what a day, i feel pretty depressed. i watched UFC 62 which was uplifting... my hunch was right, chuck liddell beat sobral and forrest griffin beat bonnar.

well, whatever.

i was at work trying to explain Tony what depressed me and started crying. wtf... afterwards, wondering wtf hit me, why am i so moody and shit, i looked at my brand new t-shirt that says 'it's not PMS, it's you' ... and some nano seconds later realized...yea, it actually might be pms. i'd never admit it tho, i don't think i have pms. but the realization of the timing, the shirt and time of the month and my behavior got me laughing.

i've been feeling dizzy today too... and when i got home from work, relieved that this bitch of a week is over but still feeling dizzy, i figured it can't hurt if i feel a little more dizzy so i'm emptying the cranberry vodka bottle that i had in my fridge.

then my bf gets online... i am in the middle of watching UFC and i thought he was acting weird and all, and i got pissed and i was a bitch. and seconds later i wanted to apologize and he was offline already. boy did that feel like a punch in the belly. he's the person that digs me and i dig him... so i felt tons worse after this.

he later got back online and said he'll be online again later tonight so, that's good.

still... i have a week off coming ahead, minus tuesday, and i should make something of it. on friday the company i work for is holding a big party. invitation says to dress well. err. i don't have fancy dresses.

lol! check this 'who wants to be a millionaire' scene :D i didn't expect it to be so funny.

Johan is coming over in december again, for new year. so we're planning another drinking contest... kind of hard tocome up with one though... but we're working on it.

such a happy ending!! (kitty story)

is it embarrassing to listen to Skid Row, still in 2006? i guess so. but like everyone, i'm stuck in some decade and time... the heavy metal/rock stuff isn't music wise the greatest thing ever but i guess when it hitme, i was at a tender age and it made a huge impression on me. the kind of one that lasts.

so i read Eric Prydz (the Call On Me guy) is swedish. what can i say... i should've guessed.

a researcher has come to the conclusion that having a female president has actually a negative/stagnating affect in the development of gender equality. well, too fuckin bad. can't have everything i guess. currently i rather have a female president, besides things will never get really equal so the whining is useless.

my frying pan is kind of dead. it's just fucked. i am wondering why. not that it matters but anyway. is it just that it got so old, i guess it wasn't the awesomest quality ever...? or is cos i never wash it after cooking but rather the next time i need it (anything from a day to a month)? i first thought it's the latter, but now i'm wondering if it's so. it's the first assumption... you're told to wash the dishes after cooking, so maybe there's a connection? but then i think; we're told a lot of things that don't make sense. we're supposed to make our bed in the morning. it's pretty useless... it doesn't save the sheets, it doesn't ease your life (the opposite)...so why are we supposed to make the bed? well, must be like why you're supposed to eat at table. and why your clothes should be ironed. culture and common agreement of how to communicate who you are and that you're a decent person. it's not really necessary anymore. i think we know we're not apes by now, and if we don't, it's time we stopped thinking about it. also trying to say you're this good of a person is not so important in the welfare society, altho it can be useful in some things... my point was... well, first off, making bed is useless and i never did it, and i don't know physics and chemistry enough to know if my frying pan got fucked because of old age or because i didn't treat it like we're told to. and now to conclude what i first said, it doesn't matter, i'll just get a new frying pan and life will go on :)
for the record, i won't start washing it straight away after cooking, paying 30euros or something to have a frying pan for 3-5 years is alright, it's well worth the money, i don't care if i cause it to deteriorate. and i even think you should agree.

i don't have any understanding for couples who are too dependant on each other and need each others approval and acceptance on anything and everything. the day that i move in with my bf and will have to ask him if we got any plans for saturday or if i could go meet my friends... well that fuckin day better not come. if i got nothing on my calendar for saturday then it means i'm doing what the fuck i want. and if my bf had something else in mind that he had not told me, too fuckin bad. it's sick when people are so worried about their spouses and their doings. "she better not meet her ex for a coffee, without me knowing!". christ, i've actually heard people say things like that. usually not in such a harsh manner. they just explain in a way that suggests that i am the retarded one, how they don't think it's appropriate for their bf/gf to meet their ex. sick... people you cannot own another person! are you proud when you stole years of someones social life? and don't kid yourself, you alone cannot make be the social life of another person. no wonder people jump from relationship to another when they need someone so bad. someone to set rules and restrictions to their life. how can you be hooked on that? i guess u feel needed, special... it's different from anything else clearly, as your friends don't bound you inside 4 walls or restrict your goings like a noose around the neck...so it must feel so different to have this relationship in your life. you're then a part of the common society, you can't do what you want and when you want...oh the joy! how could u think it's worth it? people are brainwashed from the birth. either that or i was dropped on my head when i was a baby. i think the first is more likely, i'm always right :) jealousy is useless... you cannot decide how another person feels and what they want. you can always tie them to the table, but the reality of things is in their mind nevertheless, so it isn't of any use. i mean, to restrict someone from meeting their ex or anyone else, what does it say about you? that you're ruthless like Stalin and imagine yourself as the ancient emperor of Japan which would make you like god, and that you're even more selfish than me. and stupid as fuck. if you love someone you have to set them free and if they come back...well. and i think you have to set them free every day.

in my opinion, a relationship oughta be a "mutual agreement to care for one another and to support them and their goals, in as honest manner as possible" i just came up with that, i'm sure it could be better.

i think my blog is offically rantish now...

*i just got off the phone with my bf. he didn't intentionally go offline when i was being bitchy. we talked for over an hour...pretty cool, i feel much better now :) the city he lives in is fuckin boring but the people are friendly and easy to talk to, and the classes seem alright so all in all he's having an alright time. i'm wondering what kind of an accent he'll pick up from there...

a few more words about UFC 62 tho. after the Griffin vs Bonnar fight, the audience was booing which was totally unnecessary and ridiculous... who could honestly think that Bonnar won that? and even if they did, a decision is a decision and nobody will gain or learn anything from the booing, it's disrespectful. when interviewed, Forrest would say "i had an inflamed vagina during this fight" which is a fun joke... referring to how after fights, it's such a classic for fighters to explain their shortcoming by injuries they had "i had a broken leg/thumb/arm in this fight!"... well, anyway, i am beginning to liek Griffin more and more after each fight. the guy doesn't even really start fighting until he's bleeding, freak! :D the Liddell vs Sobral match was short so... yea, Liddell's punches are amazingly powerful, gotta respect that. but now the question is, will Liddell meet Silva or not??