i feel so good, but happiness is fragile and i'm too aware of it. and this happiness in particular is mostly artificially created. i wanted to experience this honeymoon-type of phase, cute shit and sweet moments....and for that i need a feeling of a crush, which pretty naturally creates itself when its needed in a situation like this. things that would normally put me off or that threaten my romantic mood, i disregard, i want to experience this as if it was real. it is real in a way, it is happening. it's just unnatural, an illusion.

i put on Valentino's parfum after a long break and i can now totally remember the summer and the time when i used it actively.

work is blah and customers are idiots. i'm pretty good with idiots that are willing to listen and learn but these guys today...