website alive again

i feel something about shipping has become really tedious. or should i say shipping services. u go online and buy something. then it starts, the inbox flood;

we are expecting your parcel from (seller)

we have your parcel

your parcel is on its way to you

your parcel is being delivered today

your parcel delivery time has changed 

your parcel has been delivered

how was your delivery? 

how was your delivery? 

how was your delivery? 

how was your delivery?!  

 

i mean halfway through im already done. i understand people want visibility on their deliveries but its gotten a bit extreme. and the desperate pleads for feedback that every single service does now - its too much. 

me and doctor finally got around to going to Highgate Cemetery, where Karl Marx, Douglas Adams and Michael Faraday were put to rest. it was his birthday so i got us a tour too and it was well worth it, learned a lot about the history of the cemetery, graves - saw the catacombs - etc. i was surprised about the unmarked graves of which many were for the so-called “fallen women”, girls as young as 14 pushed into prostitution and dying from the poverty and diseases. 

as a part of his birthday, i designed a shirt with AI for him and had it printed. gemini made the title and most of the design too, but gemini (based on this and other experiences) seems incapable of fixing mistakes even when asked. it had written controlled with one L and i could not make it add the other L no matter what. i then gave the design to chatGPT and as usual, it fixed the issues and made the changes i needed. doesnt matter, in the end i got what i wanted.   

 

 

 

i got a couple new puzzles as i realised im running out. i just started a cityscape one (night time Hong Kong or something). 

my ancient suzi9mm.com website had finally deteriorated and the URL was just showing code...i noticed this about a month ago. i finally got around to just setting up a new site, a project i started a few years ago because i was expecting this eventually. i then moved over the domain and now at least i have something live, if not very polished. also missing a few pics i think. but im happy i got it back up. i want my photos to exist out there and be accessible still, even if it is a stale ghost gallery thats just a part of history. 

 

 

ive been listening to Sophie Gilbert's Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves. theres a lot i recognise and can relate to, some familiar thoughts and challenges. the book is a wider perspective than the title suggests and maybe sometimes gets lost in detail, but overall i find it pretty solid. i havent finished it and so i hope the book is going "somewhere", and hopefully somewhere with broader analysis and suggestions of changes. now it's been busy laying out pieces of evidence of which most if very observational. 

Ramses

Ramses, shot last week. very cool boy with a lot of attitude and disapproval!

newbie bun photographer

so ive finally gotten around to my long time dream - bun portraiture. its hard... i could see myself falling for the same silly mistakes i have done with humans long time ago... but theres a start for everything i guess.

my model was Ringo. he is a beautiful very soft boy with lotsa attitude, apparently he is the king of the flat, which he shares with a human and a kitty. he was a bit shy at first but on his best behavior, we had a decent shoot - regardless of the fact that im a novice obviously. i hope i did at least some justice with these pics... i KNOW how imperfect they are and i could/should do so much better. but it will take time to learn...

more sensitive side...



















very basic mug shot



















Ringo's true colors

get a grip - it feels good

Flickr greeted me with that. need to remember, in a few weeks i shall use it!

i started working on photos after a longish break again. this theme allured me for ages. the way her hands are, its one of my fav things, holding the neck...grabbing the hair, i wanted to capture it. but i think i couldve done a better job even.

we talked about men and sex

Tiitta yesterday

turkish - no doubt

this shall serve as a preview, not the final frame i suspect. the color are off here, not warm enough, and too pale. yes, its called over exposion i think ...

this is for my Foreign Men -series.

on the morning before exiting our hotel i took this photo of betasus, a very nice fellow deviant. and hot too, obviously. nearly burned my eyes looking through the SLR, heh. but he is really lovely, so glad he would pose for me.

noble people

had a 'casual wednesday' today at work i guess. there was sausages and beer(or cider) at the terrace in the afternoon. ive been superbusy trying to get things ready for my vacation...but ive done an okay job and should get everything done tomorrow.

in the evening i shot miss Eva Von Slut, who came all the way from San Fransisco to perform at the Helsinki Burlesque event last sunday. i am lacking the name of the event...but nevertheless. she was fun to talk to and i took her out for 2 ciders, had to show what girrrls here in Finland (often) drink. shed tried other finnish things on the nights earlier to this. impressive lady, Eva, doing a lot, band stuff and some burlesque altho mostly retired from it... the all covering tattoos really struck me!


















i got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow. i was supposed to do a shoot with this german girl but i rescheduled it to the beginning of july... i just have so many things to do before my vacation, from applying for part-time unemployment to applying for some other things...hmm.

my latest music find: Teddybear STHLM (spotify link) (youtube) (myspace)

Sziget festival in august has a long list of bands....but me is pleased with the following names;
Manic Street Preachers
Lily Allen
The Prodigy
Placebo
The Klaxons
Snow Patrol
Eric Prydz
Armin Van Buuren
Editors
IAMX

and note; Buena Vista Social Club! :D

theres so many unknown names tho, i have a feeling i might like many that im not aware of just yet.

i was supposed to go to miss R's friend place for midsummer on friday, out of the city, for a small/medium size party... but somehow did not feel like it after all. and since most ppl there would not know me anyway, i decided to bail out. just stay at home or whatever. i mean who says u need to do something or be somewhere during midsummer? its a tradition, but not one that actually makes u anything more or better. u go out party when u feel like it. end of story. i can relax and do whatever the fuck i want. i will prolly be seeing Arttu though. and Jim is arriving on saturday. i should sketch up some things for us to go see and do while hes here.

the conspicuous truth:
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

kädenjälki hukassa, hiilijalanjälki taasen hyvin tuoreessa muistissa

taas sitä on nukuttu melkeen koko päivä. univelkaa tais olla ja viime yö meni pitkäks kuvia vääntäessä. ei-niin-mukava tunne istua photari auki ja miettiä että mitäs helvettiä mä näille kuville yleensä teinkään?? jokaisella valokuvajaallahan on omat jutut, ja on tietty yleisiä asioita joita melkeen kaikki korjaa, mutta se lopullinen oma kädenjälki on usein siitä photarityöstäkin kiinni. no, Kev ja Arttu online kerto mulle, että Jenni ennen sä ainakin olisit varmaan tehny näin ja näin ja näin... ja olivat ihan oikeassa. muistui mieleen. tein työtä käskettyä, menee se nöinkin, kunhan kuva saadaan valmiiks.

no mutta joo, ne elämän herkät ohikiitävät hetket, romanttista. tyypillistä jenni-herkistelyä haettiin taas. mulla on Renny Harlin olo kun piti työntää suomi mukaan kuvaan. ja tosi teennäisen hauska olo kun jätinkin ton tatskan tohon, se on niin mun suosikki, "ribbed for her pleasure".


















toi tyttö oli kans Tinitus-festareilla, mukava nainen. Moijra, tekee paljon goottimalleilua työkseen.

im more of a pushing girl than pulling, but what the hell

soooo, got around to pulling off a great easter, pun intended.



















more fun.

industrial go-go

i took a "million" photos in sweden, random features;

a view from the pre-party place balcony. you could easily spot those people on the street that were coming to this place :D














i don't know who, but i asked everyone for permissions.


















Hocico or Combichrist @ Tinitus festival














why a photo of a man's corset? no idea. and my hands in the photo as usual.














and someones but tattoo. i cant even point the camera it seems. i think is from the pre-party.














i opened the folder of Ville's photos from our last 'session' when he was in helsinki. what a nice looking fella...:) and actually, truly he is one of the kindest people ive ever met, very friendly and caring. swedes...damn.

i took a photograph. not happening...is it really?

aaaand i took this christmassy shot after taking some other photos for Liina. i boughts these christmas decorations from Hemtex a yr ago, on sale right after christmas i guess. i had to, the black looked so pretty. so when we discussed a photo session, i asked if shed model for me. i sort of skipped christmas theme photo last year...and its been a long time since i posted anything on dA, especially anything theme-like. it became a kind of a tradition to take photos for some public holidays, just for the fun and humor of it. and to thank the community for everything its given me.












from the shoot;

hau hau

nyt valvon ja riehun. se kai kertoo siitä että jotain energiaa on. olen kuin huono leivänpaahdin, yks päivä paahtaa, toinen päivä ei mitää...

nyt on ihan luvalliset vapaat tulossa, pitää unohtaa että on työtön. vaikka lomaa en asiasta otakaan, pitää laittaa mailia sinne tech writer mestaan jne. mutta lomafiilarit. ja sain aloitettua kirjankansi-kuvan ottamisen eilen...pitää yhdistellä useampia kuvia joten proggis kestää viel...

olen 2 yötä nukkunut minimaalisesti ja Järvenpään kuvausreissu oli vähän väsyttävä. mutta Monica siellä herää joka aamu klo 7 kun lapsi päättää niin, ja sitten on ne...hmm, 7 pikkuhauvaa ja parit isommat hauvat ja sit imuroidaan koko asunto joka päivä ja leivotaan pullaa kun tulee vieraita, illalla kirkkoon laulaa joululauluja tänää ja sit siskontyttöä kylään ja... mulla ehkä menee aika iisisti? tai ei ihan noin raskasta siis. valintojahan noi on. kyllä Monica ja Jussi tyytyväisiltä vaikuttaa. muistan ku ne alko seukkaa kun me oltii kosmetologikoulus 90-luvun lopul... Monica ei edelleen pidä lapsista, mutta omahan on aina poikkeus :) no mutta näitä 8 pienempää kuvasin sit. sillä saa leipää pöytään, nimittäin. oli vaikeaa kun kukaa ei pysy sekunttiakaan paikallaan, mutta kai mä jonkun kuvan sain. pikkuhauvat on siitä viel ok et ne ei kuolaa tai hauku tai sillee...ne vaan säätää ja tarttuu hampailla kaikkeen, ja on aika pehmeitä. kuvasin lattialla istuen ja olin koko ajan hauvojen peitossa.

kotiin tullessa soittivat sieltä isosta softayrityksestä jossa olin haastattelussa yli kk sitten. sitä duunia en saanut, ja käsitin että se oli yhetisymmärryksessä silleen että myönsin siellä että klo 8-16 espoossa joka päivä ei oikeen nappaa. nyt sit olis joku uus duuni johon ne ehkä haluis mut. en puhelimessa tullu kysyneeks muistaaks ne mun työaika-preferenssejä jne mutta menen nyt maanantaina kuiteski keskustelee asiasta. se duuni olis toki, kuten päättelivät, mulle sopivaa, sellasta webbikauppa-yhteisö-kuluttaja-kehitystä/perustamista.

dA:n kautta kans yks tyyppi laitto viestii, isommasta tekno-mainostoimistosta, jonne laitoin avoimen hakemuksen yli kk sitten. ne, kuten hän sanoi, menee ihan ohi, se oli vaa nähny mun journalin ja kyseli meininkejä ja sillee... niillä haetaan käyttöliittymä tms. suunnitteluun henkilöä. mutta taas kerran toi osa-aikaisuus voipi tulla vastaan kuulemma.

kuvia Monican ja Jussin luota;

mr portugal

nice web mag of arts/style; royal magazine

this is a photo of Pedro, one of the really nice staff members in Estremoz. and super duper cute :D i just turned it into BW. i was thinking of adding him into my foreign men series.

hopeless stapler

i actually had a pretty good day altho i guess i was a little pissy in the morning. i just needed some time on my own. now im getting it, and to be honest things are not that bad. Arttu arrived from Iran, and he got sick on the plane, fewer and stuff, so i went to his place, brought food and we talked. apparently the trip was really nice. they met lotsa smart really nice people just randomly. from everything he told, i absolutely wanna go there some day.

but instead of going to Iran...i just booked myself to the UK... ill have to call mom tomorrow and ask for money. how embarrassing is that? i just HAVE TO see Anthony and the Johnsons, in London, with the London Symphony Orchestra. and i would die if i didnt? im really embarrassed right now. if we go somewhere in december with miss R, that means 3 foreign trips for me the rest of this year. and i dont know how i should be able to save up enough money for december if i keep spending it like this. but you only live once...and thats my excuse for everything.

calendar
sep 10-16 Portugal
sep 20 Fight Festival (with fellow blogger)
oct 10 Leonard Cohen
oct 30 London/AATJ & LSO
december/somewhere
january/icehotel in lapland

i just finished this. not that there was much to do. its not like amazing fuckin piece of art. but fun it was! 9...m...m.. say it...suzi9mm. yes. now say it AGAIN! 9MM!

it seems obvious that im not going to be a pro-stapler, it is that uneven...














youtube video; view from Doddabetta, India, aka as Suicide Point. beautiful view i must say! i am afraid of heights tho.

nice map;

born to model

i just finished the shoot with the foreign girl. turned out she does live in Finland, but not in Helsinki, so she was visiting the city for the day. she is from Russia, and veeery smart, i had great conversation with her. and lucky for me she was a great model, taking every instruction and looking beautiful from any angle. she works as a model (180cm tall!!) occasionally. but really, she was amazing, with great personality, and bears some similarity to Monica Bellucci who is super hot. im happy i took the opportunity to shoot her altho i couldnt prepare for anything special so i just took port folio type of photos. hopefully something else later.



































FedEx paid me a visit. i didnt really expect anything THIS huge. f... thank you dA :) i appreciate this.


















unpacked. beautiful even if i say so myself. with black border. not only easy on the eye but reminds me of some of the beautiful moments ive had in my life. the photo started with me wanting to capture something, about the relationship. i have no idea where on my walls it would fit, but i will find a way... i have to get it up there. i know it looks selfish since its my own but fuck that. (namely, its this product in dA)













in the end today was okay. really, quite okay. i exchanged some emails with F. he is happy, which makes me smile too. i took a few photos and the whole thing was a cool experience. had a good chat with a friend online. received this huge print... and had a date earlier with an obnoxious guy who admitted to beating up his wife in the past. no he was not proud of it, i just kept demanding for him to tell something really bad or embarrassing about himself. why? because its more fun than talking about the weather. ive always wondered who are those guys really, statistically i should know at least a couple personally. but this was my first encounter really. much better info than what he thinks of the weather. he presented me with some good opposition to my cynical and sharp tongue. i know if i tell anyone they will roll their eyes and imagine me in the ER already. or perhaps my friends would know me better. as i told this guy, aggression is a huge-fuckin-no-no to me, i will stay away for certain.

a very funny moment was when i was referring to my past relationships in a sentence somewhere, and concluded that "they've all been quite good really, and the men were all more less very nice i suppose, in relation, at least no one ever beat me up... " i bursted out laughing in the middle of the sentence as i realized what i was saying, it was not intentional. he wasnt smiling. but u have to be ready to take some shit for what uve done! i think he knew that.

oh and i received a letter from my american pen pal :) apparently he hasnt killed anyone lately, he got the 6 yrs in the hole for being associated with some gang...i dunno. whatever.

but honestly, who cares about all that, when u just got shoes like THIS! (Bronx, 17e from eBay) HAAAA!



















i want to see bunny-dreams tonight! i saw some buns last saturday at the picnic. they were all hopping around happily, like bunnies should, eating grass. me wants to do that too. okay im too cheery for my own good, haha.

bunneeeehs...

butterfly

my favorite photo from the shoot with Tiitta today;


















her tattoos are so beautiful, dear lord. and so is she. hard to believe she is over 30.

lets not get desperate here

im goin to Sysmä tonight, to see mom (and her husband). but first im getting a haircut. pretty tough decision, considering my account balance, but i decided to do it anyway. tomorrow i have this bride-to-be photoshoot, and then im meeting with Juha. hes a photographer too, havent been in touch for quite a while.

i finished this photo last night. i dont other see it the way i do..at least no ones indicated so. i named it "its not despair"... because...well, i think uts something else. she is cutting her wrist instead of the cord. i like the questions... but i dont really go far pondering them, its the feeling of now quite knowing wtf...



















great photography: Eugenio Recuenco

the kitties...both of them have homes to go to now, when they are old enough to be separated. 2 families have visited me in order to see the Little/Big Kitty, and naturally these beauties stole their heart. so their future is now safe. what the organization handling this whole kitty-fostering-home-thing does to fund all this (the food and vaccinations etc.), is they sew bags and stuff and sell them. quite a lot of work, just to give a life to these kitties. its all volunteer work. i cant sew anything nor do i want to. but i just may have an opportunity to help them out in some way... (besides giving my home, time and love to these 2). the idea of a calendar was thrown in... now thats where i get interested. i have been taking snapshots of the kitties, but i might as well turn up the resolution and try a little harder. if a calendar is made, i can contribute with photos and hopefully it sells :)

anyway heres the Little Kitty, not posing really. shes a terrible poser and doesnt do anything i say, but shes still cute!

weekend almost over. i had a photoshoot today, with Pau. she wrote me on thursday saying she'll be in Helsinki this weekend if i wanted to shoot her... and well i always want to shoot her. not sure about the results... i am not exactly inspired atm, but i tried, she is a great model.

preview mockup


















3 days of (customer service) work next week. blah :(

and kitties.... ....