oh jesus i enjoy melancholic music so much

the neighbor thing with me an my bf has started off really well... i was at his place tonight and we just chatted for a couple hours and had pizza and in the end i grab my cider and walk back home to drink it. this is the attitude :D i went there, we talked about all kinds of crap like curling and him possibly going in exchange and then he went out to get us pizza, and i fell on my side on the bed, still with my coat on, and started to nap. i'd just said how life is so calm now, so easy on me/us...things are just really good. i felt so warm and pleasant and good right there and then that i thought it'd be nice to die. kind of hard to explain, i do occasionally feel very happy but don't want to die, but at that moment it was different, just really peaceful and satisfactory feeling. as it happens, i didn't die there. however i concluded that it must be just a downhill from there, when things can't get better they have to get worse. it's just that at the bottom you can't too well remember the feeling on top anymore. if you could, no one would kill themselves.

the boxing practise today was really tough, a little too tough for me maybe. i didn't feel bad about it, but i think i could've gotten more out of it if it was a little more relaxed. my hands were still shaking like an hour after the practise :D i like to apply the famous 'what would jesus/chuck norris/jack bauer do?' to boxing, and think 'what would Vitor Belfort do?'...altho he has a BJJ background everyone who knows him knows his boxing....*faints*