October 27, 2007

suddenly i remembered the camera in my bag. a nice reminder of last night...err. of course the most pictures are taken when you are at your most drunk and the results are retarded, the shit that drunk people come up with...

i think i learned a lesson today... and i felt like a bad person for a while. which i thought was almost impossible. well, rare at least. for a while now ive been thinking not so nice thoughts of someone i vaguely know (and who im sure will never find themselves reading this but in any case i cant tell exactly whats this about so they wouldnt recognize themselves, and besides its a ridiculous subject, too much info!). its nothing major, more like malicious pleasure... like, i havent talked to her in a while and dont even know her well but she left a slight negative impression on me, i guess id felt like she looked down on me earlier for certain reasons, and i think common acquaintances picker her over me in some situations. i guess its bugged me a bit, not that its been a big deal but anyway. i was just reminded of this some time ago as i found out about the changes in her life. i think things for her and me have changed in opposite directions, and in a very metaphorical way we have exchanged places. well, i admit i felt good when noticing this. inside, i have been quietly cheering over it a while now. also because i know shes found out how my life has changed and i imagined she must notice the irony and feel slightly shit over it. anyhow, i now hear shed told someone i know that she is really happy for me, regarding this particular thing, like, in a very genuine way. no need to say this is where i felt a little bad about myself, and puzzled. then again im sure this happens all the time and we dont know it. because without hearing this, i probably wouldve been thinking for the rest of my life that she disses me like i dis her. and well i think she did dis me back 'then', but apparently shes changed... people change. it sucks to write about people like this, because the way people are, they might try recognize themselves in this, because sometimes you just fear for the worse. the other day i complained about a friend being careless and distant sorta, at least in chat, and another friend asked if it was her maybe. but the chat-person does not read my blog. and the life lesson-person im sure will never read this either. but, someone out there could always think its them. basically vocalizing that i have negative thoughts about other people, altho its obvious and everyone has them, plants the thought in peoples heads that i actively do this. maybe its them im writing about? well that sucks, if you read shit and start thinking its about you :(

the most beautiful creatures in this house

in the bar last night

i just found out i only have 3 shifts left at the customer service job, before my 3-week vacation. after which ill probably have like 1-3 more shifts before its all done and over with...:) feeling nostalgic.

this youtube video is very descriptive of my current situation.

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