i'm eating fried sausages and doing nothing. clearly i'm having a day off :) i'm trying to finish the 4th sausage and feeling sick... granted, 4 sausages is a bit much but i figured that while i'm at it, u know.

later we're meeting up with the 'part timers' for "a" beer. in finnish it's called 'tuntaribisset'. can't translate it.

Johan felt that his pic below is ugly and we need to balance this out by showing off one of his shots from sunday night. i picked between a photo where i licked rhum from the floor and this friendly pose. Kev says it's unhealthy to lick the floor but we agree to disagree there. i think it's just gross, not dangerous in any way (as long it's a normal apartment floor with no feces on it). so if u spill your drink, no worries, go after it... anyway, here u go



















speaking of Kev, i'm a little worried about my trip to Canada. he's into cooking food, and i'm into eating that food, up to the point it hurts. now THAT is unhealthy. i gained quite a bit of weight last time i stayed with him. i should loose some before going.... hmm. suggestions? other than being stressed about saving money for the trip and this food/weight issue that Kev is responsible for, i am quite looking forward to this trip... there were so many people in Canada that i'm missing and many more to meet. not to mention shooting...:P

this finnish guy is writing a blog about his (coming) suicide. first i was interested but pretty soon i concluded that...i am not. based on the way i think it works, i don't believe he'll do it. and if he does, well, that's the end of that. i'm not careless because i don't know him. surely he has friends and family that'll miss him. maybe i am among his friends, who knows? but that's life, u have the right choose. he's explaining that he came to this conclusion as he doesn't have the "essential prerequisites to continue living". this is because he cannot survive being so poor, and without the support from friends and family. he complains about being hungry and how he will "inevitably" loose the roof from above his head later this year. all in all he's whiny and martyr-like. okay so he's in a bad spot, loosing his home, probably nobody to support him as he claims, whether that's his own fault or not is not important... but i find that people who have really decided to die, don't feel the need to whine so much anymore. because they have no energy left for that. humans in my opinion tend to try survive no matter what their head tells them, so they rarely give up until they really have nothing else left. and despite what this 30yr old says, he seems to have a lot left. he has the energy to find a computer and set up a blog and actually vent about his situation. it sounds more like he's trying to get the officials to raise the unemployment-aid by dragging attention to himself. i don't know if he's on unemployment aid tho, he might've said and i didn't notice, but so what. he says that he'll drag on a little while until he has no choice due to the circumstances and that sounds bitter. i don't believe that someone who's so tired of life and ready to die has any bitterness left, or the energy to be bitter. he says that he also has practical things left to arrange before he can die. suiciders don't arrange practical stuff, they just kill themselves. arranging stuff sounds nice, but for some reason it's rare. finally, he comments on the comments that he's received and corrects some misunderstandings and misconceptions and has the need to explain why suicide is alright and understandable and so forth. that's no behavior of a person who's lost the will to live and cannot go on. he is trying to make it sound like he is a martyr of the society and altho he likes life he just *has to* to do this due to the horrible circumstances but i don't think people function like that. as long as he thinks he's a victim and would like to go on if the circumstances were different, he has the will to live on and probably will. he needs meds or a maybe deportation to sweden. why the fuck am i venting about some guy who is supposedly about to kill himself? i dunno, i should actually go do my make up, i'm already late.