seppuku?

it was such a hard decision to make, but i did it, and informed my boss today that i cannot take the new position starting march 1st. still, i think it was even harder to tell my colleague Tero who is really awesome to work with. i feel like im leaving him in trouble cos the team is so small and he is overwhelmed with work right now. working for this company was nice in many aspects, and i wouldnt mind doing more projects such as the ones last fall, localizing sites etc. but this job just wasn't right for me, so i'll pass. have to move on to something else.

my boss said that if new jobs or projects come available she'll call me first thing, she kind of understood my position, my need for freedom and so forth... so thats good. i would be happy to do something else there in the future.

changes are horrible for me. really horrible. and with the book cover job and all i am overly stressed. tough days. might be why i went to see K last night, just to chat and relax a bit, and drink (helps relaxing tremendously...). anyway. now i feel bad about the drinking cos it wasnt supposed to happen so much this month and so i will refrain from it for the rest of the month- thats the least i can do. there were 2 parties coming up, Otto's gf's birthday on friday, and the physicist's doctorate graduation party next wednesday, but i think i will skip both now. well, maybe go and have a cup of hot chocolate or something, dunno.

some documentary film students (girls) from estonia wrote to me through hospitality club and asked to stay at my place on the 28-31st, as they are coming for the DocPoint festival, so i said i don't really have space but if they can bring sleeping bags and floor is enough, then fine. they seemed interesting. and said they will come.

a friend working for the government just called, asking if i was interested in a photo assignment. rather monotonic work, shooting faces of different people from different angles, in a studio, but why not. i had to get some medication from the pharmacy today which cost me 47e!!!!!!!!!!!!! and starting feb 1st i am unemployed. sooo, some money would not be bad. also, this journalist i have been writing to - who lives in istanbul - says that companies are sometimes really slow at paying the salaries and anyway getting a flat will probably require some cash and so on... i should have some savings, but i dont.

now, i shall listen to Leonard Cohen.