after work, i spent the evening watching Biggest Loser, season 2. i support self-improvement so its inspiring to see people change like that, its not just another contest for money and fame, but they really want to change themselves. and to see what comes out of these people after they loose like almost half of their weight and are comfortable with themselves lightens my feelings too. great reality tv, made my day better. i think this sort of feelgood-programs are rare these days, or is it just me that makes up this difference? its got a positive vibe and concentrates on achievements, everyone seems like a winner. Amazing Race is not the same at all, but i get a nice feeling out of that too. it feels like a teamwork exercise and a personal test of a sort. well all reality tv is about personal goals and yea...okay. but Amazing Race does it for me, what can i say :)

another close co-worker at customer service is quitting in 2 days, today was our last shift together. sad to see friends leave, but its better for him definitely. several colleagues are in the process of leaving. i am too, so i guess i dont feel bad in a way, at least it wont be them there and me elsewhere...people will be going their separate ways and time will show if we stay in touch. a bunch of us are discussing going to a booze cruise later this year... but if i decide to travel in november then i might not be here for that, if it happens. the travelling thing though, i havent talked to Jaska lately. i am getting skeptical of whether well be going together, but i could always go alone. also, ive been spending too much money lately, i bought shoes and clothes the past couple weeks... so that means that i wont be going to asia i guess. thailand has cheap flights but im determined to not go to thailand. isnt it enough that everyone else goes?? oh and as if to ridicule that statement, i just might be going to touristy-beach-holiday again in december. i experienced the cliché in february, which seems like yesterday, and i think i said one time is enough. it is, basically, but... F and his twin brother are turning 30 in december, and their parents are turning 60 around the same time. so, the 'whole family' (of which i am a part of now i suppose) is going to canary islands (or somewhere there). scary thought... the social setting seems veeeery odd for me, challenging to say at the least. i simply feel so out of place in these kinds of things...its got all the elements...people i dont know well, families, children... but now F and me staying together, which in the beginning seemed so impossible, seems not only possible but good and normal. i want him to spent time with his family and have a nice holiday and i want to share it with him of course. i just feel nervousness over it.