August 08, 2017

struggling with happiness

NYTimes opinion piece on End of Life Option act. the doctor says "I’ll admit it: I want this option available to me and my family. I have seen much suffering around death." buuuuut he is not really comfy to be the one doing it? sorry my empathy just ran out. i can see its hard to change your ways and find the answers to when exactly do you help someone die, it takes a bit of time, but i wish it wasnt at the cost of patients suffering.

damn i hate to admit it but life is pretty good now. im not sure why i hate to admit such a thing, but ive always been tat way. half finnish-ness half-personality. almost makes me feel guilty, and definitely something to keep under the lid when chatting with someone whose going through tough times. im now waiting for our free range meat delivery from MuscleFood. the name of the company was a bit of a turnoff, sounds steroid-y, but maybe they first catered to gym loving Atkins dieters...i dont know. however they work with smaller farms and offer organic & free range and thats all i care about. im so god damn lucky we can afford buy whatever kind of food we want, too. joy & guilt at the same time is confusing.  then, doctor started at the new hospital last week, but they had induction first and then he had a few days off so he just started properly working yesterday. im so proud of him, really, he's integrated well despite some hardships and keeps positive. AND, i am definitely ordering thai takeaway today! AND, gonna be watching Border Security: Canada's Front Line :D i LOVE border & customs tv shows. yeah, becoming a police was one of my dreams. there is also Bachelorette final that aired yesterday but i know the result so its a bit meh to watch maybe...   just waiting for Bachelor in Paradise to start next.

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