Arttu asked me for the receipt to happiness. my first thought is 'meds'. but that hardly gives happiness, but with the question presented and for the highest success rate, thats all i could come up with at first. for me, if i'm asked a question, i automatically try to find a fool-proof all-covering answer... with happiness this is hard, there is no one thing that would work for everyone right? u could consider philosophical shit like 'if you spread happiness around you it will come back to you' or 'make the best out of what you have' or whatever... but we know that doesn't always work. with each person having a different background and feelings and experiences and christ knows what else... these advices are lucky to work at best. so while i do like some of those philosophical takes on life and the pursuit of happiness, i can't honestly offer them as an Answer. to continue on my first answer, meds is pretty poor, they get u perhaps contented, accepting...uncaring even. but lack of anxiousness is not happiness. my other option is to conclude that "anything is beautiful when the eye gets used to it" (a finnish saying i think). i.e. acceptance of the way things are. but again, thats not happiness itself. so, i guess i don't know the receipt for it.

my task for today was to pay bills. which i did. my VISA bill depressed me big time. i need to cut down shopping. oh and fuck, i think i was supposed to fill those tax return papers some time ago. i've never had to do this before so it just didn't occur to me... i wonder what happens now... i should call them perhaps. *calls* well, i am 2 weeks late but apparently i can still send the papers in. i thought god himself would come down and slash my throat open for missing my due date. but now i should figure out how the fuck do u fill these. theres a lot of instructions but nevertheless its confusing.

suddenly i felt like calling an old friend of mine, we were best friends as kids but have kept some contact over the years. turns out she is coming this way in a couple weeks so we agreed for her to stay over at my place for a night or 2. she now teaches swedish (!!) and PE in the high school where we went to. and she's still with the guy she met when she was like 16.