for a while now i have been half-joking, half-serious, saying that i am becoming an adult. growing up and that stuff. but this morning it dawned on me that its most definitely 100% true. i wasn't sure if i should be sad or what. the reasoning is that the thought of buying an apartment entered my head, i just realized how it isn't all that impossible and the commitment didn't feel so revolting. i should be sad over this change, but its like, if you turn more stupid, day by day, one day you are stupid enough to not understand it anymore and therefor not care or worry about it. the process of becoming more stupid is painful. how could i make this sound poetical; the road is rocky but... nevermind. anyway this is my point. once you finally become an adult, you just shrug like adults do and feel content. or something.

and in the afternoon my mom called and talked about selling some land and stuff, just to help me out. like perfectly timed considering my thoughts earlier. we'll see what happens with that. but even without her i could perhaps considering starting saving up to get a loan one day. but i don't know if i have the self-control to save money so much. i tend to spend everything i get, on travelling and shopping. and i don't get that much working part time + photography :(

speaking of traveling, i'm hoping to take some off again in the fall and go somewhere for a while. a co-worker, Eve, was in Cuba for a few weeks that made me awfully jealous... but Brazil has been on my to-go list much longer.