heavy

the weather has been beautiful all week, i got lucky. yesterday morning it was very misty and the air was crisp. we carried the coffin to the church before the actual funeral. it was much heavier than i presumed. made of solid wood perhaps.

i had mixed my mascaras and taken the non-waterproof with me. but it stayed on nevertheless, i got lucky. and i guess everything in general went as planned. but i hope that my funeral some day wouldnt be such a sad event. finns get so dead serious (heh) and quiet and its uncomfortable at times, and i almost felt guilty for smiling to relatives i hadnt seen in a long time. i wish people would enjoy the social gathering, there is no use on being decidedly gloomy at least.

after the funeral arttu and i drove to helsinki. visited his parents and came to his place. in the evening his gf came over and we had a nice meaty dinner. arttu's parents were goingon a trip today so they gave us some foods from the fridge that would otherwise be wasted, and im planning to take some with me to istanbul... i have to go buy some things from the grocery store tomorrow too.

ive slept late and taking it easy. part of me feels bad for not taking the opportunity to meet everyone but im just not going to force myself to socialize. next time. im hoping i could come back around december or so...