last night we had a bit of a crisis. am i naive to think random (not too often!) crisis can be healthy because they arouse discussion and force you to handle perhaps even underlying issues? either way, i feel more fresh today. i am a bit worried because i have a 4 days of work coming up, each one of them early mornings! and i will miss a meeting on wednesday morning (new job) because of this (old job). but then thats the last day ever. from there on, i am dedicated to one job only and can arrange things to get to all the meetings and what not. i did some work on friday which involved major additions and changes to the website and i am sure it will be beneficial. i feel like it was my baby a bit because i wanted to do it since the beginning.

today we were a bit lost at what to do, but as we were offered free tickets to the Sexhibition -fair. we decided to go. i never go to exhibitions...i just cant think of anything interesting enough i guess, to pay for an entrance fee of 10-20e or whatever they cost. i think the last time i went to one was cosmetologist fairs in '98-'02. minus when ive been working there. anyhow this wasnt much of a thing either...lotsa shops with toys and dvd's and some private strippers and a couple shoes. Sophia Rossi and "Mr French Kiss" were performing there. i dont know if they are porn starts or...what. Sophia was ...you can guess im sure, thin and fit with long blonde Pamela hair and huge tits. i wasnt even close to the stage and saw all the scars from the silicones and even liposuction. she seemed a bit old. we left when she was riding this...hmm, thing. later Mr FK had his show and for the sake of interest (never seen that stuff on stage - not interested really) we went to see that too. he was old too...40 maybe (looked 30 at best but i can tell). very fit and all but his butt had a few spots...:( and, to be honest he couldve been bigger and used it more. why is it that female performers have to be penetrated but the males dont have to penetrate. it is easier for women to use toys but nevertheless, it again looks like women are demanded to give more of themselves.

i discussed meat eating with F. i have nothing against eating animals but the way the animals are bred and kept for the production is not really acceptable. there are good farms too but they probably account for 1% of all meat production if even that. and to find that in Helsinki...well theres 2 places maybe. or 3. too hard to get for everyday use. so we need to cut meat eating drastically. i know F wont when im not around, but we eat together too almost daily so its meaningful what we decide to eat together. im not going extreme here, its more trouble than use, i can buy meat stuff if i absolutely feel like it but i think itll be very rarely. if my grandmother offers meat pie ill eat. ill just try avoid supporting the production too much. i offered F to find a lot of vegetarian recipes online, i realize this affects him more as he cooks for us... also fish and other seafood is not included in this semi-ban. i dont really give a shit about how fish and the other stuff lives. eating meat is fine, i dont care if a sausage includes eyeballs and skin and liver...those are food in some parts of the world anyway. and meat is meat, whether its pig or human. but both humans and animals (fish is not animal in this case) should be able to live a decent life before they die for whatever reason.

and, bunnies should not be eaten under any circumstances! just a while ago we almost went to a restaurant here, but F luckily noticed they offer rabbit-something... fuck that. im never setting my foot in that place.

world aids day today. play safe.