August 15, 2017

work got busy for a change

last week FB was showing me "memories" from x yrs ago, im like wtf, its my wedding pic with doctor. turns out it was our 2yr wedding anniversary. we minimally celebrate, even if just eating a dinner together at home, the 28th of every month, which is the day we started dating. its far more important than the practical choice we made in august 2015. although the latter is a heavy legal contract, i find more joy in thinking about our whole journey together.

NYTimes opinion section: Is naming and Shaming Rapist the Only Way to Bring Them to Justice? NO. because thats not justice, even if it sounds like it. the world has gone fucking nuts. social media vigilantism shows the weaknessess of our species. the fact that rape cases are not dealth with properly or go to court often enough is a problem, as is the shame that is still attached to it which prevents women (or men) from even reporting)...  lots of problems, but i think at least in the west -which is what i am confortable talking about cos i dont know about the rest- we are goint to the  right directions. and stooping to middle ages style vigilantism is like going 50 steps back. it could bring the feeling of getting justice to some victims, but the type and size of the punishment is then anything and everything, depending on how convincing and heartfelt your story is, how good is your online presence and what kind of "online warriors" decide to act on the fury thats sparked. perhaps someone whose very passionate about it decided it's okay to beat up the named perpetrator. are we still cheering? lets say beating someone up is a fair punishment - especially if you are a village elder in the 15th century, okay, but rape is horrible, maybe the perpetrator should be tortured too, or killed? once the online viral machine gets going, you cant stop it and the opinion piece barely touches the problems of it. saying "But when a man is falsely accused, there are a number of avenues he can pursue to seek justice." yeah. so now we force another victim to struggle with the justice system, we just change genders. the writer continues "As well as rebutting the allegations in the forum where they are raised, he can complain to the police or sue for defamation.". hah...  imagine a man who has named a rapist going online and saying "i didnt do it, she is lying". the lynch mob would just get angrier...   okay im going to stop wasting time on this, but whatever the crime i hardly think this type of behavior is the solution, we need to fix the original problem and not create new problems and problematic behaviors. im as vengeful as any, but we've created a better justice system than the village council, because emotional people can act irrationally and cause more harm. call me an idealist, then.

ostrich steak and potatoes. pretty plain...    the steak was marinated, but still. it did the job. 
 art on the wall of a pub in Elephant & Castle.

we got a spice rack! proud of adding a plastic between the rack and wall so the spicers dont sratch the wall.

just over a week ago we went to Brighton and enjoyed the Pride parade there. Brighton is known for its LGBT culture so perfect time to visit...  it was very much worth it. plus a lovely little town in its own right, i could go again sometime :) the whole town was in festival mode and the parade was amazing. Brighton is just 1h by train and the return ticket was 11£ so not bad.


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