishness is doing or choosing something that benefits you instead of others, or wanting to please yourself first and foremost but propbably at the expense of pleasing others. so then, it sounds like on the scale there is a womans choice or what she feels is to her benefit, and ... who's benefit? societys? one must think that its for the common good for women to have kids, and a bit of a job you are expected to do. because if it was neutral, then a woman forgoing kids wouldnt be putting her needs before anyone elses and it wouldnt be selfish. it would just be a choice.

so it must be that a lot of people consider it subconsciously (or consciously) a womans job in life to reproduce. and despite all the praise of how amazing it is, it is known to be a hard job where u basically sacrifice a big portion of yourself and some of your own goals and wants.  so when someone is basically saying "im not interest in that hard job" ... it sounds selfish for anyone in that mindset. nobody blames a random dude for not becoming a plummer or a politician or some other tough job, cos its considered a choice. but motherhood is expected of women, must be some kind of deep "keeping the species and village alive" thinking. but at this point of this planet, since we are conscious beings, maybe we can question ourselves a bit? most women definitely want kids anyway, so there is no worry about the continuity of the species unless we ironically ruin the conditions for life with overpopulation (and lifestyle, which we seem unable to change). 

also i think if u ask a lot of women "why did you have kids?", it will start with something like "i wanted...". YOU wanted? whos selfish now lol. but to be honest i have no need to try turn the choice-shaming around, women get enough of that. i think it is pretty much programmed in any species to reproduce and hence it keeps happening under the direst circumstances, but those calling childfree women -note, especially WOMEN, not men so much- could reconsider the selfishness aspect over. i dont recall myself being accused of selfishness in regards to this, although it could be i just dont remember. but im one of those people who just go "okay so im selfish, so what, what is it to you? happy now?". like, i dont care if im being called selfish and whether i am actually selfish or not i can just say "sure, i am" cos if someone wants to think that then go for it, its not like i will get along with that person anyway or change their mind. but on a general level i dont think that type of shaming should go on.  


cute shirt i just got (2nd hand eBay) 



UFC
so Family Man from Espoo was here last weekend and we went to see UFC Fight Night 147. that was good, as expected. some really good matches but admittedly also a few boring ones that just dragged on and one and went to the judges. i dont think its cool how the english crowd boo at the foreign fighters when its a UK vs something match... thats just not classy. 



 work related meme :D

shimmery matte nails yay 



recent pub and restaurant experiences...
Spanish Galleon in Greenwich, there was a fireplace and it was cozy. Greenwich is so touristy it dampends the mood a bit. 

Three Little Birds in Brixton. always cute and friendly, jamaican inspired. 
 Giraffe near Victoria. basic nice. we dined here with Serdar last week - he is another turkish doctor going through the process of coming to work here.


March 13, 2019

friends are the best

i think im pretty down to earth and realistic. so i understand brexit is most likely happening. but in the case of said brexit, i also have this massive delusion and have a great deal of optimism. for the past year or so, ive been thinking May is purposefully doing a s*** job because she knows if she does this, giving the parliament the most catastrophic brexit options possible, and drags it on to the last minute - that brexit won’t happen. so i think shes actually sacrificing herself and her career, "being the worst PM ever", for the good of the country. and thinking history will absolve her. i guess if u live long enough u will eventuallyfall  for one "conspiracy theory" or another? anyway, this is mine. not sure how i'll spin it when no-deal brexit occurs, time will show? i guess i will still believe in it and say that her plan failed. then wait for her biography to come out in 10 or 20 years and hope it will prove i was right all along! lol.

so Virgin Airlines dropped the make up & skirt requirement from female cabin crew. its one of those news where i dunn whether to laugh or cry. its great of course, but soooo... it took until 2019 for one airline to do this? only 999 more to go. sheesh.
on international womens day there was lots going on. a few male friends wished me a happy IWD. okay, to be honest i dont see the point of it, its like wishing merry christmas i think, but okay, they make an effort to be nice i think, so i'll accept it.
in Russia, Putin congratulated women on being beautiful and gave advice on how to maintain their figures. in Turkey, the womens day march was met with tear gas and rubber bullets - but that hardly surprised anyone - thats the state of things there.

on saturday i invited a few friends over for dinner and chilling. i cooked makaroonilaatikko (yeah the top got a bit too dark, should not have used mozzarella i think) and it was well liked. or everyone lied. nice saturday tho.

we dont have a very busy outgoing lifestyle. i know some couples that are out & about all the time, wall climbing on a sunday morning and so forth. i admire that, but its like looking at ikea catalog and thinking "that looks nice" but thankfully not desperately trying to 'get there'. just realising my life is different and its okay, i cant have many parallel lives at the same time so i need to pick what i really want. and this is nice. sometimes its nice to go somewhere do something, but time at home is important too.

for my 39th birthday doctor took me out to this spanish restaurant thats under a church. and he said he will take me somewhere for a weekend soon.... looking forward to that.

March 09, 2019

terveisin sähkölasku 135£/kk

aloin kuunnella ihan sokkona Spotifystä tällasta podcastia ku Halme & Saarinen - diginen iltapäivä. tämmönen jakso kuin "Päättääkö Spotify mitä kuuntelet" on eritoten mielenkiintoinen. ironiaa on tietty myös siinä että löysin tän podcastin Spotifyn "suosittelemana", se oli jollain trending listalla tms, niiden podcastien alla mitä olen jo lisännyt listalleni. mutta Spotify on aina ollut mielenkiintoinen koska se herättää intohimoja suuntaan jos toiseen...  itse lähdin heti siihen kelkkaan koska fyysisten levyjen osto ei miellyttänyt eikä muutenkaan kokonaisten levyjen, joita sillon jo digitaalisena sai kyllä. Spotifyn algoritmit tarjoilee minulle joka viikko uutta musiikkia joka on kiva, mutta toisaalta pysyn ja elän sitten tiiviisti siinä "kuplassani" - pahemmin kuin viherfemakkona facebookissa. onneksi lääkäri kuuntelee ja löytää jostain aina jotain 'erilaista' musaa joka vähän tuo väriä elämää. totta kai tykkään siitä musasta mitä kuuntelen mut välillä tuntuu et Spotifyn tarjoilu on menny vähän hötöks, lopputomia covereita jne. ehkä ihan joka viikolle ei löydä niin paljon uutta mielenkiintoista musaa (discover weekly), kuuntelenkin enempi niitä Made for you -osaston Daily Mixejä, ne on kivasti vähän jaoteltu tyyleittäin. 

luin äsken jostain (=facebookissa kaveri sanoi jossain keskstelussa) että vihreissä on jo ydinvoimaa puoltaviakin, tai ainakaan ei vastustavia. viimeksi kun asiasta kuulin, eli aika kauan sitten, ni vihreät oli just se puolue joka ydinvoimaa vihas. ja olenkin viime aikoina miettinyt tälleen taviksena, et olkoonkin et siinä on joku riski, ja sit ydinjätettä, ni ottaen tän ilmastonmuutostilanteen huomioon jotenki must se kuulostaa aika... kohtuulliselta vaihtoehdolta. ja kun se sähkö on sit (ainakin suomessa) suht halpaa. mitä ihmiset ei OLLENKAAN osaa arvostaa. jonkun kanssa puhuin viime kuussa joka päivitteli ettei se omakotitalossa kyllä ole niin edullista, mutta kaikkihan on suhteellista, jos nyt oikein muistan ni kyllä ne kuitenkin maksoi siitä vähemmän kuussa kuin me tässä kaupunkiasunnossa. suomen ja UK:n tulo- jne tasot ei toki oo ihan synkassa mutta tarpeeksi lähellä että voi vertailla numeroita noin summittain. anyway, sähkö on suomessa halpaa piste. ja sillä aikaa kun mietitään ja vatvotaan mihin ja miten ja jos vesi- tai tuulivoimaa sais rakennettua niin käytetään vaan ydinvoimaa, eiks?

luin myös hesarin yhtä kirja-arvostelua (Matti Klingen joku päiväkirja, hirvee sotku nimien ja kirjasarjojen kaa) jossa arvostelija hyvin nosti esiin sen että tää muuten fiksun oloinen tyyppi rinnasti suomen sote-sotkuja "vakaaseen Turkkiin". vakaaseen? lol. ehkä se etäältä näyttäytyy sellaisena, vaik mietin kyl et mitä uutisia se Klinga lukee? ja tää Klinga myös toteaa että "...ja siksi on hyvä, että Turkilla on määrätietoinen ja johdonmukainen johto." johdonmukaisuutta kyllä näen, siinä kuinka ihmisten oikeuksia ja sanan- sekä uskonnonvapautta poljetaan viimeiseen maanrakoon pikavauhtia. se ON johdonmukaista. yritän ymmärtää kirjoittaa, kyse on kai päiväkirjoista ja mäkin olen toki sanonut kaikenlaista vähemmän mietittyä ja fiksua vuosien aikana. olenpa minäkin nyökytellyt että hyvin saadaan turkin kaltaisessa maassa tehtyä sote-tyyppisia juttuja, kuten koko maan laajuinen IT-järjestelmä jossa kaikki potilastiedot, sähköiset reseptit jne, MUTTA ymmärrän sentään että se on siksi että yksinvaltiaan lailla toimiva presidentti ja hallitus voi vetää mutkat suoriksi ja kaikki 'tylsä' aikaavievä kilpailutus ja sen semmoinen mietintä voidaan skippaa...  joskus mietin et olisku jopa joku välimuoto realistinen, ettei kaikkea vatvottais vuosikymmeniä, mutta silti tehtäis asiallisesti... ehkei, tai se onnistuu maissa kuten Viro jossa ei ole liian pajon vanhaa jota pitää muokata tai purkaa tms. mut et joo, jotkut tuollaiset asiat onnistuu turkissa joskus ihan hyvin, mutta sillä on hintansa kyllä. suomalaiset riehuu samaan aikaan että suomessa on ihan hirrrrveetä korruptiota...  ja korruptioo voi ollakin mutta mittaluokka on  niin eri, ettei se mene ihmisen jakeluun.

ja suomen hallitus erosi. ehkä olen tosi ignorant mut eiks ne edustkuntavaalit oo just tulossa, joiden seurauksena tulis uus hallitus anyway? yhyy sote ei onnistunut ja periaatteet ja...  voi voi. en kaipaa tähän nyt mitään tällästä hallituksen ero -sotkua. mutta liian myöhäistä. jos ei dramaa ole ni sitä pitää kai keksiä sitten.



March 07, 2019

waking up to adulthood

me and doctor watched the documentary Rocco on netflix. well done docu. im not a fan of Rocco's style of porn, so i was interested in if the docu would make me understand him at all, or see what he is about. i think it a did a little. at least it was an interesting watch.

im turning 39 next week. which made me realise... im turning 40 next year! that explains a lot, like how i so often lately feel like "im too old for that shit" or generally feel like an adult in a situation or while looking at something (facebook drama, reality tv, etc). the downside is, i think it might be affecting how much i enjoy reality tv. its changing in general to suit the expectations of the audience i think, and the people on these shows were perhaps always quite young, but as im getting older im just further and further removed from it all and frowning half the time... its just not working that well. i need to find programs for the middle aged, perhaps?

my toe is less and less sore so its slowly healing as expected. a few more weeks of flat shoes.... hanging in here, but its trying my patience. 

the new puzzle im working on.

these Kickstarter campaigns...oh man. so popular. i think a lot of people dont realise they might or might not get whatever they invest in, a product or such. or they might wait for it for a year or two or however long. of course, some uncertainty can make it exciting, and i think a part of the attraction is that you are helping a startup, so you have more patience and understanding. but people shuld be more aware that when they decide to invest in a Kickstarter campaign, they need to be prepared to lose the money too. although i dont think that happens too happen. well i hope it doesnt.

ive FINALLY warmed up to podcasts a bit. slowly, but surely. first it was Reality Steve, one episode here or there. in other words, very light gossipy entertainment. then ive tried a couple of other similar (Bachelor/ette) related ones. and most recently some tech related ones, like Darknet Diaries. 

other promising ones:
My Favorite Murder by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark 
Radio Sodoma (finnish)
mitä vielä, Ronja Salmi? (finnish)

there are many things in this article that i recognise, poor title is not one of them
"How it feels to have 'millennial burnout'" https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/c384d54a-0116-437f-83e8-ddbca65b6c06

March 03, 2019

kohta on äänestämisen aika

mä en oikeestaan digaa vaalikoneista. tai hyvää asiaahan ne ajaa mutta ne on aika epätäydellisiä. ongelma on se että mulla voi olla mielipide vaikka NATOsta tai koulutusleikkauksista, mut sit oikeesti en tiedä eläkejutuista mitään joten en haluaisi et mun klikki vaalikoneessa vaikuttais tulokseen, ja luultavastihan klikkaan sitä "keskinappia" kun en tiedä, joten saan sit tulokseksi jonkun politiikon joka ei ehkä myöskään tiedä siitä mitään tai on aika undecided??  monet kysymyksethän koskee etuja ja rahojen osittamista johonkin. joo ainahan kaikkeen on helppo haluta lisää rahaa, lisää kaikkea kaikille, lapsille, nuorille, työttömille, jne... mut oikeestihan se ei oo ihan niin helppoo kun rahaa ei sada taivaasta. mut monissa asioissa haluisinki äänestää henkilöä jonka kuvittelen tai toivon tietävän niistä asioista joista mä en tiedä, ja sit on mun kaa samaa mieltä joistain asioista. ihan nyt esimerkkinä Hesarin vaalikoneessa eka kysymys "1. Valtion täytyy sijoittaa valtion työpaikkoja nykyistä enemmän pääkaupunkiseudun ulkopuolelle." jaa-a. kaiken keskittyminen Helsinkiin ei ole tervettä, mutta en tiedä mikä tilanne realistisesti nyt on, et mihin suuntaan pitäs vetää. joten klikkaan "3" keskeltä. oikeesti, jos mul olis tarpeeksi tietoo ni valitsisin varmaan jotain muuta. pitäs pystyä klikkaa et "vastaustani tähän kysymykseen ei lasketa mukaan tuloksiin". koska kun noita kysymyksiä on tarpeeks niin mun vaalikoneen tulos heijastelee paljon sitä mistä en tiedä mitään... mukava nähdä et joku SDP:n tyyppi on myös 'keskitien' kulkija monessa mut haluunko sit äänestää sellasta...?  en. lol. sen perusteella mitä seuraan uutisia ja suomen politiikkaa niin tiedän että vihreät on keskimäärin samaa mieltä mun kanssa monista olennaisista asioista. ja toivon että ne jutut mistä mä en tiedä ni mun ehdokas tietää tai osaa selvittää - tai puoluetasolla ainakin...koska vaikea on kenenkään olla asiantuntija kaikessa. se, että ne yrittää kansallisella tasolla viedä asioita ekologisempaan suuntaan, on varmaan ihan hyvä vaan koska henk koht tasolla en ole siinä parhaimmistoa. no oikeastaan on itsepetosta sanoa noin. se aina unohtuu kun uutiset ja media pyörii kaikkien muovipillien ympärillä, että mun lapsettomuus on The Ekoteko. eli oikeastaan olen aika vihreä? mut niin noi eduskuntavaalit. sain postissa kirjeäänestyssetin, eli osallistun sillä keinoin. äänestäisin mieluummin UK:n vaaleissa kun täällä asun mutta säännöt on säännöt. kiva että edes jonkun maan asioihin saa vaikuttaa. mun ääneni menee todennäköisesti Ozan Yanarille.

Anna Puu on kyllä herttainen. olen Voicessa siis vaan katsellut, en muuten sillee tunne. mut mitä enemmän Annaa kuuntelee niin sitä paremman fiiliksen siitä saa, aidon ja ihanan oloinen. tällä Voice-kaudella on kans Sipe tullu ruutuun. sekin lämmittää, ihan samanlainen se on kuin yli 20 vuotta sitten ja hymyilyttää kun näen tyypin.

onko vähän ironista että se Daruden Look Away esitetään nimenomaan Israelissa...?

March 02, 2019

optimist for once in my life

Labour is considering a 2nd referendum an option and May admits delaying article 50 is possible. finally. there is hope. i will not lose my hope. actually, the worse it gets, the more hope there is, people will wake up to the shitshow and look for options. its cost billions already i assume, but calling all this off IS an option.
/optimism

last sunday we went to Natural History Museum. its so huge though, we just had a glimpse of the human history and birds and stones and stuff. have to go back some time.


the same sunday, we had drinks at a lebanese place before going to Jamie Olivers for dinner, with Can & Burcu. i like Jamie Oliver's restaurants, simple and cozy with an okay price point...

we went to the boardgame "cafe" Draughts with some  finnish friends. Evelina knows board games well, it turns out, so we played a train related game. and i am eager to go back cos we had a good time.


i might or might not have been tasked with spreading the word of Pub Sirdie abroad. could be anyone, actually. they hand out stickers to pretty much everyone visiting the pub, i hear. so not surprising if u run into it in london, too. 



reminders to self:
-dont drink 1h before bed (waking up to go pee sucks)
-matte nail polishes never stay matte

positive things:
-me & doctor dont need dessert bowls or plates cos we dont really eat dessert
-museums are free of charge
-finnish people tend to be trustworthy


buying a first home is daunting for anyone, let alone when youre ina different country. there is so much to learn. doesnt help that im one one of those people who try to understand and control everything. its not possible. i feel like my "culture shock" has happened in waves and this is/will be one of them. banks, brokers, solicitors, stamp duty, leasehold, service charge, council tax band... the list is endless. math is not my strong point, although i am pretty good in daily budgeting and stuff, but trying to understand interest rates gives me a headache. there is a initial rate, fixed or variable, then the rate after, then they calculate APR, then this and that...  and to understand how the value of a property can rise or fall due to recession and a million other factors and how to possibly count in different scenarios... and there is a part where i am also trying to find my place in this society and in relation to everyone else. choosing a home and reflecting on what people here value as a “home” is what does it, im asking who am i here? who am i based on what we possibly choose?do we choose based on what we want or based on what is valued and expected to gain value?

i watched IO on Netflix. how disappointing! ok, basic near future deserted earth scenario. but then there is this girl - who looks like she is 16 but she is 'all scientist' - brainwashed by her father and she latches from from guy to another... meh. and then, to spoil everything, she’s supposedly like the next step in evolution and of course has this kid (on purpose), very carefree of the kids future & health, kinda lets push one out in the hope that it will live. as i said, brainwashed. re-populating the earth so bravely... and obsessed with myths & museums..  it was not believable. and it was disappointing that her lunacy was "rewarded", suggesting her father - the idol - was right. who cares if millions died due to his obsessive optimism when the scientists own daughter then is "the new beginning" of life on earth.

something to read

February 17, 2019

my tv day

today was a tv day, i decided. i wanted a a brain free day. although when i started with Larry Charles' Dangerous Word of Comedy, it was pretty heavy pretty quick. its really good though, gave me a lot to think about.

Larry Charles' Dangerous Word of Comedy 3eps
The Breaker Upperers 1ep
Dating Around  2ep
Proven Innocent 0.5ep
Big Bang Theory 1ep
Dating Around 1ep
Ken Jeong: You Complete Me Ho

Dating Around was interesting, looked like a reality show but wasnt. somehow relatable. Ken Jeong was so-so, semi-funny. but the theme was his career and name dropping, it seemed, and the "fanny shaming" joke was in poor taste. its 2019, the audience needs a bit more than that. 

i was in finland for little over a week. work. but party too. there was one work related party, and Arttu and me celebrated our YYA Treaty 10 year renewal. we'd invited some of the people we did 10 years ago and it was nice to celebrate amongst old friends, very small get together though. i also saw a couple friends, but managed to have a lot of free evenings, just chilling. i bought rye bread and Lumene foundation to bring back with me, and lonkero and sausage for doctor. something weeeeird happened at work. not objectively out-of-this-world weird, but for me personally, im still flabbergasted. so i was at the clients office, where i visit every time i go to helsinki. although its been several times now, its still a bit odd and i still occasionally meet people ive only seen in email threads or heard on calls. anyway so im sitting there working away when the IT lead and some others come around and i realise they want to talk to me. in so many words they thanked me for the work i have done and do for them and ...i dont even remember exactly, i was just so shocked and frozen and wanted to cry. they gave me some branded stuff as a token of their gratitude, and then i was just sitting there like an idiot. could barely work for the next hour or so cos i was still fighting to keep tears at bay! i think i can maybe blame my therapy for me becoming softer? but it was emotional because i would just never expect anything like that. i also really like working for and with them and i really want to do a good job at it.

one evening i proceeded to pull the stitches from my calf, it was time! like, what else was i gonna do with them, i was not in London? they were bloody tight and the procedure was not bloodless. one of them was hiding and got stuck and i couldnt get it out. i felt failed. so the next day i went to the health station to see a nurse about it. she wasnt able to remove it either. so while it wasnt fun, she had to poke around quite a bit, at least i felt like it wasnt just "my failure", it was just a tough one. she said i can let it be, it will come out some day. doctor, over whatsapp, said he thinks the same, so i'm just ignoring it now. it looks ok, or like, its gonna be ok once the dryness subsides;

while im at it, my toe is progressing too. bruising is going away and its feeling less and less sore. and that tape needs changing.

at the airport, it s interesting to see which newspapers and magazines are pushing themselves by giving out free copies like this. Catholic Herald lol?

from a magazine (Stylist). i grinned... 


 Helsinki and people going to work (me included).

A Health Station in Helsinki (the new one in Kalasatama)

always happy to come back home. to doctor. to my own bed. the comfort of everything, ah...

February 03, 2019

i feel like i want to do something with my hands again, like jewellery or something

busy weekend, finnish pub might and movie club with Arttu and all sorts of stuff. the movie we watched, Roma, was pleasing just for the hyper real feeling and cinematography alone. the characters  left me cold and the story was sometimes confusing. lots of things that i thought were probably symbolic, but i dont get that stuff at all, so. but yeah, it was still pleasing and easy to watch.

i spent wednesday at the hospital cos i was scheduled to have the remainers of that pesky cyst on my calf removed. i was naive enough to think i'd be called in and it would be done. clearlt, i havent learned anything yet, brits looove their bureurcracy and processes. i was called in by a nurse just after 11, which was my appt time. she asked everything from allergies to height to when i'd last eaten. also told me i need to remove all jewellery. the questions seemed designed for a full anesthesia. and i'd opted for just local. anyway, the more unnecessary work, the better they like it. so then i wait 2 hours and get seen by 2 plastic surgeons just to basically conclude, yes, we will do this surgery today. then i wait another 2 hours and get called in for surgery, or so i think. i get to wear  hospital gown and wait in a cubicle for another 2 bloody hours, alone, since doctor was left in the waiting area. then i finally get to the operating theatre. big room. 7 people staff there. what a show. one nurse is lathering my leg with yellow cleaning stuff. the lead surgeon is drawing on my calf. the other one is chatting with me, cos to be honest i was freaking out a bit, it was  along and emotionally draining day. anyway, after local anesthesia it was smooth sailing. then i assumed i'd get out. but no! i was taken to recovery. there they wanted me to eat and drink, as i had been fasting all day for full anesthesia. which i hadnt. and they checked vitals and stuff. and then... i thought i'd get to go change and leave. but no, i was taken to a ward. where they checked the same vitals and shuffled some more papers. at least at this point they went to get doctor from the waiting room and we were reunited. then, finally, i was able to change and go. what a day. they all worked for my benefit, taking care of me, so i appreciate the good care, it was just excessive and so inefficient i wanted to cry. doctor was not as surprised, he deals with this every (work)day...

 I removed the bandage today.

as if i hadnt suffered enough on wednesday, yesterday i hit my toe on the leg of a chair. and that happens every now and then. but this time it left my toe wonky, like heading to the wrong direction. not cute. i felt disheveled and disappointed. i keep breaking?!  anyway, life has to go on. doctor put the toe in the right place and its buddied up to the next toe now for support and will be for the next month it seems. bruised, swollen and sore to walk on. and i think no high heels for a while...  sucks. despite the toe drama we had a nice sushi night with Avner & Elmor.

oh and i went to a podiatrist on friday. first time ever. very good experience. i wanted advise on recurring dry feet (ive had even cracks appear). i got that and then some. might go again some day. 


good stuff:
-sleeping in peace now that the construction yard is gone, heavenly
-my team mate (doctor) is pretty amazing
-vietnamese food

a dinner with Samantha.

i was watching Russian Doll (which was interesting but a bit too artsy at times) and found it odd when Nadia started avoiding the stairs. like, i would go down by sitting down, on each step one by one... at least she couldve tried?

January 26, 2019

better late than never

our luggage showed up, nearly 2 weeks late. i was ready to file a claim, which u can do 21 days later as its officially declated 'lost' and not late. when i looked into this, the nasty surprise was that for either airline or insurance company to compensate anything (ie. 50% of the value..) they want receipts. who has a receipt for a tshirt they bought 3 years ago? we wouldve have barely any receipts...! without proof of purchase it's like the bag and its contents dont exist. i was mentally prepared to start replacing items, so it was almost weird when the bag arrived. the last call that i made to British Airways was me obviously asking "wtf?!" in a nicer way, and them putting me on hold while they called airports and putting it out there to look for this bag. they already knew it was a black backbag, but asked about any brand names or other things on it, and i said no its just plain black, its a british army issue deployent bag, so. at the end of the call he said "thank you for your service", lol. i know it must be a coincidence, but next morning when i checked the online tracking, it said its been found and on its way. it arrived ina couple hours. honestly i had forgotten it was a british army bag, i reclaled it being israeli army - i probably looked at theirs too. this was eBay 10 years ago.
yay, bag is home!



i wonder how it works in english language; when do 2 words become one? like pushup bra?

Netflix had Kevyn Aucoin documentary, that was like a flash from the past because i had a book or 2 of his. I certainly appreciated his work. 

miten tää brexit

politiikassa mukana ollut kaverini kirjoitteli facessa kävelykeskustan laajentamisesta ja muistelin kuinka hän muiden muassa myös on ollut ajamassa sitä että hämeentie rauhoitettaisiin. en muista oliko se kokonaan autoilta vai vain yksityisautoilulta vai miten...  ylipäätään en ole kiinnostunut kävelykeskustoista ym... luulisi että lähes kortittomana (turkkilainen ajokortti on ehkä puolikas?) ja muutenkin autovastaisena allekirjoittaisin nämä jutut mutta ei. se voi olla sellainen "no tää on aina ollu näin ni olkoon", mähän olen hieman muutosvastainen tunnetusti. mutta etenkin hämeentietä koskien, sillä kadulla asuneena en kannata sen sulkemista autoliikenteeltä. tekisihän se siitä hiljaisemman, mutta jos joku muuttaa hämeentielle hiljaisuuden perässä niin sitten on ihan oma moka. totta puhuen en usko että niin kukaan tekee. hämeentieltä pääsee kätevästi kallion 'sisälmyksiin' tai ulkoa tullessa myös keskustaan. en väitä etteikö sörkän rantatie olisi siihen vaihtoehto, mutta tarviiko rajata vaihtoehtoja? mulle kurvin liikennehärdelli (tosin aika pientä se on, mutta helsingin mittakaavassa) on myös jotenkin rakas ja siksi antaisin sen olla ennallaan. varmaan hämeentien rauhoittajilla on useitakin syitä idealleen mutta yhtä lailla mulla on oikeus mielipiteeseeni. paikallisvaaleissa en taida enää saada äänestää, mutta perinteisestihän olen äänestänyt vihreitä ja siten tuossa on hieman epäloogisuutta mutta on niitä arvoja ja asioita muitakin. ei voi olla aina samaa mieltä edes suosikkipuolueensa kanssa. ekologisuus ei muutenkaan ole korkealla mun listalla, mutta ehkä vihreiden äänestys onkin sellaista anekauppaa sitten mulle? odotan että päättäjät tekevät päätöksiä ja tekoja mun puolesta, sellaisia jotka ovat ympäristölle hyväksi. pakottavat vaikka maksamaan muovikasseista, niinkuin on tehty, tai järjestävät pullopanttia tai jotain muuta. nyt kun vielä kierrätys olisi sillä mallilla että kaikki kierrätettävät jutut voisi laittaa yhteen laariin ja joku toinen erottelisi ne. kotona roskien lajittelu on ihan viho viimeistä, en ole ikinä tykännyt. joku jälkilajittelusysteemi on kai UK:ssa monissa paikoissa ja nyt meidänkin taloyhtiössä, siis päätellen siitä että pahvi+lasi+kova muovi laitetaan kaikki yhteen kierrätyslootaan. tai ehkä ne vaan hinataan kiinaan, ken tietää. mutta tää on vielä reasonable, se kuuden eri roskiksen ylläpito kalliolaisyksiössä ei ollut. eikä se multa ihan kauheen hyvin luonnistunutkaan.

suomalaisten kanssa, työkaverit ym, tulee nyt jatkuvasti kysymystä brexitistä. et miten brexit-britannia... vaikka olen toisaalta lukenut paljon aiheesta ja seurannut sitä ja mulla on erittäin vahvoja  mielipiteitä asiasta, muutimme kuitenkin tänne tietoisesti brexit äänestyksen jälkeen ja turkin sopissa keitettynä otan tämän ehkä aika coolisti kuitenkin. voi tulla ongelmia, lamaa, ken ties... mutta en usko että mitään mikä oikeasti pysäyttäis ihmisiä rajoilla tai pilais elämää tyystin. edelleen tämä on suht vakaa demokratia vaikka täällä on omat ongelmansa ja politiikassa on paljon idioottikonservatismia ja muuta...  uskon että pitkällä tähtäimellä maa ei joudu täysin hunningolle. no, sehän jää nähtäväksi. ja tietysti mä jaksan toivoa myös että kelkka kääntyisi vielä. koska todella; aina tosiaan saa toivoa.

olen niin kiitollinen että vastapäinen rakennus viimein valmistui ja se loputon rakennustyömaameteli loppui. se koetteli hermoja ja varmaan vaikutti yleisesti hyvinvointiin... onhan se tutkittu että jatkuva meteli aiheuttaa stressiä.

The Voice Finland etenkin on niin hyvän mielen ohjelma. Toniahan kuuntelee mieluusti muutenkin kun se on semmoinen sanaseppo ja Anna Puu on aidon herttainen, mutta nyt on kans hauska kun siinä on niin paljo mamuja, ja itse mamuna yllättäen tuo tultuu läheiseltä aiheelta... ihanaa kun ne menestyy.

January 17, 2019

new year and all that

so we had a nice trip to Vietnam. Ho Chi Minh City and Mui Ne. relaxing and fun - one of the best holidays possibly. i enjoyed films and documentaries on the long flights so that was pretty good too. on the way back Swiss/BA lost our bag though, a biiiit of a bummer. they are still searching for it. obviously it doesnt hold the most valuable things ever, but now that ive looked into what airlines and insurance companies compensate for lost luggage... im annoyed. even though its likely they will still find it. on the flight to HCMC i watched The Quiet Place on the flight. i couldn’t get over how idiotic it is to have a baby if you live in a world where any sound could get u killed. it made for a good story line but it was also the quietest baby ever which just... wasnt very realistic. had the baby resembled a real one in terms of noise, it would have been veeeery short lived.


beach time

a lot of good food was eaten. for the record, i did not empty that bottle of vodka on the table. 

Saigon sunset

brexit then, thats a shit show. but in a way thats good... because in a shit show, there is a chance of reversal. maybe a new referendum. at least extending article 50. anything could happen! lots of opportunities to fix this. im further dismayed by Corbyn though. not sure i could ever vote for Labour after this because i find his obsessive Brexit stance so off-putting.

people who react to me living in london by saying “london is so expensive! you can live so much better with that money somewhere else”. its like...really? youd think i know that cos i live in london, right? but thanks for sharing. its obvious no one forced me to london and if someone wants to think id move to Hertfordshire if only i knew how cheap it is...  be my guest. but i rather not hear these stories over and over again. i can make my own choices about where i live, and if i want to splurge my money on london rents, how about you just let me? and to be clear i dont mind the one liner “oh, London, its really expensive”. that’s like “oh, Helsinki, its really cold.” like, ok.  i just dont need the speech about cost of life elsewhere, suggesting that im either very uneducated or very stupid.

i used to like Any.do. but then it went on steroids like Evernote, adding a feature after feature and now its just too much. it still looks okay but i feel like the usability went down. and one downside it always had is that it's not good for writing longer noters or even sentences. so ive started looking at Google Keep. it seems easy enough, and smooth.

the past year was not great, i had too many health issues. one thing after another. and i STILL have a bronchitis. but i admit, although i was pulled down by these things, there were lots of positives too. my work developed into a better direction, with a bit more hours and new client and such. both our salaries increased a bit which made us more comfortable. we did a couple of nice trips. and especially at the end of the year our relationship got better somehow, i feel more connected now than perhaps a year ago. 2019 is off to a decent start. gotta kill the cough somehow though, seeing a GP tomorrow, we think some investigation is needed...

the automatic metro in east london (Docklands Light Railway) is cool cos if you sit in the front you have a view ahead. 


and i saw Ricky Gervais yesterday!! im such a fangirl. it was a work in progress thing so the tickets were 15£. i went with Avner cos doctor was not able to swap his night shift. there were some jokes about trans people and #metoo that i hope dont make it to the final set, at least in their current form, cos u know, i guess im one of those precious snowflakes, but overall it was super fun and i look forward to the finished snow (SuperNature).

December 29, 2018

post christmas

on monday i focused on my finnish christmas, doctor had managed to get the day off work so we went to a latin restaurant for a christmas lunch. then scoured Southbank christmas market and in the evening headed to Clapham North for a pub dinner with some turkish friends. they don't really care about christmas obviously but i was happy and felt like i was celebrating with family. well, i think everyone enjoyed it more less. on the 25th i enjoyed a british Christmas at Allan's and with a few other friends - doctor was working.

fish & chips may not be christmassy but thats what i felt like eating. the company is what mattered the most.


at our christmas party thingy a couple weeks back a friend mentioned how im her "idol" on social media. she referred to my activity in the 2 facebook groups we are both members of, as i barely have any other social media activity. her comment took me by surprise. she said that i always come off as understanding and conciliatory, rising above trolls and taking the high road. i mean yeah i would like to see myself as doing those things, but i wouldnt expect it to be noticeable or meaningful enough for someone to notice. not to mention respecting me for that. i think it mustve been one of the nicest things ive ever been told. having been in "social media" (if described as any social internet era activity) since 00's i think i got a head start and then by the time FB got popular i had already gone through the stages of getting provoked and reacting and all that stuff. basically, i had learned my lessons. i was never the most argumentative person around but surely had a shorter fuse some 10-15 years ago. and, i was younger too. age comes with some benefits, ive noticed. as judgemental as i have been, its interesting how ive been changing over the years, the edges just getting softer and softer...

british class structure still baffless me. i sarted reading Owen Jones' Chavs and it's giving me a good insight on working class and how it's looked down upon now. but it also lead me to google a bit. i found a BBC "class calculator". oddly enough, its not just about money - maybe im naive but i thought class was mainly about that - it asks about whether you know any postal workers or lorry drivers and whether you listen to jazz or go to theatre. okay, i can see how certain things go together, still, i was surprised at how its calculated. we seem to be some sort of middle class (there are several types). i get different result depending on whether i know an artist or not, and whether i go to gigs. both are sort of debatable so im not sure what to say.

i met Jim tonight. i know Jim from deviantart originally, i dont remember his username though. he is visiting his family for the holidays and i find it weird that i ended up in his home country while he himself does not live here anymore. also reminded me i dont have any new male friends since i moved to UK. its hard to meet people since i work from home but nevertheless its a bit sad i think.

December 26, 2018

christmas time

is Sex Pistols christmas msusic? for me, this morning, it is. a few songs is sufficient though, im such a wuss i need to then move on to something more chill.

our christmas lights. the red lights are not really that amazing but if you turn the lights off they help light the room a bit.

me and doctor have found our thing, its stand up comedy. we used to watch something on tv here and there, but after moving to london we found it "in full". weve seen great stuff. i was enjoying Netflix offering the other night. Vir Das is funny, i learned. but as a consequence, netflix is now pushing me indian everything. indian drama. indian action. more indian stand up comedy. it's like a virus. to be fair, theres also more of other minorities, and thats positive at least. but its awkward how the suggestions changed magically after watching one show. Daniel Sloss is great as well. hilariously dark, non-PC humour. im pondering if we should get tickets to his show in february. following the Ricky Gervais tickets i booked us to see Frankie Boyle too. we've seen him before. doesnt get tiring.

NYT: Elif Safak on toxic imperial nostalgia. which is familiar to me from both Turkey and UK.  so true.

we got this new bookshelf thanks to me. i got it in my head that we need a slightly industrial style bookshelf, wire is great in that it lets light through and doesnt look as heavy as a traditional bookshelf. i googled some options and ended up with Lockers R Us. you can pick from different sizes and depths and styles, and from a few colours. i emailed them to ask if they could remove some of the "walls" and if we could get doors in some. everything was absolutely doable. below its just arrived, i put a few items in. we since moved the lamp elsewhere and cleaned up that mess with the cables...

we had a christmassy get together for friends. i went above and beyond my skills and did these prawn and salmon toasts, along with some salads and other things. doctor made turkish kisir.

its no party without salmari. it turned out great.

i got a flower delivery. one of the biggest shocks in my life, and i dont even need to exaggarate. i was so utterly confused i was suspicious. but there was a card explaining everything. Jess & Ollie whom i showed around Helsinki for a weekend thanked me for being 'the best tour guide'. thats ridiculously sweet of them. i almost cried, lol.

a month or two ago i found a mirror on the street leaning on to our building's gate. it seemed quite sturfy and good wuality, but with wooden gold frames, poor thing. my first instict was paint but then i started feeling lazy and stingy and came up with a much better solution; black duct tape. we already had that so it took just a few minutes to give the mirror an artsy frame.

christmas!

a fun game from Can & Burcu. we are of that age where we sit down with friends and have wine and snacks and pretend all adult.


Southbank has a christmas market and lots going on on Saturday

i love this secondhand bookstore (Bookmongers). and this cat made me feel like i was in Istanbul again. 


Aeon: Marriage is both anachronistic and discriminatory
Vox: What Serena Williams’s scary childbirth story says about medical treatment of black women (i barely know she is a tennis star, but thats not the point - i have many articles around this, women of colour tend to get poorer treatment)
NY Times on Helsinki's new library
BBC: how the finnish survive without small talk

plus a christmas gift:
Guardian: British pet shops banned from selling puppies & kittens