fan's dilemma

 i was listening to Missing Richard podcast but it made me a bit uneasy. a lot of the entertainments these days is about making person centric stories and i think the aim of this one was to coax Richard Simmons our of his reclusife life OR uncover something dramatic. but it started coming off as a bit weird, like the world is entitled to get an explanation somehow. and that the people that Richard helped are "entitled" to a closure, and he owes them something. and then there were at the end some odd digs at how he should maybe not have been so eager to support people without any sort of mental health qualifications... i mean, at what point do u need qualifications? he didnt hold a therapist office? does Oprah have qualifications, does she need them? eh. overall interesting podcast, i just always focus on the problems.

and problems wise, does rammstein have some... so disappointing. also sad but unsurprising to see especially a lot of men make wise ass comments, the usual slut shaming and victim blaming. of course i dont have all the details and i assume we never will but just based on what is known about recruiting women for Till's entertainment sounds really uncomfortable. just because something is legal doesnt make it ok. and it does sound like something illegal has happened too. i really like rammstein's music so it bother's me extra. ive enjoyed the taboo breaking and boisterous art which has vulgar elements and it's teasing the norms, but the spell is broken when the vulgarity becomes real...  have i been naïve to think middle aged+ men singing about female body parts would actually behave like normal human beings outside the stage? i mean, i dont want to think so. the book that im reading; Monsters: A Fan's Dilemma is all the more current now.

 

the summer has truly arrived and i not only bought 2 summery dresses in the past week but also had 2 picnics. with Cem & Berkay on friday, and then yesterday me and doctor went to Beckenham park with Can & Burcu. i really like sitting down and just having a chat in a chill environment with no rush and no stress. under a sun. or maybe in shade if need be. ive perfected my picnic packing too, reusable utencils, plates, napkins, mini speaker, bottle opener, sun screen etc etc. i used to always forget SOMETHING, but with my checklist i do really well and im proud of myself. 

also thinking of new tattoos lately. ive been looking around to get inspiration and contacted a couple of tattoo studios well, so who knows maybe i get around to finally getting something done. 

working on my puzzle while listening to a book about the middle ages (and specifically the myths surrounding it, church crusading against science).