i've been reading a lot of blogs lately, interesting shit out there. cab drivers, whores and teenage girls. a very nice way to spend time, reading about other peoples lives. they call it 'social porn' i think. well, tv was that for our parents maybe. i wish i could find a gold mine of blogs in english. when i read the comments and see the interaction with the readers, i sometimes for a second think 'hey i want that too!', but that a semi-automatic sentence to come out of my mouth. and right after, i remember why i never enabled commenting in this blog. i get quite enough of that at dA. i have become a pitifully lazy writer there, but i started writing my journal in 2002 and while the interaction there has been awesome and gained me friends, sometimes it really got (gets) on my nerves. to have wise asses misunderstand me, not read properly and then make unnecessary comments or give advice thats useless. eventually, the audience affects the writing too, cosnciously or sub-. i know this happened. it was the surrounding as well, and i was an admin a lot of the time so i decidedly censored myself sometimes. and like many blogs have a visitor count, dA has a pageview counter. all this escalated to the point where i just needed another place to vent, without these 'burdens'. its good stuff, when you get to talk to people, but i just needed a bit of something else, to not know who reads me, if anyone, to not get opinions and feedbacks. its liberating. and i still write in dA. can't have everythin, all at once anyway...

we booked the trip today. the target of the beach+drinks holiday is Puerto de la Cruz, Tenerife :) this is a tourist trap if there is one. probably with bars where the staff speaks a few words of finnish, swedish and german... i've always found these type of tourist attractions almost sickening, or should i just say they're not my thing. they babysit you from the airport to the hotel and you could have all your meals safely in the hotel and so forth, and this is all neatly packed and priced. thats where most of us want to go. me, too, now. i'm excited about this new experience. altho its really starting to hit me that my porcelain skin will tan a bit. or more than a bit. i'm not obsessed about it, as i was during my goth-years, but i still prefer it pale. but since i'm going supposedly so wild with the whole trip thing, i should just probably let go all the way. then i come back with and i hear the cliché question "omg you're so tanned where have you been??!!" , but this time the question is directed at ME. very confusing. and its still a month away. i should take a step back and relax. a co-worker is flying to Tenerife the very same day as we are, march 25th, but is staying in another city. she asked for my cellphone number so they could come over for a beer some day. lol. its like a different world and i'm a part of it now.

tattoo 24h update











hey its the last day of february! its my birthday soon :)

wacky religious thing.