only a reflection

ive been alone this weekend as doctor flew to dublin on friday morning to hang out with his friends. he is returning late tonight so i decided to vacuum the whole flat. he usually does that when im away - its nice to come to a clean home.  he'll be home way after ive gone to sleep so i asked him to cuddle me so id know. 

on friday i dined with Aleks and Raissa in Canary Wharf. yesterday Jess invited me to eat out with her family - always glad to see them all, esp Juliet as I will be her godmother. big responsibility and a big  honour. after that i met with Aseel and we ended up going dancing at the local gay club. here she is; 

i have been hosting Ceri's cat Pippin while she is traveling. Pippin is very well behaved and loves cuddling, but is also veeeery talkative. i have had to use my noise cancelling headphones at times...

i went to see Heretic with Nicola and his friend Tim. im not a big horror fan (anymore) but the topic of religion and Hugh Grant's role pulled me in. i liked the first half a lot, but from there onwards i found it too "basic", and less believable.

my most recent favorite song:
Manchester Orchestra: The Silence (spotify link)

fur and wrinkles

 Samantha and Eva chilling. they left on thursday.

i have been lately getting allergic reactions randomly, hives and itchiness that comes out of nowhere and then calms down on its own. then it doesnt happen for a while and then suddenly appears again. the bodys immune system reacting like this is not too unusual, and i dont find it worrying. but dr knows that in 1/50 000 or whatever it could just get way worse and he prescribed me an epipen. we agree its an excessive measure but then again, why not. mostly its just annoying, suddenly being covered in red spots or welts and feeling uncomfortable.

dr cooks these recipe boxes and the food tends to turn out really good.

i came across this video, not familiar with the "school of greatness" and dont care but Esther Perel is amazing "unconditional love is a myth"  she is so smart and knowledgeable when it comes to relationships.

i went to see The Substance with Ceri last night. the theme of aging and pressure to stay looking young was what drew me in. i could relate to some of it as ive been keenly observing changes in myself the past few years. the style of the film kind of started changing half way through though and i didnt find direction and especially last querter particularly interesting even if i apreciated the homage to Carrie and other details. i did find that the movie was a bit too obvious about its messaging, but that was a stylistic choice as well i guess. and i dont have to link it. some of the visuals were great though and again, i recognised a lot in when it comes to seeing changes in yourself and how the world seems to judge women. ive found that what im attracted to definitely ages with me, Demi Moore looked amazing imo and i find myself thinking 40+ men are at their best. 30+ can look good too but 20+ guys (or girls) look like kids.  

nailpolish

dr turned 45 this week and i took him to this illusion art experience thing and eating out after.

this wet wipe package (by Cushelle) says biodegredable and flushable. i wouldnt flush these either way but since we had a pack i thought i'd test and let one wipe sit in a glass of tea and water for a week. mixing occasionally and picking it up to see if it would break apart on touch or pulling, nope. some small fibers came off but it kept its form fully. gross.

a woman plotting her course to freedom

we had a date night last night and went to see Poor Things before a dinner in a nearby Georgian restaurant. i had just watched the trailer but forgotten most of it so i was going almost blind. i have seen  Lanthimos' earlier film Lobster so i did in a way have high expectations. anyway i really loved Poor Things. it was inspiring and feminist and i left the cinema with a smile. how often do we see female main characters whose life goal isn't to be married and whose story doesnt entirely jus depend on "the guy"? also it was sex positive and thought evoking. so, i will be recommending it to everyone. maybe i shouldspend rest of tonight watching another Lanthimos film that i missed previously, like The Killing of a Sacred Deer. ppl have also told me to watch Leave the World Behind.

today was presidential election day in finland, one of those times when its practical to be 2h behind finland, i'll see the results before my bedtime. wow, that makes me sound like such an old person. but sundays are just crucial to setting the tone for the week, going to bed early etc. im sleeping really poorly lately tho, waking up here and there. it was better for a moment but back to shit now. as if my ability to focus wasnt already impaired... being sleep deprived doesnt help. i tink getting 2 separate mattresses did help tho, i feel dr moving less and at least wont wake up to that - as often. 

i voted by mail in the election, but for the 2nd round i'll be in a hurry to post my vote. letters can travel in 3 days between the countries but the finnish post is so notoriously unreliable these days i dont trust it much. it tends to take a week. and its bold to blame the finnish post instead of royal mail, but really, that is where the problem most likely lies. royal mail is one of the (very) few things functioning smoothly in this country. in finland id say its visa versa.

our dinner at The Georgian last night.

another dinner... at The Windmill pub nearby. me and Aseel shared a vegan plate that was huge.

last year me and dr wrote appreciative notes and other positive thoughts and put them in this jar. the other week we sat down and actually read them. a lot of memories came back. it was a nice excercise.

barbie girl

stuff i wonder about (and will probably google if i get around to it) 

why is japanese history so detailed from so long ago? or am i just imagining that it's very detailed? did they have paper or what? when was paper even invented?

do all headboards attach with the same system? 

do moth repellents actually work or are they a scam? 

 

i saw Barbie this week with Arttu. i dressed in pink with pink heels & make up to get into the mood. i am very happy this film was made, its attitude and that its so popular. at the risk of sounding obnoxious, some of the feminism was quite 101 and basic. as much as i liked Gloria's "monologue" it seemed forced. however again considering the large audience its intended for it makes sense and i think it can change the world a tiny bit. so, overall good. inserting the inventor also seemed forced tho, especially the talk at the end she gave to Barbie. so cringe. and the weird flashback type of sequence with a lot of motherhood... err. also Barbie's gyno visit made me wonder what it meant and if it was about becoming a mom. or just getting reconstructive surgery to have female bits. what i really also liked was ken's song "Just a Ken". very catchy. also appreciate Mattels' humour in how they presented themselves. yeah lots of fun, good stuff.

these photos of phone screens are i guess voyeurism, but oh so delicious https://www.newyorker.com/culture/photo-booth/the-photographer-peeking-at-your-phone?

on friday i went to this cocktail experience with Raissa & Aleks, with actors and a storyline and stuff, it was fun.

yesterday we met Can & Burcu in Crystal Palace for some walking, drinks & food. and altho sundays are my me days, we met with our new neighbours. they turned out to be a really nice couple. 

i think it takes 2 weeks for a tan to fade, at least i hope so

reporting:
our new boiler seems to be a bit more efficient as expected, our gas use is slightly lower than before. but weather is a factor too so i will have to follow longer. the screenshot is old now but we were away for 2 weeks in thailand so that factors in too...

now, right after our holiday, doctor is off to a meditation retreat, without a phone, so i am at home keeping myself entertained. and that is something im good at. im really into this james bond podcast (James Bond A-Z podcast) atm and it makes me go back and look at the scenes they talk about etc - really very good podcast.

doctor is now a british citizen and i had my life in the UK exam last month. his process somehow propelled me towards the application too. its a weird mental process, i wasnt sure if i would ever feel like i want to do this. to become british. to say i am british and feel genuine about it. but then life happens. i feel like there is space for another identity in me besides finnish. for the exam, i did in the end devote several hours to studying (memorizing, really). wanted to make sure i pass. next would be the english exam. i think i wont have to study for that lol.doctor is waiting for his first passport and one thing is certain; he wont need to be embarrassed over his passport pic. cos i took it.

this is a week of foreign visitors. siettie from singapore was here so i saw her quickly, its been many years since we lasy (and first) met so it was fun to catch up. also a finnish friend Elina is in town to see theatre & related stuff. ill prolly visit a museum with her and have a few drinks.

thailand was great, soooo warm. especially the water. i love floating. and swim up rooms are my new favorite thing. we were in the south this time, Krabi and Khao Lak. went to some islands, jungle, cooking class (it was my birthday gift!) and muay thai match. and the rest of the time mostly just chilling and eating good food.

7000sqm swimming pool!

beach of course!

island!

more beach!

muay thai!

beach dinners!

swim up gold!

we cooked ourselves!

amazing food!

kind of beach!

nigh chilling!

ok maybe i overdid it with the exclamation marks, but once i started i had to keep going. 

on the 13h flights there and back i watched/enjoyed some films on board:
Torn 9/10
Invictus 8/10
The Accountant 6/10
Zootropolis 9/10 (it was about a bunny who wanted to become a cop! ok heres the trailer)
Kong vs Godzilla 7/10
Pornhub (on netflix) 7/10

i also watched bits ofs ome films like Justice League. there was something really funny in it; when newly recruited Flash gets into Bruce Wayne's car and asks "so whats your superpower?" and he replies "i'm rich". i mean, at least he has self awareness lol.

now im re-energised and busy at work.i was talking with someone (random) in thailand who said how 'bleh' it is to return to work after a nice holiday. while i sort of understand the sentiment...after all it would be nice if the fun could go on forever, i dont necessarily feel exactly the same. like yes, its bleh to wake up early, and it's bleh to sometimes be frustrated about something work related and so forth... i tend to be quite cheery when i return to work. i take it as a good sign, i trust my gut.

really good article on SBF/Alameda/Effective Altruism movement in Time.

alone with Bond

i built up a lot of excitement for the new Bond film. maybe too much so. high expectations mean potential heartbreak when theyre not met. and thats what happened. a few people have asked me "was it good?" and thats a fair, generic question, but its not that simple for me. there is a lot of good and bad in it for me, but more of the latter. yet, based on reviews for most it seems to have been mostly the former with just some minor disappointments at most. so i feel quite alone, like ive been robbed of something. i know im not the only one thats unhappy, ive been to Reddit where the division is clear, but i'd really rather share my thoughts with someone i know. but no one i know has yet seem the film so im stuck dwelling in my sadness by myself. doctor was there to see the film with me, but he is not a fan. on friday we went to see Brent and some common friends at a pub, and a few of them share a bit of my passion for the franchise, so i just urged them to go see the film ASAP. now im waiting if they actually do and we could bond (lol) over the experience. 

ive been meaning to update my pre-settled status to settled now that ive resided in the UK for 5 years. but. i got a new passport while in finland, and i immediately updated the details it in the Home Office system, since the status is tied to a document, but its been a month and Home Office has not yet changed it for me. i cant really update my status while they are processing the document update. Home Office has been in such shambles this year. a friend who is here on a work visa has been wait for the visa renewal since february. he cant leave the country now as technically he has no valid visa. and our situations are not weird exeptions, its easy to check current processing times and confirm that for both, work visas and eu-status document updates, these periods are not too far from the average. then add to that the disgraceful fuel shortage at the petrol stations, gas prices going so high a lot of people will struggle keeping their already cold english homes liveable, empty shelves in the shops, animals being slaughtered en masse as there are no skilled  abattoir workers...     its just crap. now all we need is another lockdown to really kill our spirits. the past few weeks deaths and hospitalisations have been going down though. there were some articles about israel possibly being a warning for the rest of us for whats coming, and time will show, but i think israel's plight might not reproduce exactly everywhere. from what i understood the problem in israel was the combination waning immunity, possibly lower levels of immunity due to 3 weeks between vaccines, and delta which apparently only found its way to israel in the summer. thanks partly to israel's example UK has started giving boosters to vulnerable people as wel as health care staff, UK was also the first one to start with 12 weeks between shots, and delta... well its FROM UK. im sure there is a million other factors. like people moving indoors now that the weather is getting colder and that increasing transmissions. but overall the situation might not actually get that as far as those predictors go. reminds me how controversion the 12 week break between vaccines was at first, seemed like a crazy risque move, and while i (naïvely?) trusted that there is decent reasoning and knowledge behind the decision, it did weird me out that i never saw very good argumentation for it, although i do follow the news on the subject...    but as we now know, they did know what they were doing. i can appareciate that giving boosters makes sense, but at the same time knowing that the developing world is this waiting for their first shots seems crazy and not sustainable. anyway, doctor was invited for his booster the other week when they started handing them out.

the discussion surrounding Sarah Everard's killing is making my blood boil at times. the police suggesting "flagging down a bus", lol. not to mention proper good old fashioned victim shaming and complete obliviousness to the reality of power disparties in situation like where Sarah was in. like, how about sorting out the misogyny from the inside instead of adding to the endless stream of advice on what women should do to stay alive.

Beatles is awesome

i realised spiders could come in from the airvent in the bathroom. damn what an idiot i am! of course! it just needed some thin mesh on top. doctor arranged it.

i thought about wireless headphones. specifically the Urbanista Stockholm in black. but 3 hour battery life? meh. and in the end its just another thing to charge. so many cables around...  so maybe later but not now. edit: when i talked to doctor he reminded me we have (he has) these Jaybird headphones. they are connected by a cable which is perfect cos that actually seems a bit safer, somehow. and he is not using them anymore, so i will try them. i have a feeling its not my thing but why not give a go...

in the flat buying front not much has moved, again. we are waiting for a report from our solicitor but i think she was on leave this week or something. they are the only ones who are never in a hurry, people say. and im starting to believe it. i mean they seem nice enough so far actually, but for someone impatient like me this is "slightly unacceptable". but i am aware that it's not out of the ordinary and if i live here i better just accept things or else i am the one who suffers anyway. to be honest there have been days i didnt even remember the flat, so i am doing pretty well, not stressed really. what sometimes stresses me is friends asking "soooo how it it going with the flat?". of course they are just being interested which is like, showing affection, and i appreciate it. and ive had a couple years to digest the fact that it takes months here. i might have just mentioned it to friends off hand months ago and why would they remember, its is pretty f*d up anyway that buying a property would take months? 

the tenant in my helsinki flat gave notice a week ago so i had to start looking for a new one. since im going to helsinki next week it would be the best time for me to get to do something myself - instead of asking friends - so im trying to arrange the switch for around those days (the current tenant is eager to leave earlier too). but thats put some more pressure on me of course. i first tried facebook, i had friends share the post about the flat too. i got a few messages but unfortunately none were suitable for practical reasons, and one had a very bad credit record. i felt bad for him but i cant really take the risk so i passed. so i then had to post an ad online. that brought on tons of inquires so it was positive. im now trying to arrange a viewing to move things forward...  the positive problem will now be who to pick from the many very good candidates. it feels cruel to decide who is the right person cos i have these soft spots for expats and immigrants etc...   but i try to remind myself all these people will find a place most likely, they wont be homeless or something. i just have to think what's best for me as well which seems selfish. it's easier when a friend recommends someone, i like that much better.

got this book last week also, Alan Richardson's Dear Evil Tester. lighthearted but still interesting.

me and doctor went to see Yesterday at the cinema. great feel good film although the ending was just too easy and mushy.

Soydan & Kayhan were here yesterday. just a chill night. Kayhan recommended Michael Sandel's course about the philosophy of justice and his book (Justice). we watched one youtube clip and it seemed super interesting and i ordered the book immediately. as if that wasnt enough i went to the local 2nd hand book shop today and got another Oliver Sacks book. On the positive, I also donated 4 books to them, i dont want them to go out of business. i dont presume i can t really save the world but sometimes i want to try anyway. some 'sould laundering' after ordering a book from Amazon eh?

Pop Brixton about a week ago.

beach holiday badly needed

i think we are getting old, we are thinking of going to Tenerife this november. originally we had more exotic ideas, Marrakech flights are the same price after all! but temperatures are better in Tenerife, especially in the evenings. and yes it matters. maybe Marrackech is better when its properly warm? i have been to canary islands before but not very seriously. now im really like ok, we want a pool, we want this, we want that...  just comparing options.

so i watched Hitman's Bodyguard. not amazing but amusing enough.

our friend Can from istanbul was here for 2 days, registering with GMC. whole process took like 9 months. it was really uplifting, to see him finish the process and just hang out and chill, talk about the moving plans. of course all that is yet another process, but an positive, exciting one. it really motivated me about my per project, the 'turkish doctors to uk' group that ive been working on. its going quite well and im trying to blow more steam into it.

what annoyes me is when i say that im allergic to cats and someone replies "oh well you can get one of those hairless ones!". okay, common misconception, but im not gonna bother correcting anymore, hairless or not, hypoallergenic breeds do exist, with variable success rates. maybe one day i will look into it, if we feel ready for a pet. as far as bunnies go, ive been looking after the neighbours bunnies for 2 weeks now and i am allergic to something. maybe the hay, though. cos when i clean their toilet and lay down new hay...uhh. but bunnies need hay.

sitting in front of screen

Amazon is pretty amazing. i remember thinking a long time ago (like, 10+ yrs) that the algorithm it suggests books based on, is pretty good. nowadays its even more so. i always wanted to live somewhere Amazon delivers to, and im finally there. and re: the algorithmm  sometimes i dont know remember the exact name of a product, but with Amazon's suggestions, ill get there. i mean, so nice. its the little things in life...! and now, the next step in our relationship was naturally sharing our brand new fresh Amazon prime account membership. they call it household account i guess. this is commitment. amazon deliveries tend to come within 2-3 days in any case, but they had an offer (59£ for a year) and we budged, the 2h and same day deliveries, as well as Amazon pantry that enables us to shop from Morrisons...  that kinda did it.

watched Betting on Zero yesterday. then started They Call Us Monsters. im on a docu binge this week. docus area great way to chill usually, and learn something new.

all the Guardian stuff:
opinion piece on 'Brexodus'. it has good points. i think having lived in turkey im not fazed too easy - im used to residence permit runarounds and being at the mercy of uncertainty and whims of an unfriendly government. but of course that was no fun and one of the many reason we left turkey - i wanted more certainty and i wanted to feel like i belong. moving here after the brexit vote was a bit of a gamble and we have not gotten all of those things. i still need to believe that long term things will be ok. certainly "as ok" as they have been until now, free movement of people and lalala, but

cant wait to see Laura Poitras' Assange film Risk (Guardian) + apple trailer.

Celeste Barber's fashion photo parodies are genuinely funny (Guardian story).

brixton is unhealthy but sunny

oh wow, well this movie im excited about; Atomic Blonde

i saw it, then went to have a shower and thought about it all the way through and im still thinking about it. great theme music helps.

i think im finally settling 'into the kitchen'. ive started to buy spices and stuff, looking at recipies. and cooking, obviously. doctor does a lot of late day shifts, coming home at 9 or 11pm, and i dont cook when im alone, so its still not too often but nevertheless, ive started. i have located some sources of free range meat and try to keep some in the freezer at all times. but also cooking more veggie foods now. this nutty wild rice dish interests me.

so apparently its snowing in helsinki atm. jesus. at the same time it does not surpise me...but still it does. London is truly in between Istanbul and Helsinki weather wise. SO GLAD.
my view right now:

i got a letter from our insurance company today. it included the policy number and requested to get in touch asap. okay so i call them. turns out i had forgotten to notify them about my change of address (habit, since in finland its automatic once u inform the population office). yet, they seem to have a system in place that "tracks" one's possible new address...and it seems to work? BUT, they cannot change it into the system until i call them and they verify my identity and so on. yeah, sounds sort of logical... but if they were so concerned about privacy, why include my policy number in the letter - if this was the wrong address and someone else would open the letter, they'd be really close to being able to mess with the policy. what i am curious about is how this new address tracking works though. might ask on Quora or google it...      also, our insurance premium is now 3£ more expensive than it was before, as post code is one of the factors in the price. lol what - we moved a mile, but apparently to a very unhealthy area?? :D i found it too funny to be pissed - it doesnt matter at this point, its having to pay for one to begin with thats annoying - will cancel it anyway once doctor has a residency card in his hands.

not the ordinary tuesday

today was a major victory for us. yesterday GMC finally invited doctor over for ID check. and i managed to get him a cancellation appointment for today! yay. soooo today he was officially registered as a DOCTOR IN THE UK. omg, we only worked on this for a year??! haha. and by 'we' i mean me, he just studied medicine for 10 yes and did a 'few' exams, i did all of the rest!! :) but this is a major milestone, without him being registered nothing else would really be possible. i feel victorious and hopeful about the future. he is due to start work next week!

we have a bottle of bubbly and i will take him to a turkish restaurant tonight to celebrate! i booked us a table in turkish of course. i was worried when i opened my mouth and realised i was speaking in turkish, as a reaction to the guy answering the phone with a turkish accent. but turkish is still in me, i havent forgotten.

also, at work there is a inhouse QA development project going on which inspires me. amongst other things i am investigating and comparing JIRA Atlassian test suite add ons. i didnt know about them! but now i do!

we watched the documentary about Magnus Carlsen with doctor. it did seem a bit hastily done, and not horribly deep, basically just his road from a gifted child to the world chess champion. but it was ok nevertheless.

its hard to try decide which shelf unit or shoe rack will best fit our new place... im struggling between a few options. Ikeas MULIG looks like the most likely candidate for next to entrance. my Ikea shopping list is growing as im collecting all the potential options for a book shelf, entrance rug and laundry basket...   altho im trying to keep my mind open, in this country, Ikea is NOT my only option. there are other brands and shops that sell simplistic, affordable designs. and a part of me might want a make up desk! but furnishing the place will take a while. and we need to consider that its just for 1 year for now...and we need to avoid making holes in the wall...and all the other stuff im sooo used to by now :(

something that maybe sounds old fashioned (or just british - same thing?) but that i like is being pleased. as in 'im so pleased for you', for example. i have taken a liking to it, perhaps cos i was never very comfortable with "im happy for you". happy is such a strong word...  it sounds a bit fake for me personally, when i use it myself i mean. but i can definitely say i feel pleased about things or for someone. finnish emotion scale is limited.

i have tried not to spend too much energy feeling shitty about the whole Trump thing. i mean it is what it is. but reading about the abortion stuff, yeah... it gets me fuming. and UK politics... i might have promised to myself, and out loud, that i wont complain about it at least for the first 6 months. so im trying to stick to that. buuut its not that hard to be honest even with the brexit stuff - just one look at the turkish headlines puts things in perspective.

back to the settling process

i started collecting papers for doctors residence card application. we will use some of the ones we got for the Family Permit, but obviously need new material to prove Her Majesty that we are still, really, genuinely, together, in the same address and all. i will also probably apply for a "registration certificate" alongside his application, i need to provide all the same documents anyway...to try convince the Home Office that i do indeed have the right to be here. they say it supports the residence card application if the EEA national applies for the certificate at the same time..      but this does make me a bit bitter, anyone who reads the news these days knows HO is rejecting applications left and right, with any possible reason they can come up with. i know the law is on my side, but thats not a consolation when the process takes 6 months and you know they can reject based on any concievable little thing. like, the fact that my employment letter does not have a stamp so they cannot verify it to be genuine (my employer does not have a stamp, it's 2017 in finland...). of course i am doing everything in my power to send over all the right docs, but even my best may not be enough as UK marches towards a hard Brexit. they say "nothing will change until the 2 year period is over..." but if you read about the treatment at the border (also ours last september) and the HO decisions...u know the attitude has changed.

we enjoyed New Years with Avner, Elmor & friends. over a backyard fire and drinks...  lovely. but we had to leave soon after midnight to be able to sleep a couple hours before heading to Gatwick aiport. not a nice wake up...  the tube was still full of drunk people when we were trying to make our way with luggage at 5:30am...
but, our first NY's eve in London!

we watched London's fireworks on tv. if u wanted to go out there to see them for real, i hear it means several hours of standing in the cold...

i came home to a full tv episode calendar, a lot of  new seasons started...  Man Seeking Woman, Bachelor, Celeb Apprentice (with Terminator!), Undateables, Seven Year Switch, The Voice UK...

on the movies/docs watch list:
Officer Downe
Arrival
The Brand New Testament
Evolution
Why Him?
20th Century Women
Nocturnal Animals
Off the Rails
They Call Us Monsters
Between Us
Lost in London

UFC is coming to London March 18th. i am determined to get tickets - but i know they sell out very fast so... lets see. never been to see UFC so i would really like to.

doctor started an observership yesterday at the hospital where he is due to start work next month. observership is neat in itself, but especially now as he gets to see his future workplace and sort of familiarize himself with the environment and customs. nervewrecking, but in a very positive way :) also our finnish flatmate started orientation at her new workplace. so everyone in the house is getting up early now...  thank god there are 2 bathrooms.

i cannot unpack all the suitcases we dragged from helsinki because in our already packed room there is simply no space. also, a lot of stuff is something definitely not needed in everyday life, books and photo albums and other old items. but where to even stock them until the move? we are living in a very crammed space until the move...  which is only about a month away!!!

feels like friday but its not

me and dcotor went to Greenwich last saturday. there was a christmas market and yadi yadi. cute stuff.

view of London from the royal observatory. not that impressive when looking through a pocket camera lens. 

bottomless brunch at The Jam Tree.went there with Karin, our flatmate and her friend who'd come for a visit from finland. and asked our flat mate how she knows me, having seen my name on her fb friends. she remembered me from IRC gallery when my photos were floating around the internets. odd but so cool to be remembered, still - its been 10 yrs!!

me and doctor tried watching Asperger's Are Us but it was unfortunately a bit boring with the cast planning a comedy show...  not sure what i was expecting, usually i like documetaries and i definitely tend to like 'aspie's cos they're surprisingly much similarities in our thinking! yes im generalizing, and stereotyping, all at once.

i noticed they made a sequal to fifty shades of grey. Jamie Dornan must have been paid a lot to do that. or maybe he thinks its a great phenomenon. i just thougt he was really hot in The Fall (awkward but really...) so then to have him do something like 50 shades...barf. he looks like a puppy in the trailer, like a completely different person.

but what im gonna watch for sure is BAYWATCH! :D :D 

i have a cold, oh no. my sinuses feel annoying. and i ordered a pair of glasses online, from a shop the friend our flatmate recommended. so maybe they wont sit perfectly on my nose, who knows, but going out these days i feel like im blind, and watching tv is a bit tedious too sometimes, so i just need something to be able to SEE. doesnt need to be perfect, and life is not a beauty contest so who cares if the frames are an ideal width to my face. the fact that they didnt cost 100£ was kind of ideal. i can re-evaluate the situation again later.

last weekend in Ist

i finally pulled out our luggage today and started packing, a bit, i am just really anxious to see how our stuff will fit in, and what else will have to be shipped in a box. also Murat, doctors friend who is buying all our furniture, came over with a moving company guy to see everything and plan for the moving truck o guess. good luck with that, our street is one way, and once you stop a car or a truck there, no one else is going anywhere. but thats life here and istanbullu's are used to it. they should come on thursday at 7am. nasty time but the least traffic...   after that we will stay 2 nights in a hotel very close by. and saturday morning... we should finally be heading to a new country. scary sh*t... 

i watched the Weiner documentary. it was really good as the rumour said. i really enjoyed it. things are not as black and white as i would like them to! i recommend. 

i met Elin on Friday, one of my oldest friends in istanbul actually. she worked at the translation company and that brought us together 5+ yrs ago. since then our lives went different ways but im glad we have stayed in touch and been able to meet sporadically

the "3rd" bar street.

random snapshot from thursday, when we enjoyed dinner by Melisa with friend. lovely evening, 

if in the morning i have a lot of emails, it makes me nervous for a second or two, until i see them. i dont know what it could be but for a moment im worried. cos when i wake up and if my phone says you have 8 emails, and i know i should have just 4....  wtf?! but of course its just Threadless having a sale and other stuff...  advertising that i am ok with etc. i think i havent ordered from threadless for the past 2 yrs tho. we had enough shirts and somehow they have become less "personal" and a few of their shirts were really shitty quality, pilling after a few uses. shameful, they are not the cheapest after all.

wall art in kadiköy. its promoting education for girls.

Bachelor in Paradise:
im surprised no one (online) seems to address how Ashley I. is calling Shusanna 'russian hooker' on BiP. if it was the N-word, ppl would go nuts. N-word cant even be said, its N-word. but hooker is still ok...? thats rough, there is a racist undertone there too.

celebrating specialist bf

Married At First Sight AU season 3 is starting - woohoo! one of my favorite shows by far. although in the OZ version they dont really get (legally) married, due to the law.

And Nick Viall is gonna be the next Bachelor, lol wtf, but somehow i had a weird feeling, he has been so smooth lately, talking to the media, being really nice about the show and network and yadi yadi... that guy has turned around his image 180.

Telegraph on Instagram changing, or being, photography
Medium: i got scammed by a Silicon Valley startup

The Greasy Strangler seems slightly odd....but at the same time im kind of interested. i should watch it.

i watched Never Let Me Go yesterday for our 'movie club' with Arttu. it was through provoking and even more so after we talked about it, i tend to see only superficial things but Arttu pointed me to some analogies.

oh lord this article...  im not a developer, but WTF Medium: Responsive Web Considered Harmful

For once, i DON'T agree with The Guardian's view on Erdogan and his special kind of democracy.

and it other news... doctor passed his final specialist exam today, which officially concludes his 4.5 yr studies in emergency medicine. im really proud of him :)  admittedly it was abit hard especially in the beginning, due to the crazy hours, but im glad he pulled through. and after the exam he rushed to fill the forms in order to resign. cos we need that processed like asap...    cant wait to go out in the evening and celebrate over a dinner!

packing, selling, working

i paid our first rent in London (for September). thats a milestone? i feel a bit excited, although it was money lost...  £800 is 935 euros approx. more than we pay for our current flat, which is 120 sqm, in the center of the asian side of the city. oh well. in life you make choices and so forth. we will come back if we feel like thats better...

there are studies or articles now that suggest permanent female contraception should be removing fallopian tubes, not just closing r cutting them. considering ectopic pregnancies still happen after tubal ligation and surgically the risks are similar, maybe it makes sense! i guess later i will be one of the 'old style' ladies, who just got her tubes cut and burned...
link 1: ncbi 
link 2: medscape

this month has been busy work wise, although i didnt even notice, im so focused on the move, work just happens on the side. but when i look at the hours ive logged, im surprised. and now that im "off" taxes in finland (supposed to pay them in the country of residency, turkey), im getting it tax free, too... crazy. im very committed to start paying taxes in the UK though, i just have to be there in order to get the national insurance number and get that stuff going. on the positive side, most of my work is actually exciting and finding and solving some bugs really

i want to see the documentary about Anthony Weiner. imdb says it should be pretty good and i also have that feeling.

yesterday i had afternoon coffee with Ulas & DW, a great couple living not so far from us. they might also leave in a year or 2... i will miss them even if we didnt meet that often. Ulas has become a yoga teacher and i think he could do well in the big cities of the world :) tonight i met with a syrian friend who is weighing her options to go abroad. but also thinking of visiting her parents in Syria, they live in a peaceful city where life is apparently 2normal2 except for electricity cuts.

today i gave my finnish bank my new address and asked them to send me some mail so i would have it on paper. this part is extremely important when trying to acquire a british bank account, i hear - evidence of address. so i have started to gather the evidence - i want a bank account.

somehow i wouldnt mind trying a glass of sake right now

i watched Adaption - for Arttu's and mine movie club - that was a mistake. i mean wtf. doctor had seen it and warned me...  he said i would not like it. how right he was. never again!

(about the) depressed egg yolk mascot from Japan

it's a warm, humid sauna outside our livingroom. ive been enjoying the AC a lot, i turn it off here and there cos i feel like the air gets too AC:ish (even if the temp is set at 25) but its on 80% of my waking hours i think. yesterday i met a friend for a coffee in this garden cafe/bar, it brought up a nice hamam-ish sweat up although we were in the shadow of course....:D

im selling our home decor and small items on FB's 2nd hand groups, little by little. it's barely worth the pocket change so i consider it more like a hobby - and i like 'recycling' in that way, buying and selling 2nd hand. the other kind of recycling, that i dont care for.

Max Rose this film may be interesting. i wanna see it when it comes out

every now and then someone asks why i dont get turkish nationality, cos im eligible for it (5 years of residence). of course there are benefits but holy fuck it would never cross my mind. i guess it can be seen as a practical choice, like getting married to make paper work easier....but i take nationality quite seriously and my love affair with turkey is not that deep after all, and out future turkey looks like it's coming to an end anyway. and im just not turkish by any standard. furthermore, it would make me feel unsafe, for once you are a turkish/(whatever) dual citizen, and you get in trouble here, you can say goodbye to any help you would normally get from your country. people don't believe me when i say this, they claim dual nationality wouldnt change anything. i am naive in the way that i get really annoyed when people don't believe something i know to be a fact. recently  Australian Department of Foreign Affairs sent an email reminding dual citizens of this; "Dual nationals are reminded that, while Turkey recognises dual nationality, it prohibits Australian consular officials providing assistance to Australian/Turkish dual nationals who are arrested or detained." there. i believe it refers to Master Nationality Rule. 

these news of women killed in turkey by family or partners are always around 
Turkey’s Constitutional Court stirs outrage by annulling child sex abuse clausespanish journalist is said to have been deported over tweets

if im watching tv or a film on my computer and dont have my phone, i find myself distracted, looking for 'something'. im conditioned to play 1010!. it relaxes me.

with friends

mondays are a bit slow for me. i mean getting into the work groove...  takes me half a day. im trying to figure out how to speed it up but its challenging. and this is the week after Brexit, not super motivating from any angle... 

i watched 2 movies recently; A Perfect Day and The Family Fang. both were interesting in their own way. the first one had only strong male characters, the women were thin stereotypes. but its a good film about NGO's trying to help and do their thing in warzones. not that im a specialist. Family Fang was a sort of drama comedy, entertaining with a fun story but with boring end.

the violent attack at a "Radiohead bar" here in istanbul was just near my friends place, and the place owned buy a friend of a friend. a few of the recent events here have hit close to home. i still remain emotionally unaffected, i dont know is my selfishness or my heart just made of stone, but on another level i acknowledge it and it serves as a reminder of why we want to pay £800 for a room in London, while we pay £500 for a 120sqm flat here.

i have serious sleeping issues lately. i am often tired after working hours and after 9 or 10pm i feel like i could definitely sleep, but when i put my head on the pillow my mind will not rest. all the worries and tasks in the world are lined up and i cant let go. well this is not a new problem, but its worse these days. its the move, obviously. but i cant spend the rest of my life like this, i need to work on this issue...

out with friends last week

this is Umut with his beer. a turk currently not living in turkey, just visiting.

something i cooked. mushrooms & walnut seem to go well together.

i met Yusuf too last week. i met him through couchsurfing in 2010, he was my host in Hatay when i was on my way to Syria. since then he moved to Istanbul and we meet up occasionally.

out in Istanbul with the cats...  i think my social life is a bit more active lately cos im trying to take it all in, see everyone, enjoy everything...

i love this old house. i think i might have taken a photo of it before. 

when finns were celebrating midsummer on friday, i went off for a picnic with Hanna in Macka park. i dont know if the mood was very midsummerish but fun enough...we had mezes and white wine (cooled in the cooling bag!). after finishing the wines we continued to a Nisantasi bar. it turned out a late night.

from Kiriaki's place a week ago. an amazing brunch/dinner with lots of pork and nice wine and good company.

got 2 small plates, 2 "dessert spoons" (i think they are perfect coffee spoons!)  and a tea infuser for doctor. he is big on tea and loves this. the plaes and spoons, i have no excuses, but had to use our Pasabahce gift card.

on saturday i went out for dinner with Elin and her Iranian friends. they have been living abroad for a long time (Italy etc), so we are all expats - lot to talk about - we had a great time. Behnam (left in photo) is planning a start up application and we had good discussions ob the topic.