long but eventful day. i shouldnt be writing this actually, because of the conclusions i made today... i should be testing what it does to me, if i stop blogging.

my back is a tad bit better again, thanks to the chiropractor. i was in a meeting with the ad agency about the marketing for the website project, as well some changes to the website...they're really good, i think this co-operation with them will be very fruitful. in fact it has been already, they produced some material last week which was really good for us, but that was just something really quick. i am excited.

after that i met with Arttu and Otto and we discussed not only the website but also sailing and my identity crisis... we went to a nice italian restaurant and i ate enough to puke (but didnt).

and i bought a pink showercap :) (id lost my old one)

F was in Espoo (!!) all day, they(department, team) had a...i dont even know what, one of those team spirit lifting things...somewhere in the middle of nowhere. i am jealous, not because i want to go to Espoo, but because i want to go to such events... we have a team-party next month... and a christmas party in december... but it seems insufficient.

a friend keeps saying shes suicidal (we only txt msg). and i keep saying okay, but give the thought some time, time tends to change your mind...on the meanwhile, have a sedative if life feels too rough. and she says she wants to overdose on sedatives. and i say, well just take one and go to sleep and tomorrow is a new day...play time, so to say. and she says she really thinks of overdosing. well, the discussion is in a vicious circle. if you want to overdose, make sure how many of those things you need for that purpose, otherwise stop fuckin with the pills and take one and breath deep. it totally sucks when life is killing you and you think you cant take it any more. but the only advice i have is to go to sleep and wait. and wait. and wait a little more. it tends to get better, even if that sounds lame. shes nice, so its sad she feels so desperate right now.

ill cut this short on purpose.