my head is empty. i slept perhaps 3 hours last night, which was my own fault of course...and when i realized i wasnt going to catch sleep easily enough it was too late to take a sleeping pill. i wouldve been very drowsy in the morning.

and the workday lasted forever and i had tons of caffeine.

at home, several packages of underwear from eBay were waiting for me, so that made it better. i have to admit none of the stuff was actually very cool in the end, worth the money sure, but not worth what it really costs in a store. but i guess thats why we use eBay? Gossard and LaSenza, since the latter has spread all the way to the UK. youd think american eBay was better, and sometimes they do have good stuff, but the shipping charges are unreal, not realistic at all. i dont think ive bought anything from there so far...

im sorry but one thing i never understood was babydolls. i get its "special occasion"-stuff... but its NOT HOT! its ridiculous. id never fuckin wear that. hmm, altho when its to the direction of a corset and has suspenders, it does get kind of intersting, see this pink thing. cute. yet, i wouldnt have use for it :( i would like to, however! i just can't.

and! why do suspender belts often only look nice int the front? the back is important...

but then i got really pissed off, it had been growing throughout the day. someone got on my nerve, and was pushing me. i felt like saying fuck off but of course i didn't. i was all normal and said something else and hit my head to the wall while saying it. i always behave a certain way in this certain situation and it annoys the fuck out of me, i can see those situations coming from far away and i know exactly how its going to go. and thats how it goes. well, its nothing thatll kill me, maybe ill learn some discipline from this or something... (because the consequences of what i said are annoying and long lasting). so here i was, upset and needing comfort. and this bit is bad and sad: i made myself a drink. its good though, i recommend;

1/3 coffee liqueur
1/3 '43' liqueur
1/3 vodka

it has a kick, and its sweet. and it warms me up, im freezing. the change in weather has happened fast, suddenly im cold and my skin is much dryer again.

my friend Neom, from Toronto, had made this sort of entertaining visual video of a workshop shooting. duting the time ive known him hes turned from i dont remember what to a full time photographer. he certainly wasnt a photographer when we met in dA. its wicked how the lives of people around you change... before you notice someones changed their whole life.

k im druink i better stop blogging