what a day. i didnt keep count of the caffeine i swallowed and yet i was a total zombie. im fuckin getting old here. i discussed it with a co-worker. i tought he was 25, but hes 28, and he knew perfectly how i felt. its just not so easy to stay up late anymore. or handle the consequences anyway. i stayed up all night cos i got stuck watching the Mole (australia). well, season 1 is now over and done with.

before customer support job i was in a meeting with the website people. the summary of the meeting was pretty much "we cant help the mac people if they cant help themselves". hmm i just made that up since it sounds good, and fits... mac people always whine how something doesnt work for them. why doesnt Apple provide for its children? Mac people want to play games and have fun too, they want to use nice freeware programs and have websites and services go smooth...but no, they have chosen to give up all that and follow the Great Apple.

meeting













my little stress/confusion/crossroads thingy that i went to solve in therapy really materialized itself in one question... "where do you see yourself 5 yrs from now?" jesus, its not just confusion anymore, its CRISIS. because merely considering the possibility to perhaps think of the answer makes me sick. i dont usually plan that far but the question was never a problem for me. now, being presented with it i am like a deer caught in headlights. waiting for the hit.

im wondering about the Madeleine-case... the latest news claim that her parents are suspected of mistakenly overdosing her with sleeping pills. overdosing on sleeping pills?? boy, thats not as easy as it sounds, trust me. yea she was a kid, so obviously 1/3 of what would kill an adult would kill her. but her parents are doctors! "overdose by accident?!" pleaaaase. i wonder how many pills she usually needed to shut up, maybe she was an annoying ADHD case? and i have no fucking clue who killed her, but if it was via sleeping pills, that her parents gave her, i doubt the word 'accidentally' has anything to do with it.