more caffein, please

I'm kind of started watching How To Get Away With Murder, and then gave up, too. but now read this; "Black, Queer and Powerful: Annalise Keating is TV's Most Overdue Anti-Hero". umm, what, with Famek Janssen??! shit, i need to get back on track with this show, i must see that happening ! Annalise is definitely the best part of the show, its the students that got on my nerves and made me give it up.

the other night i asked myself if me/we have finally become proper adults, or a proper adult couple. cos i find us watching tv together and me doing stuff like fixing my tights or whatever...  (could be compared to knitting, right?!). the one thing we dont do is watch tv while eating, usually, i want to keep the dinner sacred, "together time". and the tv we watch is selected shows and episodes, its not like we have an actual television channel blasting whatever... so when we watch, we properly sit down and watch.but this adult-ness is quite nice and comfortable.

last saturday i had another extra post-op check up, since the belly button incision was healing so slowly and i still had other complications too. the incision edges had started to heal without closing so the gyno poked and teased it (sounds nasty but wasnt painful thank god) to activate the healing. and now, indeed, its healed fast and is almost close. i just hope it actually bloody closes one day. even if not painful, having a small open wound in your belly button is kinda...awkward and makes you cautious. i complained about some bladder pain as well, and he put 1 + 1 together and figured it is probably a urinary tract infection. happens sometimes with surgeries & catheters...  ive never had a UTI so i didnt even consider it. anyway now im on meds and hopefully thats the end of that. ive had enough of these issues...

I really shouldn't say a word about the whole Paris and terrorism thing. it has me thinking of various, contradicting ideas. i have always sneered at changing profile pictures is into flags or other appropriate icons (like plain black). YET, there is nothing to sneer at, its how humans express themselves, we want to share and show our values and morals. whether its gay marriage or saying "something shit happened and i feel sympathy, i have feeling, im a caring person". probably similar to wearing a peace sign on your jacket or a palestinian scarf. human animal needs to communicate itself to those around, and changing a profile photo is a way of doing that. makes sense. my first thought is just "well but it does no good, its not useful", but what IS useful? pretty much nothing is, so. i think I'm the pot calling the kettle black? then there is the whole, why doesnt FB offer Lebanese flag etc...  yeah. sure, i can see that. but this is the world we live in, FB is an american company and while it may have millions of users around the world, it is a western "thing", with western rules and values, lets be honest. and humans feel more sympathy towards people and issue close to them. it is not evil, its normal. i doubt somalians are as horrified of the Paris attack as they are over an attack in Nigeria. even if they are more common in the latter. and we cannot mourn everything, everywhere, all the time. we just need to choose whats the closest to us. closest referring to culture rather than geographical distance. and thats how it is. i am lucky im saved from most of this panic and grieving by not feeling anything. i am not sure how close to home (psychologically or geographically) it should hit for me to feel, but pretty close i think. i hope i dont need to find out.

so, this was an odd article about a guy who has a "christmas village"

http://thewalrus.ca/playing-god/ like, christmas villages are a thing? he actually sunds so coherent and smart that i think the article must have gone throgh heavy editing... i mean, i rephrase; i think an obsessive hobby - whether christmas village or something else - is cool, but the part about selling his wifes clothes , thats where i declared him "off". also, trying to get a job could be useful, because a job would bring you money so you can buy more christmas village things? but thats just my logic...

i read Anonymous "declared a war" on ISIS. meh, i have to say for once that the threat sounds a bit pathetic - i really dont think those guys are affected if their "websites" fall down due to trafficor whatever, of course they use internet, but i dont think its the type of internet usage Anonymous can  f* with.

ah, a friend just said there is a new pancake cafe nearby, run by some biker dudes :D i think i have to see this. that area (about 700-800m from here) is becoming so hipstery!!