around English cities
currently i enjoy watching Love is Blind (US, Japan, Brazil). i’ve always loved the Bachelor franchise but am kind of growing out if it, just too tired of the “im ready for love, here for the right reasons, falling in love” trauma-share-porn insta fame hungry 20yr olds. ok, all shows tend to have those to varying degrees, but in LIB im getting some more real adult conversations also which i find interesting. like, actual human issues. LIB Japan also woke up my interest in japanese again. i started studying it like a year ago for fun and went on as long as it felt like fun and when lockdown loosened… i didn’t have the time anymore (very unsurprising). but now i picked up the book and apps again and started reminding myself of the basics, learning the hiragana alphabet - which is slooooow. if my interest stays up for a couple weeks maybe i should start classes again. but if not, that’s cool too. we were gonna go to Japan summer 2020 but that didn’t happen. maybe this is the year then. i’m becoming just increasingly curious.
this war in Ukraina though. fucking hell. Putin is nuts, to put it mildly. scary times. and i realise there is no air raid shelters anywhere in London? i mean to a degree where it was public information etc. i had never realised how different other places are to Helsinki where u know where your nearest shelter is. its just kind of basic there. i guess living next to russia does that to you. ive been reading a lot of articles and analysis of the situation, a lot of predictions of the different probably scenarios. what i think i see a lot is Maslow's hammer, everyone writing from their angle as the crucial one. often there is no one reason for whatever happens anyway, its all complicated. but the oligarch specialist says the end of the war depends on the oligarchs, the war/russian army specialist talks about the equipment, air force and how that will determine whether the war goes on or continues, and so forth. the political angles sound a bit more varied. general mood i sense is the ever optimistic european "if we just set enough sanctions...see, we just closed that bank ot of the sysem, they are crumbling as we speak, but if we also sanctions this and that, and see, now that Netflix left russia, it's sure to inspire the people to revolt! sanctions...". i definitely support sanctions and i have been really pleased to see everyone (except UK...) to actually act on them too, so that IS positive, but i feel like the west is always too optimistic about sanctions. they rarely seem to have the intended effect - based on what i read, anyway. and Putin doesnt come off as the kind of guy who is scared by sanctions, or whether his rich buddies suffer from them either. theyve grown up with this kind of game, havent they? oh well, i know nothing and i only have one life so outside of donations i think right now i have to also just try enjoy life. grim, but.
doctor has found new hobbies this year; badminton and improv theatre. i’m happy he has something (new) to do that he enjoys.
Bug Out
on Prime video really surprised me. a seemingly boring docu series - and it does start slow and pretty mundane - but it the way it keeps going reminds me of Tiget King, just slightly lesser in quality. still worth watching.
i was out with this guy in relation to this hobby group im in. we wanted to discuss stuff related to it. anyway - smart, lovely sociable fellow. and first i though, ok, maybe also very eager to get along and be liked. probably cos he is ambitious which is fine, and i have power within the group, and he is the networker type. there were some general compliments and a tap on the shoulder. well, thats within normal, maybe i should learn these social skills too. then he would lightly tap my hand when speaking as if to get attention, but i noticed it got more frequent - although he had my attention as it was. and then he suggested sitting next to me instead of opposite cos the pub was loud. ok. then he made some specific compliment on my body - not sexual but kind of unusual. when he learned my age the complimenting got "extreme", and he would bring it up many times over, how young i look. made me gringe, i mean saying it once as a response to my age, ok, people do that, but dont keep going. well, after a few drinks people say and do things...i know, ive been there. then as we talked about life and stuff he would start saying im so INTERESTING. how do u respond to that? but what was really the sad bit was that he moved gradually closer until his leg was touching mine already - i fucking hate that. and then, when i was showing him stuff on my mobile he put his hand on my knee. and i did not nothing. just froze inside. if i was asked 6 hours earlier how i will deal with situations like that, i'd been confident that i can deal with that shit. well i guess i still cant. i just go to uncomfortable but pretended normal. then after finished the drinks suggested we call it a night (his hand still on my knee, moving up my thigh a bit). i did find it in myself to message him the next day and say i was not comfortable with his physical advances. i expected a half assed "oh, what do you mean? IF that made you uncomfortable then im sorry" which is kind of standard, but to his credit he did own up to being inappropriate and was profusely sorry. doesnt mean im going to forget what happened but i do appreciate acknowledging it was not cool. i know that whole story can read as "a guy tried to make a move and a woman got offended" but... it just wasnt ok. i was not giving those vibes at all.
we went to Cambridge for a long weekend when it was my birthday.
a couple weeks ago Niina visited London, we went to some nice cocktail places.
puzzle im working on
my stepfather's funeral in finland, end of january.
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