close but far

returning to my old flat was interesting. it looked the same but different. familiar but distant. like another me, far away. then again, so close. i have to say it IS a nice flat. i wonder what doctor will think of it. i spent 10 years of my life herw and im interested in how he sees it.

i am so confused tho. i was cursing myself for not buying anything to drink (like water) from the grocery store - before i realized i could drink from the tap. and! it felt uncomfy drinking from the tap. thats how fast ive learned otherwise. actually istanbul water is safe to drink, but it tastes bad and so no one drinks it (except i did, in the beginning). and things in helsinki seem familiar all the while they are so distant too, its like there is a lot of space between me and everything. i see memories all around and maybe because of that i feel like im almost not there. the sausage in the shops are very much there tho. i start producing saliva seeing those sausages...

coming from the airport with a bus a friend of mine, AA, got on the bus with his gf... small world, once again. i first went to arttu. he also had the keys to the flat. later Otto came over. we had a nice evening, Arttu cooked, Eufemia came... we went out to buy food.

the flight went well. i was reading National Geographic. it makes me really inspired each time.

tomorrow i should go to Sysmä...