1. i'm not liking the yearly gynecological examination. today i asked if it's compulsory. it is. i know it's for my own good. but what if they just let me die with my ovarian cancer. and every year she asks 'do you examine your breasts?'. i say 'no'. she says 'but sometimes?', and i say 'no' again. and that' the end of the conversation, she just asks if i do it and i tell her i don't.

2. people are complaining about the president getting a raise. or is it the people, maybe just the media, trying to sell their pathetic publications? i don't care, it's bullshit. one persons income can only have meaning image wise, the fact that men get paid more than women, or an engineer more than a nurse is what makes a difference. can anyone claim that the president doesn't deserve a fuckin raise? how about we just left the salary as it was in 1945 or something?? people are never happy they complain about the most idiotic things, like i'm doing right now. i saw bitter comments on how the presidents salary comes from our taxes. i wonder where the fuck should it come from? the heaven? she should be rich enough to not be paid at all? fuckin move to nigeria, where the presidents salary is mostly bribes i bet... people should be slapped or better even taken behind the sauna and shot, for complaining about the presidents salary. as if we didn't have actual problems, like 50% of the population being paid less than the opposite fuckin sex.

3. i have to go see someone in the hospital, on the behalf od people who can't visit the patient due to distance. i say 'wtf am i supposed to say, i don't even know her'. 'sure you know her!!'. why do people always have to twist the truth like that... why not say ok, you don't really know her but please do this anyway. and i should take chocolate and grapes. she's supposedly starving. i doubt anyone starves in the hospital. it's no 5-star restaurant but as far as i know no one ever left the hospital starving to death. also i bet she won't eat the fuckin chocolate. it's just something you always take... chocolate is given and the receiver will give it forward to a fuckin nephew and everybody is happy. why am i not happy? why should i give chocolate that i'm certain will be given forward anyway? how do i know if she eats the chocolate? i know cos it's just a fuckin stupid tradition and especially older people never eat the fuckin sweets they get, whether they want to or not they always give them to someone else and probably get some kind of satisfaction from being so fuckin smart and generous...to make a grandchild happy...is there anything better? i argued about this but it's like i wasn't listened, i was told she IS starving and she WILL eat it. whatfuckinever. and grapes...jesus, why always grapes. they don't contain anything magical. i think grapes suck. i guess it makes sense to take something though, so why not chocolate and grapes? i dunno, i think this whole deal is phony, i will go because i was asked and i think i owe that, but i don't think it makes sense.

4. i'm probably going back to canada in the fall. my bf was accepted for student exchange in the US, so instead of being miserable back home i'll save money and pack my bags and go back to Kev's for a while. ..