today was so much easier... the IT meeting in the morning was pretty good. at work i considered applying for a position within the company, but its full time and theres no flexibility about that, so...too bad. it wouldve been a nice change to what i do now, and fixed term, until the end of february. after that i couldve left the building perhaps. the funny part was that its pretty much the same job F started with in february, so i know what its like and i wouldve handled it pretty well i assume, we wouldve been seriously close colleagues then... but anyway that was an impulsive idea and wouldnt work out. i dont want to leave the website project. and a full-time job doesnt appeal to me...old news... amusing is that with 2 part time jobs i do work full time or close, but i dont think its the same... the website project gives me much more freedom in some ways than the average 9to5 thing. anyhow, i think at some point ill have to make decisions, and i want to, too, regarding the jobs. this customer support job has its life cycle and im afraid for me its nearing its end.

after my work F and i went to a mexican restaurant. we decided to celebrate something, anything. i couldnt make the date, 5th, to match with anything special... so i decided that the 5th of every month shall be an Anniversary. because special days are cool.

i need to iron a shirt probably for tomorrow...uh. im going to Lahti and to an event requiring a dresscode... i can do that a couple times a year but thats all. ill stay there for the night and come back on friday. come home change clothes then i head back. indirectly. i just agreed to go work on saturday, so F and i will go to his parents on friday. they live near Lahti. complicated timetable. and too full! fuck i want it to be sunday and ill go and lay in my bed and never fuckin get up!

my last friday's cause of anxiety started sending me weird fucked up messages today. i have no clue what they mean. first i figured it was sent to me in error, i sent a question mark back and then got more weird shit. i said i dunno what hes talkin about and that he should be more clear if he communicates with me. after that i got an empty message and one saying "its okay, well get back to it later", or something. this is worrying, im wondering if hes ...err healthy. i dont know the person at all really, never met.

the mailman keeps delivering me underwear i bought from eBay. a tiny source of light in every day :) but i quit the shopping for now, it was just a spree i went on... ive spent too much money again so i need to hold back a bit :(

the truth about sushi